P rt of my Br in is M ssi g

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Did you ever wake up, climb out of bed, progress with the day and find that you left part of your mind behind?

I’m here; I’m awake; I can even use a semicolon when writing.

And yet…

From the outside you would never know – I can still touch my nose with my tongue – but part of me is missing. Aspects of my reasoning powers have not accompanied me into the waking world today.

I can see the dots; I can even see the numbers next to the dots; but I’m not joining them all together.

How do I know this?

Chocolate.

When Maggie wrote the shopping list this morning she said she was going to write a subliminal message on the bottom of the paper. There was something she wanted me to buy her, but not realise I was buying it in case I disapproved. Sure enough, at the bottom of the list was the word CHOCOLATE taking up possibly half the strip of paper.

We laughed, and she said she was joking; I was not to buy any chocolate.

But something wasn’t quite right. Something was nagging me at the back of my mind, but the connection was fuzzy. Wary that I might be missing something, I asked if she was really joking. She confirmed that she was positive: I was not to buy her any chocolate.

Just before I dropped her off in town and went to the supermarket, I asked her one last time. I told her I really needed a definitive answer, because I suspected my second-guessing skills weren’t working properly. Did she really want me to not buy chocolate? Absolutely certain.

OK, I had my answer.

And I acted on it.

I didn’t buy any chocolate.

...

I bet there’s not a single person reading this who doesn’t know I made the wrong decision.

Pah. Brains. They’re only any use when they work properly.
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