“The test results are back and they’re quite conclusive.”
“Your problem is caused by a severe fat and sugar deficiency. It seems the past 2½ years of healthy eating has had unforeseen side effects.”
“So what does that mean?”
“It means, Mr Ayres,” my GP paused for dramatic effect, “I’m going to have to put you on a strict diet of biscuits, cake and ice cream beep-beep.”
I pulled my mobile phone out of my pocket, but no one had texted me. “How long for beep-beep?”
“At least the next beep-beep two years, and then we’ll need to beep-beep review the situation.” The doctor and his consulting room began to fade as the beeping grew louder.
“NOOOOOooooooooooooooo….” I grabbed the alarm clock and hurled it across the bedroom. It wedged itself into the bookcase and continued to mock me with its beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep….