The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

Déjà vu

“Kim. Kim. It’s 3 o’clock.”


“Are you awake?”


Then my alarm goes off. I switch it off and attempt to focus my eyes on the figures displayed under the small but incredibly bright light, which threatens to fry my eyeballs in their sockets.


I have half an hour to get up, get dressed, drink coffee and get Rogan and his bags into the car. It’s then another half an hour drive to Dumfries where the coaches are leaving.

“But I’m Fatigued, don’t you know?” I mumble into the pillow, but Maggie’s already back downstairs, making sandwiches for his journey.

This is the school skiing trip to the Italian Alps Rogan began his Cakes Business to help pay for. Although he didn’t manage to earn enough to cover it entirely, he did eventually put £350 towards it, which was nearly half.

He’s heading for a resort called Aprica where, oddly enough, I went on my first school skiing trip back when I was just 6 months younger than Rogan is now, about 2 months after my 13th birthday.

I remember it as a time of chatting up Italian waitresses; roommates getting drunk; and trying to steal a Christmas kiss from the eminently fanciable PE mistress.

Can I imagine Rogan getting up to these kinds of things?

Not really.

Perhaps it’s because I’m his Dad and so he seems so much younger than I remember being at that age. But then I also get the feeling he’s not quite as, quite as... [insert appropriate word]... as I was.

Which is probably a good thing.

Either that, or he’s particularly good at covering his tracks. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing either.

5am. I’m climbing back into bed. Maggie’s fast asleep, but thankfully very warm.

Getting up a 2nd time this morning certainly felt a bit odd.

It’s a strange day of mixed emotions.

My stepdaughter, Holly, is down to visit for a few days, and it’s always wonderful to see her.

And it’s Meg’s 11th birthday today. I’m sure she was only 8 the last time I looked.

And there seems to be a Rogan sized hole in the family.


savannah said...

(((((hugs)))) i know that feeling, sugar!

gimme a minute said...

Happy Birthday, Meg.

PI said...

I hope it's a lovely day for you all - especially Meg.
Bless you for the tip re right click go back. That is such a time saver.

Kim Ayres said...

Savannah - ((hugs)) to you too :)

Gimme - thanks :)

Pat - glad to be of service :)

Kanani said...

Happy Birthday Meg!

I'm sure Rogan is having a great time! Good job on his raising funds for the trip!

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Wow, that sounds like an awesome trip Rogan's on.

Happy Birthday to Meg :)

Sarah said...

happy birthday to Meg!!

holes in the family. so much like holes in the heart. <3 Kim.

problemchildbride said...

happy birthday, Meg!

I hope Rogan has a smashing time. He raised 350? That's brilliant! Good for him.

debra said...

Happy belated b'day to Meg.
My #2 daughter used to be on a swim team. 7AM warm-ups weren't unusual. Which meant up to be out of the house at 5 at times. Cruel and unusual punishment. I hope Rogan had a good day.

Kim Ayres said...

Kanani - thanks - I think Rogan quite surprise himself on that :)

FLG - I think the real drawback is they're going by coach rather than flying. 2 days is a long time to be on a bus

Sarah - true...

Sam - and thank you for helping him give it a decent kick-start. It is very much appreciated :)

Debra - fortunately none of the kids have developed a fondness for early starts. He'll be back in a week

Mary Witzl said...

Ooh, I know that feeling too, Kim! We're going to get one of those holes in this family pretty soon too.

I think I'm fatigued too. Especially when I think about the four classes I have to teach tomorrow.

Happy Birthday to Meg!

the broken down barman said...

ive got a funny feeling ive heard this story before......

loud groans.......

Carole said...

Good times. When my son and his wife had a little boy yesterday, I hugged him and told him I hoped Xander would give him as many sleepless nights and he gave me. He didn't seem to appreciate the sentiment. I didn't tell him that a good share of those lost sleep times were delightful. He'll find out soon enough.

And I so are so much younger than we were at the same age...or so it seems.

Attila The Mom said...

Jiminey Christmas---where does the time fly!

Hope Rogan has a wonderful time. Aprica sounds like a dessert! LOL

Kim Ayres said...

Mary - who's leaving? Send me an email :)

Barman - ba-dum tish!

Carole - I was at least 18 years old when I was 13 and a half...
And congrats on the grannyhood again :)

Attila - it does fly - he'll be back in a couple of days!

Dave said...

My 14 year old turning 15 in about 2 weeks) is off to his first high school party. My memories flood back of my first. You know, the booze, cigies, girls in the closet, trouble all around and I loved it.
So I struggle with the knowledge that he is about to enter a place where I started to "roam" and falter.
Great post!
Great blog!
Big fan!

Mine is a Gin said...

How fabulous that he raised so much money for his trip. He'll appreciate it all the more for his efforts. I know you'll be missing him and you'll notice him having grown up a notch when he returns!

Kim Ayres said...

Dave - welcome to my ramblings and thank you for your warm comments :)

I shudder at the idea of being a teenager. I was so much happier once I hit my 20s

Mine is a Gin - great to hear from you again - long time no comments :)

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