The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

Weight Changes (part 1)

Over the past 5 months I have lost over 3 stone in weight (intentionally I should add).

I should be feeling good about myself, however there are times when it feels like I’ve never been so fat in my life. Part of the problem lies in the fact that I’ve never been so bloody obsessed about it for such a long period of time.

Where the height-weight charts are concerned, I’ve been overweight all my adult life, even though I can look back at pictures of myself in my late teens/early twenties and think how thin I am then.

However, at the moment, I have lost 3 stone since February. This is the largest amount of weight I have ever shed. But despite this loss I am still a middle-aged fat man with a beard. And if I were to lose another 3 stone, I would still be a middle-aged fat man with a beard. In fact I would have to lose a further 3 stone beyond that before I would get down to the appropriate weight for my height.

Somehow this seems ridiculous. I mean, yes, I knew I was overweight; I knew that I’d outgrown clothes that could be purchased in high-street shops, but I still functioned. I could still walk, talk, watch TV, play with the kids, get in and out of the car with ease, and run a business. It’s not like I was disabled.
And yet, after 5 months of eating healthily, and losing 3 stone, I am still a fat man. I am not just obese, or grossly obese: I am still in the morbidly obese category. So when I began my healthy eating regime (or I should say cutting out my unhealthy food regime, as I basically ate quite a good diet, with a lot of crap on top), at 19 stone and 9 pounds I must have been I-can’t-believe-you’re-still-alive obese.

(For part 2, click here)

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