Is there a word for that feeling?

For Christmas, we bought Meg a Hudl - a sort of downmarket iPad - which she seems to mostly use for watching old episodes of Strictly Come Dancing.

With this new way of accessing the Internet, her big sister helped her set up a new email address, and one of the first things Meg did was send me an email.

It never arrived.

I meant to look into it, but was distracted, then forgot, until yesterday when she mentioned it again.

So I sat with her as she opened up her email account and I told her to go to the Sent folder and find the email. I then got her to pull up the properties to see what email address she had used. Although my name is not too long, it's easy enough to put a couple of letters the wrong was round. However, it wasn't any strange combination of Kim and Ayres, instead she'd sent it to:

Dad@gmail.com

I experienced a really strange mixed emotional response. The feeling was so unusual I'm not sure I've actually had it before so it's a little difficult to describe.

On the one hand it seemed incredibly cute, but at the same time, Meg will be 18 in a few weeks.


Me and Meg last year on her 17th birthday

There are so many times I forget she has Down's Syndrome. Of course it's a part of who she it, but it's not the defining part by a long way. Every day I interact with my daughter on so many different levels where the DS is completely irrelevant. Meg is, first and foremost, Meg.

There are many times I love the quirky way Meg can see the world, but every now and then I'm reminded that part of it is due to a lack of understanding.

It was the most strange of feelings, but I have no idea if there's a simple word to describe it.

Any suggestions?