Apparently I'm the picture of health

"Let's see... according to the blood tests your liver is fine; your kidneys are fine; you don't have any inflammation; glucose levels no problem; cholesterol very good; white blood cells are neither small nor large so that's fine; PSA is perfectly normal... Nothing's flagging up."

"So I have the body of someone a decade younger?"

"Well, you have the body of someone your age who's been looking after their health..."

Following on from my visit to the doctor a few weeks back (see previous post, I Still Have It...), I saw the nurse who took some blood and sent it off for a raft of tests.

Today I returned to see the doctor to discuss the results.

It seems I'm in pretty good shape.

Given I'm now at an age where some people seem to suddenly drop dead unexpectedly ("He was out for a run/eating his breakfast/delivering a powerpoint presentation when he suddenly had a heart attack/fell face first into his rice crispies/went completely blue in the face and dropped to the floor... AND HE WAS ONLY 56!"), it's a great report to get.

But it also means the doctor feels it gives her even more reason to stick to the original CFS/ME diagnosis.

Part of me was really hoping something would show up.

Part of me was also a bit terrified that something would show up.

Let's face it, I wouldn't want the reason for my fatigue being I had some terminal illness with only a few weeks to live.

I guess what I really wanted was something like my zinc levels were low and I could take a daily supplement with my breakfast and miraculously my energy levels would be restored.

But no. It looks like whatever I have is here to stay with no explanation.

Maybe after 15+ years I have to move on to the next stage of grief beyond denial and into anger - but that would take a bit too much energy...