The night before the night before the Referendum for Scottish Independence
Although I was born in England, this vote is not about birth or inheritance, it is about where you live and, as I live in Scotland, I get a vote. I get a say in how I want this bit of rock I live on to be governed.
While the passions have been strong on both sides of the debate, it has ignited a response the likes of which haven't been seen in the UK, or quite possibly the western world, for decades. 97% of those eligible to vote have registered to do so. It is reckoned turnout will be over 80%. And at this late stage of the game, there are at least half a million people who are still claiming they are undecided. No one, at this moment, knows exactly how it is going to turn out. Unless MI5 are involved and the whole thing is being orchestrated and controlled to make sure the outcome is exactly as the UK Government wants.
I am not undecided. I weighed it up pretty early on, came to some pretty clear conclusions and despite being as open as I can to the opposing views, have not been convinced to change my mind since.
I haven't been shouting my position from the rooftops, nor have I been condemning anyone who disagrees with me. Given all the information, arguments and passion out there already, I can't imagine for a moment anything I say or do is going to be a contributing factor to anyone else's position. I understand why some people want it, and I understand why other people don't, and I understand why so many are still undecided.
I'm not putting together this blog post to convince anyone why they should vote this way or that. I'm putting it here so I can look back in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years and see why I made the decision to vote the way I did. Either I will be pleased at how obviously sensible I was, or I will be cursing my naïveté. So in part, this is a message to my future self to remind me why I ticked that box rather than the other.
There are many different issues, arguments, facts, challenged facts, opinions dressed up as facts, cultural influences, desires, yearnings and fears. How can we navigate them all? The truth is, we can't.
Right here, right now, I have no idea how many barrels of oil are left in the North Sea; I don't know whether the UK denying the pound as currency to an independent Scotland is bluff or folly; I don't know whether Scotland will become a social utopia or will tear itself apart.
So what am I voting on?
The only thing we can do is look at what we currently have and project forwards as best we can to see how that is likely to pan out. Then we decide whether we want to carry on with that trajectory or decide to opt for a different direction, even though we might not know what direction that is.
Do we stay with the known or do we leap into the unknown?
Do we stick with the devil we know, or is that just a sure fire way of ensuring the devil stays in power?
So what do I see when I look at what we currently have as part of the UK and the direction it's going?
Despite being one of the richest nations in the world, I see the growth of foodbanks; I see the vilification and withdrawing of support for the poor, the disabled and the vulnerable; I see the dismantling of the NHS; I see billions of pounds poured into nuclear weapons which are stored just 25 miles away from the most populated city in Scotland; I see the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer and the vulnerable becoming more vulnerable; I see detached, power-hungry, money driven politicians serving no one but themselves and their wealthy friends.
So I'm voting for a chance of change.
Despite how Yes voters are portrayed by much of the media, this isn't about being anti-English - how could it be? I'm English, my siblings are English and my children are half English.
Nor is it about being brainwashed by Alex Salmond like he is some cult leader and will be crowning himself King. In the event of a Yes decision, Alex Salmond wouldn't become the ruler of Scotland - he would be prime minister until the following election at which point he would be up against all the other parties wanting a say in how this new nation would be run.
Nor is it about some stupid belief that the day after the referendum everything will magically turn into a land of milk and honey. It is the first step toward change and change will only happen if we keep making steps forward. There would be a lot of work to do and things are likely to get worse before they get better, but if the desire is strong enough, then things could get considerably better than under the current system.
The only thing that has really made me waver, pause and feel guilty at the idea of voting Yes, is the poor, the disadvantaged and the vulnerable in England, Wales and Northern Ireland will still be under the abusive power of Westminster but have less people standing next to them.
But under the current system, I have become disempowered. My vote means nothing in Westminster. If I convinced every single person in Scotland to vote against the Conservatives in the next election, it wouldn't make any difference. The UK government is mostly decided by those living in the South East corner of England.
But even if Labour got in at the next election, they have moved so far to the right in their politics over the past couple of decades, that they now occupy the same political space as Thatcher did back in the 1980s. They are a right-wing party that are less right wing than the current occupants of the ruling body. And they see their biggest threat as coming from UKIP, which is an even more right-wing party, so they are adjusting their policies to placate them.
Who is looking out for the poor, the disadvantaged and the vulnerable? No one in Westminster, no matter who I vote for.
Scottish politics, by comparison, has always leaned more towards social justice and equality, while still respecting creativity and enterprise. Indeed, the creativity and enterprise has generally been encouraged for the benefit of all, and not just an elite.
I am not blinded by my hopes. I know full well the biggest problem with any new Scottish parliament is it will be full of politicians. They too will have their fair share of power-hungry, money driven people serving no one but themselves and their wealthy friends.
But - and this is a really important point - if I disagree with who's running Scotland - whatever colour their banner - my voice will carry greater weight in effecting change than it currently does in the UK as a whole.
And this is what my vote boils down to - my psychological makeup. I am the kind of person who, when faced with a situation I really dislike, I look for ways to change it - even if there is a risk it might be change for the worse. And if does turn out that way, then I look to change it again. And again. And again. Until things improve.
The most effective way of any bastard staying in power is by making those under them believe it wouldn't make any difference if they tried to change things, and would probably make things even worse. This is the ultimate way to disempower anyone.
And I kick against that.
For me, a Yes vote on Thursday is a way to make change happen. And if we end up with a government we don't like, then we can vote them out and try another, and another, and another, until things improve. Something I am disempowered from doing as part of the UK.
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