101 things about me...

Here it is. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions (red updates put in 31st December 2011)

1. I have a degree in Philosophy
2. I play the mandolin
3. I have 2 children, 3 step-children and 2 3 step-grandchildren, although after nearly 15 21years of knowing them the “step” part of the step-children feels superfluous
4. I used to run my own web design business
5. I am now a writer portrait photographer.
6. I used to belong to a Dark Ages Re-enactment Society, where we would dress up as a Celts, Saxons and Vikings, hit each other with swords and spears and get blind drunk at banquets
7. I get hangovers very easily, so these days rarely drink more than a single glass of wine or a single bottle of beer in a day
8. I love my wife deeply, powerfully, passionately and with an intensity that would probably be considered unhealthy if it wasn’t for the fact that…
9. My wife loves me the same way
10. I used to smoke over 30 roll-ups a day. I quit smoking over 15 years ago, went through hell, and swore that I would never give up again
11. If I hadn’t given up smoking, my relationship with Maggie would never have developed because she’s always been a non-smoker
12. When I was 17 years old, on a Youth Training Scheme, I worked with a landscape gardening firm who did the gardens of John Paul Jones – Bass player of Led Zeppelin. JPJ spoke to me once – he said “You can put those grass clippings over there…”
13. I lost my virginity at 15 years old to a girl who was in the year above me at school.
14. I play the guitar
15. I’d love to be a comic book writer highly paid, internationally renowned, sought-after portrait photographer
16. When I was a kid I wanted to be an Astronaut when I grew up. I still do.
17. I love being a Dad
18. I am 5’ 7” tall first thing in the morning
19. When I was 20 I split up with my girlfriend 5 weeks before we were due to get married
20. I find the idea of a benevolent God watching over us as laughable
21. My highest recorded weight was 275 pounds
22. I used to indulge in a variety of illegal drugs. I haven’t touched any since I was 22 years old
23. I hate not being in control
24. When my mother was in the last days of her life, dying painfully of cancer, I made it perfectly clear to the doctor that there was no point in prolonging her life and that hastening her demise would be the more humane act. To try and shorten my mother’s life when all I wanted, with every fibre in my being, was for her to live, was one of the worst experiences of my life.
25. My daughter has Downs Syndrome, which isn’t as scary as I’d feared it would be
26. While I respect a woman’s right to chose, and would never agree to making abortion illegal, I desperately wish that more would chose life. I find it devastating that the vast majority of Downs Syndrome pregnancies are terminated
27. When I was a kid I hated having what was widely perceived as “a girl’s name”. As an adult I enjoy the fact that it means I am more easily remembered
28. I was once sent an appointment card from the medical centre for a cervical smear
29. I joined Mensa when I was 25, but never renewed my membership because I came to feel that belonging to a group, purely because you are good at doing IQ puzzles, was arrogant and elitist.
30. When I was a teenager, I once went out with a guy for about a week. We never went further than kissing, but it confirmed me in my heterosexuality. After that I was never had any doubts about my sexual orientation.
31. I love meeting people from different cultural backgrounds – diversity is one of the greatest things about the human race
32. Since I turned 18 I have voted for Labour, the Scottish National Party, Liberal Democrats and the Monster Raving Loony Party; I have never been able to face the idea of voting Conservative.
33. I left school at 16 and returned to education 7 years later
34. I got my degree at Dundee University.
35. I spent a year at Acadia University in Nova Scotia, Canada, on a Student Exchange Programme
36. When I returned from Canada I helped set up the Dundee University International Club
37. I have spent my entire adult life unemployed, in education, on government training schemes and self-employed. The only ‘proper’ job I had where I was employed was working in a bar when I was 18. It only lasted a month
38. I’m allergic to cats
39. I have an older brother and a younger sister, and I always felt like the odd one out.
40. Blackberry Crumble is the greatest desert in the world
41. When the kids leave home I want to have a 2 seater sports car
42. When the kids leave home we would like to go and spend 3 months every winter living in a different city in different countries.
43. When my daughter was 5 months old she had to have open-heart surgery and I had to face the very real possibility that she could die. Any lingering faith in a supreme being was lost at that point.
44. I played the trombone for over two years when I was at school. When we moved away I had to leave it behind because it belonged to the school. I haven’t played one since
45. I spent the majority of my childhood growing up in Wales where there was a fair amount of hostility to the English
46. I was bullied at school until I was 11 years old, when I refused to back down any more
47. I founded ClacksNet - a voluntary organisation that helps local community groups build websites
48. My father is an artist
49. Because your status in the playground at school is determined by how well you can kick, throw and catch a ball, and I was quite an uncoordinated child, I grew to hate soccer, rugby and cricket with a passion
50. I have a bouzouki which I really should play more often is now my main instrument - I play it more than any other
51. I used to have a business selling limited-edition prints of my father’s artwork. There were many reasons why it failed, but the biggest was that I hated being a salesman
52. I used to teach philosophy at adult education evening classes. I’m seeing if I can set up something similar in this part of Scotland I taught them here for 2 years, then the local council stopped funding and supporting adult education evening classes
53. When I told my father I was going to study philosophy at university he told me that I should “do something useful instead”, like accountancy or business studies, which I felt was a bit rich coming from an artist
54. Some of my fondest memories are of when I played the mandolin and guitar in a Peruvian band, Fiesta Andina, when I was in Canada. I can still easily recall sitting in a warm house, drinking Andres’ home made brown ale, while a snowstorm was raging outside.
