In a massive surprise, the population woke up this morning to discover politicians had been elected to govern the UK.
People have been seen shuffling aimlessly about the streets, wearing pyjamas and dressing gowns and clutching cups of tea, with looks of shock and disbelief on their faces.
“I think we’ve all been duped,” said Castle Douglas man, Kim Ayres. “Of course, when you think about it, we should have seen it coming. But we didn’t. Politicians…” At this point he gave an involuntary shudder.
When asked who he thought we’d all been voting for, a look of stark confusion spread across his face. “I dunno really. Real people, I think. I mean, you know, people with feelings. People who care about more than just themselves. Personally I was hoping that nice woman in the post office would get in. She always gives me a warm smile and helps me work out the best way to send a parcel.”
At this point our attention was drawn to the upper window as Mrs Ayres, a local mixed media and textile artist, was seen leaning out screaming, “Bastards! Politician scum!” A small cheer went up from a group of OAPS on the other side of the road
Scenes like this are being echoed across the country as it is slowly dawning on the population of the UK that it could be years before they get another chance oust politicians once and for all.