The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

Brain Fu.n..c...t....i.....o......n........

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Parts of my brain no longer seem to function to anything like the degree they used to.

It’s a worrying trend.

In some areas it’s different only in so far as I wear out much more quickly. I can’t cope with a great deal of activity – physical or emotional – without quickly becoming a zombie.

But dealing with this is largely about accepting my limitations and trying to balance my energy levels; being aware of when they begin to drain and stopping before it goes too far.

However, the bit I’m becoming increasingly concerned about is the processing part slowing down too, not just the battery life. It’s not just that I don’t last as long, but unless I’ve had a coffee my brain just doesn’t function as quickly either.

If I were 30 or 40 years older, perhaps I’d accept it as part of an inevitable process.

But I’m not. I’m only 42.

And sometimes, it’s just a little bit scary.

Still, on the bright side I’m not needing incontinence pants.

Yet.
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23 comments

Anna van Schurman said...

I was talking to a woman last night who said that when she hit 42 her body just stopped working properly. Since I've turned 42, I've had a flare up of my chronic illness. It's only recently when the population as a whole has gone over a 40 year average life expectancy. I think you have to give more credit to being "old."

Doesn't that make you feel better? ;)

Jessie said...

for me I blame it on pregnancies and being around preschool children all day - it's totally depleted my brain function - I forget everything... mid-sentence at times I'll totally loose my train of thought.

I always wish that people knew me back when I used to be smart. :o)

Charlie said...

I suspect your antidepressant is slowing down your brain function, and caffeine as a wake-up call is a good clue.

Stress, too, even in small amounts, plays hell with both the body and brain.

Your paragraph about accepting limitations is what CBT teaches.

And your title is a wonderful graphical representation of how you feel.

savannah said...

at some point in my 40's, i decided i needed to stop over thinking things and realized once i did that, i remembered what i needed and relaxed. i found that i stressed myself out more than my circumstances did! you'll find your solution and comfort zone soon, sugar! xoxoxo

Carole said...

So now your brain functions an IQ level of 146 instead of 182? My sympathies are thinking about being with you.

Eryl Shields said...

I was feeling really sympathetic and then Carole made me laugh.

My brain's not working as it did once either, and it is extremely frustrating. So you do actually have my sympathies, even if I do, just a tiny bit, agree with Carole.

Fat Lazy Guy said...

I'd prescribe leeches. ;)

Kim Ayres said...

Anna - much better, thank you :(

Jessie - I always wish that people knew me back when I used to be smart - doesn't that say it all! What a wonderful statement - coould be a blog description or almost a book title :)

Charlie - I so hope you're right about the antidepressants. There's a level where I can beleive it's a possibility. Last year when I'd been on a different one that left me feeling like I was moving through treacle, when I came off my brain felt like it went wild (see Whose brain is it anyway?). I didn't get that same sluggishness with these ones, but perhaps it's accumulative over time.

Savannah - I've learned to let go and stop stressing about things, but this seems unrelated.

Carole - thank you for not letting me take myself too seriously :)

Eryl - I'm waiting for the time health authorities decide coffee is really good for us

FLG - on the brain?

Conan Drumm said...

I've a decade on you so it must be all behind me, I hope. It's the chemicals I'd say. Look, you spelled function fine, it could have gone like this...

Brain fu.n..c...t....i wonder what I was going to say....

Johnny Smoke said...

Blogger Fat Lazy Guy said...
I'd prescribe leeches. ;)
1:23 AM, December 04, 2008

or bloodletting...

Mary Witzl said...

Carole made me laugh too. And what she said!

MizFit said...

Im almost 40...a few more months...and suddenly all my stuff is rebelling (knees. back.) thankfully my brain is the last to follow but it's following.

Ive started a new brain fitness plan.

seriously.

lemmie know if you want details :)

Kim Ayres said...

Conan - actually I think it was going to be functionality but I got lost along the way :)

Johnny Smoke - welcome tom my ramblings and thanks for taking the time to comment. I am already having having blood taken every couple of weeks - see here and here. Let me know if you're thinking of setting up a Black Pudding factory

Mary - Just no sympathy from some of you

MizFit - so what you're saying is, all this keeping ultra fit just wears everything out quicker?

debra said...

Too tired for profound comments, but sending good thoughts. Things do go in cycles, though. And now I will but on my flannel jammies and fuzzy slippers and read a book.

Kim Ayres said...

flannel jammies and fuzzy slippers - that's what I'm missing!

Annie said...

Hmmm. I hit 40 last July and my brain was on a permanent g o s l o w!

I bought a Nintendo DS Lite and the brain training game. My first attempt, my brain age was 72!!

I can't get my brain to work without 3 coffee's in the morning either :( what a sad life eh?

Kim Ayres said...

Annie - welcome to my ramblings and thank you for taking the time to comment :)

Up until very recently my brain was very (some say over) active. My fear is it's the Fatigue I suffer from is getting worse. My hope is it's as Charlie above says, it's actually a side effect of the anti-depressants

Mary Witzl said...

I frequently leave my keys in the refrigerator, have multiple word-finding problems, and stop mid-sentence wondering what the hell I was trying to say. Believe me, I do sympathize!

PI said...

Do you have any drugs? MTL has beta blockers et al and definitely takes longer to remember when I consult him on a problem and even this last week having anti inflammatories I don't seem quite all there, but thank God the incontinence pants are still just a distant nightmare.
I do think we live too long now.
What Savannah says is so true. I stressed terribly as my brother had Alzheimsrs and one just has to chill about the lost word.

Kim Ayres said...

Mary - and you don't sleep well, which is why I'm always amazed you can function at all :)

Pat - the only drugs I'm on are anti-depressants. My hope is that Charlie (above) is right and it's the gradual accumlation of them which is slowing me down.

MizFit said...

frustrated with my email.
if you didnt get my response this morning let me know...no one else seems to have gotten my emails...

Restaurant Gal said...

I am trying out a new schedule--up till 5 a.m. and sleeping till 1 p.m. That's a holdover from the Key West Adventure. But hey, I'm sleeping quite soundly for a change! Not that I recommend this pattern unless you live in my palm tree crazyville. ;)

Kim Ayres said...

MizFit - got it, and replied :)

Restaurant Gal - ah, so you've decided to live California time while in Florida?

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