I got all excited.
A few weeks ago I entered their BBC7 New Talent Search (see Funniest Post), which required submitting an outline for a radio show and up to 5 minutes of me being hilarious in mp3 format. I only discovered this a few days before the deadline and didn’t have time to create something new but figured I had nothing to lose by stringing together a few blog entries.
The talent search was titled “Witty and Twisted” so I figured that they were probably looking for something a bit more bizarre and surreal than my style, but if you don’t try then you certainly can’t succeed. I wasn't going to get my hopes up though.
It said on the site that those in whom they were interested would be invited to various workshops around the country, from which they would then choose the best to turn into short radio shows. If I hadn’t heard anything by the end of the month then I should assume I hadn’t made it through to the next round.
So when I received the letter this morning, I couldn’t help but get my hopes up. Visions of being lauded as the next Ricky Gervais instantly sprang to mind and I was immediately composing my BAFTA acceptance speech as I tore the envelope open.
The letter read:
Dear Kim, (you can’t help but feel that it’s a good start when they get your name right)I can’t make out the rest of the letter as the ink ran after my floods of tears, before it was scrunched up, torn into several pieces and set fire to, but I think it went on to say that it wished me all the best with my future comedy endeavours.
Thank you for taking the time and effort to enter Witty & Twisted – the recent new comedy talent search (yeah, yeah, where and when do you want me to turn up for the next stage).
We received over 600 entries and the standard has been very high. (Hey, I’ve really seen off some competition then!)
We are sorry to say that on this occasion your submission has been unsuccessful.
However, I did promise that I would post my submission once I knew whether I’d been invited to the next stage or not, so here it is.
Feel free to tell me how fantastic it is and that the people who didn’t shortlist me must have been out of their minds, and that young comedy executives these days wouldn’t know something funny if it turned into a pilchard and stuck its tongue up their nose.