The blog of photographer Kim Ayres

Fashion...

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Clothes

Style

Fashion

Looking good

These things are a complete mystery to me.

Ok, so I get by with ignoring it most of the time, but every now and then, like when I really need something new to wear, I am confronted by my own ignorance in these matters.

High street shops, charity or thrift stores, it makes no difference: I am clueless in this area.

Apart from getting smaller waisted jeans, nearly all my clothes are remnants from when I was over 100lbs heavier. My shirts are all old, worn and extremely baggy. Worse still, somewhere along the line the fashion shifted so tucking in your shirt became a big no-no. Unfortunately, when wearing shirts that are 4 sizes too big it means I’m walking around in billowing tents most of the time, or they are flapping out of the bottom of my jackets/ sweaters/ coats like an old dress.

The reason I dress like this is every time I go into a shop to look for something new, I feel completely out of my depth. It seems my choices are either to buy stuff aimed at 17 year olds, or to look like my dad (or even granddad).

What is a guy in his mid-40s supposed to wear these days? I have absolutely no idea. I feel completely out of my depth, so I end up panicking and leaving without having anything new.

Nearly 3 years ago I wrote about still wearing the same style of clothes I did 25 years ago (See - Am I mad, in a coma, or back in 1981?). Unfortunately I'm now at a point where it's not just about style - I am actually wearing exactly the same clothes from 10 years ago, and they're getting a bit threadbare.
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33 comments

Sandy's witterings said...

The real downer is that nobody's going to notice if you get it right but they certainly will if you get it wrong. I pretty much go along with what I always wore - with of course the exception that I no longer tuck in my shirt.

VÆ°Æ¡ng Tá»­ Trá»±c said...

Black and white never outdate.

marke said...

I'm pretty sure respectable businessmen still tuck their shirts in...., but I could be wrong.

debra said...

Another reason we have children---to be our self-proclaimed fashion consultants. Comfort trumps style for me---I wonder if I could have both?

Anonymous said...

So tucking shirts in is international fashion no-no. Just that alone makes us in the same out-of-fashion boat.

Anonymous said...

I just noticed someone who commented earlier on this post will be in the neighborhood of the exhibition.

Pat said...

From my recollection all you need to do is to replace the worn out with a fitting size - generous rather than skimpy. You could do worse than enlist Rogan's help. It worked with my son and his son.
BTW I didn't notice any worn out or ill fitting clothes - just a rather nice colour combo.

St Jude said...

I would offer fashion advice but I'm not sure how you would get on in a little black dress and heels ;0)

mapstew said...

I spend most of my time in jeans & T-shirts, (most of which I get from Tesco & Primark!) And a few check shirts. Shirt ON for winter, OFF for summer.(And if the weather is particularly good then its just Speedos!!)(You KNOW I'm joking 'bout the Speedo ya?)
And a hat, I have a big collection of hats.

Black suit for the gigs.

Eric Fischer said...

My rule of thumb - when in doubt go for grandfather

AA said...

Gosh Kim, I wish I had the same problem. :)

neena maiya (guyana gyal) said...

Debra and Pat are right. Ask your son, I think he'll enjoy himself thoroughly and oh, one word of warning, don't say nay nah or no to whatever he suggests. Agree. It's your job as a father. I say this as a daughter who tries to boss her mother :-D

Mary Witzl said...

Yes, I agree with the son-as-fashion-consultant scheme. This is where my daughters come in handy: they go with me when I shop and keep me from coming home with ONLY the shapeless grey fleeces that I love so dearly. Charity shops are filled with great stuff. I recommend Marie Curie and British Heart Foundation.

Anonymous said...

I vote for the son as fashion consultant...for pete's sake I'm wearing cut off jeans, how out of date is that? 1960s maybe? I just got plum tired have having to hem up jeans cause I'm not 6 feet tall which is what height they make jeans for. I'm not a spring chicken anymore, actually I'm pushing 70 and I still don't know how to dress fashionably. And at my age I really don't care anymore. Wear what's comfy is my motto. If I'm going for style I'd ask my son...he keeps up with all that sort of thing.

Chocolatesa said...

That's what the internet is for! You have the whole world to shop from :)And you can probably find a forum somewhere with advice on what to buy.

Eryl said...

Try Marks and Spencer, they have basic shirts, tees, rugby shirts and jumpers, all perfectly suitable for a man of your age. They have an outlet store a Gretna where you'll also find a Gap which has the same kind of stuff only slightly more fashion forward.

Kim Ayres said...

Sandy - I think perhaps most blokes - unless you're a metrosexual - are the same...

VÆ°Æ¡ng Tá»­ Trá»±c - expecially if you are a vicar :)

Marke - I gave up being a respectable businessman about 6 years ago :)

Debra - comfort and style? I think the 2 are mutually incompatible

Allen - but you're an artist, so you can dress how you want. Artist's are expected to be eccentric :)

Pat - the problem is I can't seem to buy the style of shirts I usually wear. Everything has short sleeves and stripes these days, which I really don't like :(

Jude - I might be 100lbs lighter than I was, but I'm still 20lbs over what I should be, so that skimpy little black number would just show up all the bulges in the wrong places...

Mapstew - I never get warm enough for shirt off (courtesy side effect of the CFS)

Eric - turquoise polyester trousers it is then!

Adila - from the photos I've seen, I don't think you need to be 100lbs lighter...

