The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres


I am tired so much of the time. Not so much of the can’t-keep-my-eyes-open, but more of the I-could-really-have-done-with-a-couple-of-extra-hours-sleep kind of tired. The tiredness that means everything is that bit more of an effort.

It’s so difficult to summon up enthusiasm or motivation. If anything is suggested that requires effort, all I can think is that I can’t deal with it just now; I just have to hope I’ll feel more like dealing with it at some point in the future.

I finished my course of 10 vitamin B12 injections about 2 weeks ago, but it feels like it’s just lifted me back to the point where I was just before I went to see the doctor in the first place. My craving for coffee, just to bring me to a point where I can feel like I’ve got a bit of energy, is steadily increasing and the coffee is getting steadily stronger.

When I saw the doctor on Wednesday he started questioning me along lines that indicated he thought I might be suffering from depression. He tried this one back when I first saw him, before I’d had any blood tests. I tried pointing out that I was familiar with the symptoms of depression, and although this had some similarities I was pretty certain they were following the tiredness, not causing it. He’s clearly got this idea stuck in his head and we ended up in a slight argument when I said I had no desire to go on anti-depressants when we still hadn’t looked into the physical causes.

Fortunately it was his last day. He was only at the practice for one year and now moves on to Aberdeen. I have an appointment with the nurse to take blood next week to check the B12 levels and will see a different doctor when the results come back.


fatmammycat said...

I'm sure this has nothing to do with it, but are you sure you are getting the right amount of carbs during the day Kim? I know it is common for folk on a diet to lose energy after a while if they are not fueling the body properly. Pasta and rice and bananas eaten early in the day help a good deal with the energy levels. Like I'm saying I have no idea what your diet is, but I'm sure you've considered it. You doc sounds like a drug first sort of guy- to be avoided. Hope you're okay.

Attila The Mom said...

Oh eek.

You know, although we have completely different health care systems, that rotating thing would just freak me out.

I find comfort in being with a practitioner who is personally familiar with our history.

My personal pediatrician/family doc (since I was 6!) attended the birth of my big kid before he retired.

Our family has had the same doc for the last 9 years. He knows the boys, he knows hubby and I intimately---warts and all.

I hope you feel better soon, my friend!

Kim Ayres said...

Fatmammycat - I'm pretty sure my diet is good. I start the day with a bowl of muesli, rich in dried fruits, nut and seeds. A good thick vegetable soup with a variety of wheat and rice crackers for lunch and a good wholesome dinner. Plenty of fresh fruit & veg, brown/wholemeal instead of white, and cutting back on wheat and dairy - pretty much summarises my eating habits these days.

Atilla - it's not a standard way of doing things - the local practice has 7 permanent doctors but has the occassional one passing through on their training rounds.

We moved to the area a year ago, but being a basically healthy person, this was the first time I'd really been there to see a doctor. As I didn't know one from another, I just made an appointment to see the first doctor I could and I was put with this guy and I've been seeing him since. I don't have faith in him and am pleased that I'll get a chance to see another one now that he's moved on.

Foot Eater said...

I assume your iron levels and thyroid function have been checked, Kim.

Attila The Mom said...

Ahh, that's good. Did the shots help a lot? Are you taking B-12 supplements?

I went through a course of shots some years ago. Our doc told me to continue taking B-12 in Pill form.

Kim Ayres said...

Foot Eater - Iron levels checked out fine, although fromwhat I can make out, B12 is involved in the production of red blood cells, so a deficiency can lead to a form of anaemia

Atilla - The shots helped a bit, but not as much as I was hoping. It all hinges now on the blood tests I should have this coming week to see whether my levels are back up to normal or still dropping.

Stella said...

Hope you are feeling fit and well soon Kim. Let us know how the blood tests go.

Kim Ayres said...

Stella - I daresay this theme will work it's way into several blog entries to come :)

Kate said...

That sounds really lousy - it can't be much fun feeling tired all the time. I hope the new doctor has more ideas about how to help you than the last.

Anonymous said...

A doctor so "eager" to put a patient on anti-depressants is a sign of a poor doctor (IMO). Nowadays it seems to be an easy way for them to move on to the next patient and get home. As a result, we've got thousands of people on anti-depressants when there are other issues that are causing the problems.

Anonymous said...

Just read elsewhere on your Blog that you are into meditation? So here is a thought that may strike a chord or not. I'm just taking a guess. All I can say from a few years of personal experience of deep meditation, is that is has to be taken in moderation. Long term, it rewires brain chemistry (even the level of our sleep patterns), and can leave us spaced out in a kind of weird lethargy for no 'apparent' reason during the day. I noticed this in myself at one stage,and since returning to moderation with it,I have much more energy for the busy modern world we live in. Too much meditative state can re-route our life energy "sedate" too much, and means it is not balanced for daily life too.

Kim Ayres said...

Anonymous - I can't remember where I might have said I was into mediation, however it's not actually something that I practice. I keep meaning to get round to it, and I understand the principles, but have never overcome the inertia to make a start on it.

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