55. I once played my mandolin in a duet with a woman from Hong Kong who played the Yang Chin (like a hammer dulcimer)
56. When I was 21 I caught scabies, the cure for which was eye-wateringly painful
57. I was once involved in a threesome and it was far less fun than I’d imagined
58. I practice Tai Chi most days
59. I grew a beard because I hate shaving. My wife has never seen my chin
60. I have the tiniest of scars on my chin from when I slipped on the stairs and split it open, when I was three years old. My son, who has also only ever seen me with a beard, is convinced it must be something hideous and disfiguring
61. I’ve always felt slightly ashamed that I can only speak one language
62. Before I became self-employed, I used to enjoy carving Celtic knotwork designs into pieces of sandstone. Then I didn’t have the time to do it anymore.
63. At various points in my life I have suffered from depression. I once spent 18 months on anti-depressants, and another time spent over 2 years in group therapy.
64. I used to believe in the immortality of the soul. Now I don’t.
65. In primary school, my educational rival was a wee girl called Lisa. I always thought I was smarter than her. Most of my life has been directionless; she is now a brain surgeon.
66. When I was 16, I got a job as a burger fryer in a place called “Filthy McNasty’s”. I was the sacked within 3 days for being useless.
67. I’m a Scorpio and Year of the Horse, and I don’t really believe in astrology…
68. My birthday is the 25th of October, which was also the date of The Charge of the Light Brigade (1854), The Gunfight at the OK Corral (1881), and The Battle of Agincourt (1415).
69. Maggie and I have been together for nearly 15 over 21 years and married for 10 16
70. For a few months, on a Training for Work Scheme, I was the regular, weekly radio presenter of “The Central Action Show” on Central FM
71. I have lost over 65 90 pounds in the past 8 months 6 years
72. I organised 2 conferences for the Scottish Drugs Training Project in 1997
73. I can talk endlessly, which is a trait I inherited from my mother
74. I have a Southern English accent, despite the fact that I have spent far more of my life in other parts of the UK. I picked it up from my parents
75. When I smoked I would often paint tobacco tins for friends in exchange for ½ ounce of baccy
76. I drive a Mazda 3
77. When I ran my web design business I belonged to an organisation called BNI (Business Network International). I was the longest serving Chapter Director at the Stirling branch
78. I once went out with a lesbian, who only dated me so that her boss would think she was straight
79. I am very non-judgemental, unless I perceive you to be a threat to my family in which case I am extremely judgemental
80. The first “job” I had when I left school was working for an Estate Agent on a government training scheme. I sat around 8 hours a day waiting for something to happen. The highlight of the day was making the coffee.
81. I only learned to iron shirts this year 6 years ago
82. I was 36 when my stepdaughter made me a grandfather. “Do you want to be Grandad or Grandpa?” she asked. “Both sound too bloody old to me” was my reply. I eventually settled on Grandad
83. My mother was an incredible pianist, although I never appreciated it at the time
84. Despite the fact that he is four years older than me, my brother is sometimes mistaken as my younger brother
85. I enjoy logic problems
86. My eyes are grey, although depending on what I am wearing or the lighting, they can appear blue or green
87. The older I get, the less patience I seem to have for people who just moan about their lives without actually trying to do anything about it
88. I can happily stand up in front of hundreds of people and deliver a presentation without my heart raising a beat, but ask me to cold call a complete stranger on the phone and my heart will be pounding and I will break into a sweat.
89. I love the idea of the old story teller who travelled from village to village, telling tales around the fire in the chieftain’s hut
90. I have a habit of giving 30 minute answers to questions when a 30 second one would do
91. In my early 20s I worked out how to get rid of hiccups by focusing on them instead of trying to hold my breath or drink out of the wrong side of the cup. If you’re desperate to know how it’s done, just ask
92. The games I enjoy most are those that you sit at a table for and require a bit of strategy and thought, like backgammon, chess, draughts (that’s checkers in Americanese), hnefatafl (a kind of Viking chess), othello and card games
93. I was born in 1966. In the UK the only thing anyone remembers about that year is that England won the world cup against Germany playing football (soccer). And every single Euro or World cup they bring it up again and again and again and again and again…
94. My favourite comedians are Eddie Izzard, Jack Dee, Paul Merton and Dara O’ Briain
95. Often I create birthday cards on the computer (using Photoshop) for family members which involves putting them into an image with their favourite pop/film star
96. I helped my stepson to raise £2,000 for a cancer charity when he did a 100km hike in the Sahara Desert
97. If I had the money I’d buy an Aston Martin DB9. If I had unlimited money, I would buy a reconditioned Jaguar XK140
98. My hair used to be so long it went most of the way down my back. I cut it short about 7 years ago and don’t regret it. It is so much easier to look after now.
99. When I was young, I wondered what my limits were, whether I could ever be broken. After I broke it took a long time to put the pieces back together. They weren’t all there so over time I had to create new bits to fill the gaps. Whether I am stronger or not is debateable, but I am considerably wiser.
100. I don’t have a middle name. My parents spent 3 weeks to come up with Kim as a first name. I don’t think they had the will left to find another.
101. I’m the only one in the family who doesn’t squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle