The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

P rt of my Br in is M ssi g

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Did you ever wake up, climb out of bed, progress with the day and find that you left part of your mind behind?

I’m here; I’m awake; I can even use a semicolon when writing.

And yet…

From the outside you would never know – I can still touch my nose with my tongue – but part of me is missing. Aspects of my reasoning powers have not accompanied me into the waking world today.

I can see the dots; I can even see the numbers next to the dots; but I’m not joining them all together.

How do I know this?

Chocolate.

When Maggie wrote the shopping list this morning she said she was going to write a subliminal message on the bottom of the paper. There was something she wanted me to buy her, but not realise I was buying it in case I disapproved. Sure enough, at the bottom of the list was the word CHOCOLATE taking up possibly half the strip of paper.

We laughed, and she said she was joking; I was not to buy any chocolate.

But something wasn’t quite right. Something was nagging me at the back of my mind, but the connection was fuzzy. Wary that I might be missing something, I asked if she was really joking. She confirmed that she was positive: I was not to buy her any chocolate.

Just before I dropped her off in town and went to the supermarket, I asked her one last time. I told her I really needed a definitive answer, because I suspected my second-guessing skills weren’t working properly. Did she really want me to not buy chocolate? Absolutely certain.

OK, I had my answer.

And I acted on it.

I didn’t buy any chocolate.

...

I bet there’s not a single person reading this who doesn’t know I made the wrong decision.

Pah. Brains. They’re only any use when they work properly.
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21 comments

no ghosts here said...

And I bet there’s not a single person reading this who doesn’t know that such things only happen with the real important stuff. It might be the chocolate, it might be the bottle of wine or the pack of cigarettes.
Who - for example - cares about loo-paper if he ran out of?

Brainy article, Kim!
I love it.

amy flege said...

damn brain anyway!!!!

Jeff said...

You should have bought the chocolate!

Archie said...

I would've done the exact same thing. I mean, you could be wrong no matter what you do. I have the perfect solution for next time - chocolate-covered rose petals. One doesn't really have to eat them, but...

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Haha, well, I must have a part of my brain missing too. But this was a great lesson :)

Brave Astronaut said...

There are two rules that I always try to follow when it comes to grocery shopping:

1. Do not go shopping hungry.
2. Make a list and stick to it.

I am a rule breaker.

And of course there are those incredible items that leap from the shelves into my cart.

Or at least that is what I tell Mrs. Brave Astronaut . . .

Carole said...

Do not apply for a job as Sherlock Holmes assistant. You have a serious clue disconnect.

Remember that whether it is on the list, off the list, a joke, a subliminal message, buying chocolate is never, ever wrong.

Kanani said...

I agree. Buying chocolate is never wrong. In fact, I see it as a sign of smart mental awareness when someone reaches for a bar at the last minute. They know they need it, buy it, and eat is on the way home.

Tom said...

There's a rule in our house: When in doubt, buy chocolate. And always bet against the Vikings.

Anna van Schurman said...

I have all of my wits about me, and I wouldn't have bought any chocolate under those circumstances.

BStrong said...

Kim you forgot to read my post called "Communication".

http://downsyndromelife.blogspot.com/2006/05/communication.html

Kim Ayres said...

NGH - :)

Amy - yeah, who needs one?

Jeff - now you tell me...

Archie - if you would have done exactly the same thing, then you need to learn from this, my friend.

FLG - normally I'm very good at not listening to what people say, but to what they mean instead. Unfortunately that was the bit of me that was still asleep so I only had the words to go on.

BA - yes, it is amazing what will literally jump off the shelf and conceal itself until after you've paid for it then discovered it while unpacking your groceries in the kitchen.

Carole - here's the deal - you don't ask me not to buy chocolate, and I won't ask you for directions...

Kanani - do you have shares in a chocolate company perchance?

Tom - unfortunately that first rule just encourages a lifetime of doubt...

Anna - you don't know your wife as well as you think you do then...

BStrong - ah yes, the ice cream - fabulous post that. If only I'd read it before heading for the shop.

Glad to see you're still alive - any chance of another blog post soon?

Archivalist said...

Tom -- Best. Comment. Ever. (Pack fan here.)

Kim -- Rule #1: always buy chocolate.

savannah said...

we always make a list, but somehow it just turns in to a list of suggestions...or as the pirates say more like guidelines than rules

Anna van Schurman said...

My wife just tells me when he wants chocolate. But he's crap at cleaning the house. ;)

Canadian Girl said...

You can't go wrong buying chocolate, particularly dark chocolate.

I can touch my nose with my tongue, too - must be a sign of intelligence! ;-)

Kim Ayres said...

Archivalist - rule 1, subclause 1 - if you don't want to be tempted by chocolate in the house, don't buy it.

Rule 1, subclause 2 - removing temptation by eating it all is a flawed argument

Savannah - more like guidelines than rules - yup, I think that sums up the way I live my life

Anna - :)

Canadian Girl - would it be more fun if the nose was dipped in chocolate?

Mary Witzl said...

My husband buys the chocolate even when I beg him not to. Yes, I really do this on occasion; it's so much simpler. I'm tough, you see -- really tough -- but not necessarily tough enough to resist chocolate when it is so obligingly right there in front of me.

Kim Ayres said...

Mary - I know exactly how you feel

Freakazojd said...

Haha! Listen my dear, when in doubt, buy the chocolate. If she really doesn't want it, it never hurts to have some in reserve. ;)

Kim Ayres said...

Ah, but if she doesn't want it, I'll end up eating it because I know it's there

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