Sometimes a wee bit of dyslexia can set off quite insane thoughts. Earlier today I was sitting in traffic, waiting for the lights to change when I happened to glance over at a newsstand for the Daily Record. And there was the headline:
“FIRST PIG SUICIDE BOMBERS”
Well, the immediate image that leapt into my head was of a pig with a belt of grenades strapped around its waist, charging down a crowded street. What could it have been thinking? “C’mon Perky, let’s show these bacon eating infidels the error of their ways!”
No this is stupid, I thought, it has to be about the recent London bombings. So the next image I was hit with was of wild-eyed Osama Bin Ladin look-alikes throwing squealing pigs, strapped with explosives onto Underground trains. A bizarre vision indeed. But no, I thought, didn’t I read somewhere about Muslims being forbidden to handle pork? Or did that only apply to eating it?
Hmm, so it’s OK to blow up pigs with a wadge of semtex, so long as you don’t try and eat any of the remains. Now completely confused, I had to look at the headline again. Actually it read:
“FIRST PIC OF SUICIDE BOMBERS”