Saturday, April 07, 2007

Blong Cuts

“Cu*t” said Dr Maroon as I walked into Cap’n Bobs to meet him for lunch.

“F*ck!” I replied.

“No you idiot, cu*t. Look, just get rid of the asterisk.”

“This is a family friendly blog,” I said, “there are parents and grandmothers reading this. I’m not going to allow foul language here. Keep it for Blunt Cogs.”

“Blunt Cogs is what I’m talking about.”

“And you still expect me to remove the asterisk?”

“For goodness sake, Ayres, trust me on this one.” Maroon looked at me firmly with those startlingly pale blue eyes of his and I felt my suspicions wavering.

“OK, Ack, but you’d better not let me down on this one. I’m going to remove the asterisks… now!”

“Cult,” he said.

I breathed a sigh of relief before asking, “What on earth are you on about?”

He then proceeded to tell me everything I need to know about how to turn Blunt Cogs around from a minor blog, with only handful of daily visits, into a major cult phenomenon. So over the next week or so I’m going to instigate some key changes, but in the spirit of “never apologise and never explain” this will be the last time I mention it.

He also told me where the Illuminati were going wrong and how I should be raising my children, but at that point he was beginning to froth slightly at the mouth so I just nodded politely.

He did, however, appreciate that once the asterisks had been removed he could see I had in fact been referring to Fock, the creator of Fock space, which is an algebraic system used in quantum mechanics to describe quantum states with a variable or unknown number of particles.

10 comments:

quinn said...

Good morning...I had to read this twice to really understand it but I think I get it now..and , well, I wish you the best of luck with your blog. It still sounds too complicated for my little pea brain. (Glad you discovered neither of you were actually saying what the other thought LOL).

Gyrobo said...

Can't you just have a single post that makes sense?!

Always with the frabble and the contrabbling monotables.

avocadoinparadise said...

I think I get it. You're planning to publicize your blunt cogs. So we should expect to see you on jay leno soon. Does this mean you'll spend less time here at the bearded ramblings site? (pout!)

PI said...

Quinn: don't want to boast but my pea is smaller than yours. Betcha!
'Pale blue eyes' you say. That's not giving much away. We would like a little more description - I'm sure I'm speaking for all the ladies. Well Sam anyway!

Binty McShae said...

Jeez... I'd better get my script-writing head back on.

Sayre said...

Ha! You had me going for a second there!

And good luck! I have no idea how to form a cult. Just don't hand out kool-aid...

Dr Maroon said...

check your email

redhead83402 said...

i have always quite liked that asterick ~ it provides such blind consideration. On the downside, however, there can arise a few misunderstandings... I suppose censorship just doesn't work afterall...... ahh well, the asterick DOES prevent red ears. at least ~ ( for polite society, anyway) ;-D
~Cara

Shebah said...

"startlingly pale blue eyes " Kim, you've wrecked my fantasy - unless that is a double bluff. I see him as having velvety liquid goldy browny eyes (rather like a benevolent lion). Of the sort I could drown in.

Dr Maroon said...

SheBah, you make me laugh you do, but in an exciting way.