The blog of photographer Kim Ayres

Twice the number of people, but the house is the same size

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My stepdaughter and 3 grandchildren (aged 1½, 5 and 6½) have come to live with us for the immediate future.

Finding a new home for them will take a minimum of a few weeks; possibly several months.

Events like this are never planned, and certainly not lightly chosen. Such responses are only made when no other options seem available.

At the moment, life is one day at a time.

I don’t really believe fate or the universe has a built in Force of Irony, but I should have been more careful last week when I said to Maggie, “My Exhibition and your Spring Fling event are now over, and it’s still a few weeks until the kids break up for the summer holidays. The weather is good and life is quite peaceful just now. We should make the most of this...”

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27 comments

Unknown said...

Life is goofy. The minute you think you can relax...

This is worrisome from a cfs standpoint as the little ones require a ton of energy. If anyone can handle it, you can.

Kim Ayres said...

it all depends how you define "handle..."

Pat said...

What does Meg say?

A Daft Scots Lass said...

just think of all the adventures you'll have with all those small kids in yer hair...

lots of ring-a-rosie, hide and seek and eye spy.

enjoy!

Susan Carpenter Sims said...

I hear you. I'm in almost exactly the same spot. My oldest daughter and her hippie friends have been staying here while they get it together to go on a road trip. Yeesh.

Eryl said...

Bummer!

I hope your step-daughter's ok.

hope said...

I hope you're the support she needs and that she respects [and appreciates] you for offering that support.

Hey, you always have us to vent with. And I'm guessing none of us want to move in. ;)

mapstew said...

Families eh? Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!

We never know what life is gonna throw at us Kim, do we? But we adjust, we cope, and we learn.

Kids are great though, yeah?!

You are good people. :¬)

Hindsfeet said...

You're a good man, Kim....wishing you all peace.....and your stepdaughter a beautiful new beginning......

BB said...

You guys have a lot of "room to spare" in your heart.
There was an ancient proverb that said something like "I live in a small shed, but my heart has the size of the greatest palace in the world".
Is it too early for quotes that come in fortune cookies ?
You´ll be fine grandad ;)
A big hug from Portugal to you guys.

Kim Ayres said...

Pat - Meg and Rogan both love their wee niece and nephews, but Meg is also a girl who likes her routines, which makes the huge disruptions, er... tricky

Gillian - slight energy problems...

Pollinatrix - a tent in the garden is a good idea if they're old enough

Eryl - it all depends how you define "ok..."

Hope - unfortunately, do to the fact I'm not an anonymous blogger, so everyone who can read this can know who I am, venting here isn't really an option

Mapstew - so long as we are judged by our actions and not our thoughts...

Hindsfeet - thanks for the wishes - they are good ones :)

Bonequinhoda - ah, but how many people did he have living in that shed with him...?

savannah said...

sugar, i set up another blog just for venting! sometimes it really does help to have a spot no one (unless YOU want them to) can see. or email a pal, sugar! i think i've done that before. ;~) xoxoxox

Falak said...

I can completely relate to how Meg feels. My family consists of ten of us in a 2 bedroom flat. And all of them are aunts and uncles and extended family. Living together is exactly the opposite experience of meeting up once in a year during vacations. But believe me, if you guys can make it through this then you can make it through anything. :) Hope everything turns out fine.

debra said...

My husband and his siblings used to say," The best made plans of mice and moms oft got to hell in a handbasket." Sending all of you good thoughts.
(o)

BB said...

:)
It sucks i know, but you´ll be fine Kim.
I´ve spent most of my childhood being kicked out from one house to the other (i´ll spare you the sad tale)but there is still great fondness in my mind to those few (those very few) people that weren´t even slightly related to me by blood, that spared their roof and love and food and toys and even problems with me.
Those "guys" are my real family.
It´s those guys i visit at the Hospital,Christmas,e.t.c.
You´ll be fine ;)

Eryl said...

I guess it does, it was a bit of a stupid thing to say really! What I meant is I hope she has the strength to get through it, work through it, that kind of thing. Feeling for all of you. If you need to escape you know where I am.

Kim Ayres said...

Savannah - earlier in my blogging career I set up a couple of alternate identities, but in the end I found it too difficult to maintain the anonymity. Once you start outpouring about your life, it's too easy for someone to make the connection unless you can remember all the false names you've had to devise to cover your tracks. It didn't last long and eventually I decided doing it all under my real name was just an awful lot easier because my memory is so poor :)

Falak - 10 in s 2 room flat sounds like a tough arrangement. Did you grow up with it, or did you have a sudden overnight change of circumstances?

Debra - thank you :)

Bonequinhoda - but how do you know I'll be fine?

Eryl - it wasn't a stupid thing to say at all - it was a concerned thing to say, and I appreciate it. The problem was I spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to reply in the context of a complex situation without going in to details that aren't suitable for this blog. So went for the unanswered answer... And I may well take you up on your offer :)

BB said...

I just DO !

savannah said...

xoxoxo very true! y'all know how to reach me, if ...

pilgrimchick said...

Good for you for bringing them into your household until they find a home of their own--I am sure it will be a challenge, but that is very kind of you. I hope that the process goes as smoothly as possible for all of you.

Ron said...

Growing up in our two bedroom second floor apartment in Downingtown, I had to share a bed with my teenaged uncle (I was 10 years old at the time.) I HATED IT. Then after my uncle left home, I had to share a bed with my two younger brothers. I HATED IT. Now I sleep alone even though I have a partner. I LOVE IT. Good luck to you and your family Kim. I CAN IDENTIFY.

Kim Ayres said...

Bonequinhoda - in that case, could you let me know what this week's lottery numbers are going to be... ;)

Savannah - I do, thank you :)

Pilgrim Chick - thank you

Ron - bed-sharing is tough. Fortunately I've only had to share mine with my wife.

Falak said...

I grew up with my own room :P It was like you said a sudden overnight change of circumstances.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

An open door means an open heart. Just think of it as an extended Christmas come early.

Kim Ayres said...

Falak - that must have been a huge upset and taken a lot of getting used to. It takes time to get used to new circumstances, and such a sudden change must have been really tough on all of you

Daphne - you're more than welcome to have them for Christmas for 6 months if you're offering... ;)

Sandy's witterings said...

I have a distinct lump of empathy on this blog for indeed I am also back living with the ancient Cowans. Indeed such things are not to be taken lightly or are easy from either side. For me I've found things improve greatly over the years - I didn't do the move with my children but everyones problems are different.
For yourself Kim, the best of luck facing this without coffee and I hope the immediate future is quite short and the less than immediate future less crowded.

Kim Ayres said...

Sandy - thanks for your comment - it's always good when there are people who can truly understand what it means

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