The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

Another Appointment

"Do you want to make another appointment Mr Ayres?"

"No, The Specialist doesn’t think it’s worth it."

Three months ago The Specialist in Edinburgh was convinced my problems were down to Depression and that if I just gave the anti-depressants long enough to kick in my tiredness would resolve itself (see When the wizard turns out to be just a bloke wearing ordinary shoes).

Well on the plus side, the anti-depressants have kicked in, especially since they were upped to 60mg about a month ago. I no longer get the sudden, out of the blue, overwhelming feelings of intense grief and sadness that were crippling me for most of the 2nd half of last year.

However, the tiredness remains.

This time The Specialist had no more suggestions. None of the blood tests indicate anything worth following up: my iron levels are fine; my thyroid is fine; my immune system is pretty laid back and not reacting like it's under any threat, and so forth.

There’s little point in traipsing up to Edinburgh to see him any more.

So, in summary:

I officially have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
No one knows how long it will last
No one knows if it will improve or get worse
The doctors are happy to give me whatever pills I ask for to make my life easier
I need to balance my energy levels and avoid boom-and-bust activities

Other than that, I’m on my own.


I need a new Narrative.


fatmammycat said...

Bollocks indeed. How is that useful?

Carole said...


PI said...

But(I just can't help it) I'm so glad the grief and sadness have gone.

Mary Witzl said...

I agree with pi: it's rough, but it could be worse. That is cold comfort, but even cold comfort is comfort.

I've got osteoarthritis. When the doctor first told me this, I was thrilled: it meant I didn't have rheumatic arthritis. I know that sounds pretty grim, but I'll take bad over horrible any day.

TheAmpuT said...

I've read this a couple times this evening, and keep wanting to say, "eat more salad." But I know I sound like a loon. And it's not very supportive probably. But I can't seem to keep myself from typing it, obviously.

Seriously, though...I've been doing a lot of research and personal experimentation lately, and there is some interesting stuff out there about chronic fatigue and enzymes. Please don't flog me with the romaine for mentioning it LOL.

Kanani said...

A very close friend of mine had CFS. They treated her with a dose of anti depressants, plus a diet regimine full of whatever is in greens and regular walks. Her biggest struggle was the dosaging of anti depressants. The doctors had her on a low dose and it wasn't until they went from 50mg. to 100mg. that she felt in full swing.
But I remember it as being a difficult time for all parties.

Anyway, I'm so sorry.

Attila The Mom said...

Well crap. I don't suppose dancing outside in your underpants would be a viable option? Nothing like running and hiding from the post man to get your adrenalin going. :-)

Sorry to hear this.

Archie said...

Glad to hear the lows are gone...
I was lucky to have both my grumpiness and tiredness go away when I bagged gluten. I hope you find something that helps.

Kim Ayres said...

Thanks for all your messages of sympathy, suggestions that I look on the bright side, salad ideas and dancing underpants mental imagery.

Life now moves on because it never stays still.

I just have to figure out which direction to take it in.

Namaste said...

Ah, been where you are. Exactly there, in fact. My personal experience dictates that a deficiency in Vitamin D leads me down the path of chronic "fatigue". Do you notice that the depression and fatigue worsens when you don't spend as much time outside? Try a few minutes per week at a tanning place. You'll feel amazingly well. Supplements of Vitamin D are helpful, too.

Kim Ayres said...

Nameste - while I've definitely tended to suffer mood drops over the winter months in the past, this doesn't seem to be related - unfortunately I'm no less tired in the summer. But I appreciate you giving it some thought :)

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