Guyana Gal, Mary and Theanne - my son just wears t-shirts with band names on them, and jeans. He's hardly a fashion guru.

Chocolatesa - you have to have an idea of what you want before you start searching, otherwise you end up with "option overload". As for the advice, my stepdaughter suggested TV guru, Gok Wan, then followed it by pointing out he would probably have me carrying a "man bag" and wearing a silly scarf. Which is true, he would.

Eryl - not a sports shirt kind of guy. I'll check their shirts again, but last time I looked it was all short sleeves and stripes. Ugh :(

Anonymous said...

Your right! :D

Kim Ayres said...

Allen - in fact, if you dress a bit to ordinary, people will be a bit disappointed in you. They want you to look out of the ordinary, not like a bank manager :)

Jayne Martin said...

Wives are usually really good at this sort of thing. Take Maggie with you. I'd love to go shopping with you. This is right up my alley!

Just remember. It's worth it to buy fewer things of better quality and a lot of what you buy will probably need to be tailored for a perfect fit.

Hindsfeet said...

you're talkin' to the wrong woman here, Kim...talk about the blind leading the blind....

...apparently I am the only female on the face of the earth who *hates* to shop, I am missing the gene entirely...I seriously considered converting to Judaism at Christmas-time just to get a get-out-of-shopping-hell-free card.

...This is why I *always* wear black. You cannot go wrong with black, and it matches anything. And you look cool, like you meant to buy it, like you meant to look just like you look. haha.....

can't wait to see "the reveal" ; )
Liz

Unknown said...

I can never keep up with the latest fashion. i have a few pieces but i swear scrubs and sneakers so often it's really pointless to buy anything.

when i do i steer clear of fads. that way i can wear them for years without looking dated

Falak said...

Maybe you should get your clothes made to order :)

Eryl said...

If you don't like stripes at the moment you're pretty stuffed, unless you like checks. You've also probably just missed the long sleeved season, but at least men get one, it's virtually impossible to get arm coverage if you're female.

Have you considered learning to sew?

Apex Zombie said...

Ah, fashion. I have almost no idea on this either, but I tend to know what I like. I'm a shorts and t-shirt kind of person, but I like checks, plaid, and stripes, so I try to add those.

If you don't know what you like, emulate someone you think looks good.

I don't know if this would help, but it could give you some ideas:

http://www.uncrate.com/men/style/garb/

I think in the end, getting things that fit well matters more than what they are.

StephanieC said...

They are probably back in style now, if it is any consolation.

Just try to get stuff that isn't "hot" or "trendy". Literally tell the salesperson you want something "timeless".

As lame as that sounds, it's kind of like the female's little black dress. If you get it basic enough without trendy components, it'll last you until it wears out or you tire of it.

Good luck man!! Shopping can really suck for men!

Mimi and Tilly said...

I'm all about the earrings and handbags so probably not the best person to give you advice... I think a clean, fresh shirt and a whiff of aftershave never go out of style, regardless of the colour/bagginess. And a fresh white t-shirt under a v-neck sweater is always a good combo in my book. Em :)

Alan Richardson said...

Fashion -schmachion. I'm with you Kim I hate shopping for clothes - I can manage underwear, socks, jeans and shirts (no tie); the one time I did make a concerted effort was in the very early 70's - a three piece suit - purple; you can imagine the rest
;-)

Oh, and I did pluck up the courage and bought a few clothes in the King's Road, Chelsea.

My default these days is jeans and dress-shirt (gone are the days of French cuffs but I still have some cuff-links knocking around somewhere) which has to be tucked in and if it's cool a favourite sweat shirt, no company names or logos, . . .

I'm rambling

Alan

Kim Ayres said...

Jayne - words like "quality" and "tailored" imply an income currently unavailable...

Liz - unfortunately this isn't a relaity tv makeover show, so there will be no "reveal". In fact, the chances are if you catch up with me in another 10 years time, I'll probably still be wearing exactly the same clothes...

Roschelle - the problem is all the shops stock pretty much exactly the same stuff, which will all be dated within 2 years. I can't seem to find anywhere that just does "neutral"

Falak - I have to refer you to my reply to Jayne...

Eryl - checks are worse than stripes :(

FLG - spoken like a man who used to be overweight :) I see you have the same thought patterns that finding something that fits was always the first priority. This means, even though you have lost all that weight, you still haven't really adjusted to the idea that you can now wear things bought from any high street shop

Stephanie - no one sells "timeless". If they did, they couldn't get people to come back and buy new every season...

Emma - the last time I wore aftershave was just after the last time I shaved, which was about 22 years ago...

Alan - I do have one shirt somewhere that requires cufflinks. Unfortunately it was bought back in the days when I was 100lbs heavier

StephanieC said...

Some stores do sell very basic, non-trendy items. They may not refer to them as timeless, but not EVRYTHING out there is trendy.

Kim Ayres said...

Well if you could point me to a few locally, it would be appreciated... :)

Jayne Martin said...

"Quality" and "Income" is why I shop so often at consignment shops. It's amazing the really high quality once-expensive threads you can sometimes get at these places. And it's fun. Kind of like a treasure hunt.

I'm all about the bargain.

Kim Ayres said...

I have no problem with buying at charity shops, but then we come back to the initial problem of I have no clue what to buy that would actually suit me

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