The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

How Others See Us

There is often considerable difference between how we see ourselves and how others see us. This should not be much of a surprise given that we are party to all the internal dialogue that no one else is.

We know the entire debate and reasoning that goes on in our own heads before any given action, yet others will only see the outcome without knowledge of our calculations. We know we always intended to return the library book even if the librarian thinks we are the lowest kind of scum, intent on depriving society of its chance to enhance its culture and education.

Although this difference of personal view should be obvious, it isn’t. And sometimes we wonder how on earth people have reached certain conclusions about us when it is abundantly clear to us that our real selves are someone quite different.

For example, Attila the Mom recently wrote a piece about how her blogging buddies all share at least one quality with her dog (Cheaper than Therapy: Blog Pimpin’ With the Dogg). Where some were listed with qualities such as “best friend ever”, “loyal and kind” and “chases balls with a vengeance”, she had me down as “warm and fuzzy”.

There’s no doubt that this contrasts dramatically with my own vision of myself as a sort of cross between Batman and James Bond, with a little bit of George Clooney thrown in, who just took a different career path so didn’t end up with the same opportunities to express himself.

Hmmm…

18 comments

Attila The Mom said...

Good God, Man! Should I have made something up and wrote that you sniff butts (er---you don't, do you)?

I think you're warm because you always write encouraging and thoughtful comments on other people's blogs.

I can't tell you enough how one of these comments can completely turn my day around.

I think you're fuzzy because in every picture I've seen of you, you display quantities of facial hair. I suspect it might extend to your back, but I didn't want to be rude and mention it. ;-)

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Just don't break a leg, Attila might have to put you down.

If we accidentally let our inner voices become our outside voices the jails in my country and yours would be filled to capacity.

There is only one characteristic of a dog that I wish I had:)

Anonymous said...

You mean you don't want to be warm and fuzzy? How about reliable and keen? I think that would suit you well.

Incidently, I'm curious about which dog characteristic BStrong would like to have. My mind is boggled.

Kim Ayres said...

Atilla - butt-sniffing - no. Hairy back, not really. But I'm glad you like some of my comments :)

BStrong - is that the butt-sniffing?

Kate - reliable and keen - now that just makes me feel like an accountant, and kind of illustrates what I mean. In my head I'm dashing and heroic, but to other people I'm ...nice

quinn said...

WEll... I Dunno about which things you have in common with dogs...my 2 cents..( those are Canadian cents so really not worth much at all) ...I just want to hear more audio posts..of course it is because I always learn new things and love the way you write but mostly I want to hear them because I love your sexy accent.

Anonymous said...

Ok how about 'thought provoking', intelligent, witty, (I don't actually know many thought provoking, witty doggies), you see the qualities of doggies do tend to be dependable, reliable, good natured, you know the stuff.

Binty McShae said...

I have been pondering a post for a while about perceptions of fellow bloggers and how they fit with characters from films... Had you down as 'Kim Kong' - big and hairy yet sensitive.

Don't hate me for it...

Kim Ayres said...

Quinn & St Jude - sexy accent, witty, thought provoking and intelligent?

I'm a sucker for flattery and fall for it every time. I feel so much better this morning :)

Binty - After Quinn & St Jude's comments, I can easily interpret the idea of Kim Kong as hung-like-a-porn-star.

The compliments are good today.

Anonymous said...

I hate it when that self dialogue goes into overdrive.

Anonymous said...

"reliable and keen - now that just makes me feel like an accountant, "

Sorry :-( I do sympathise - I have never been able to convince anyone that I'm really a sultry vixen.

Open Grove Claudia said...

I sometimes wonder if I interact with actual people or with my version of those people who live in my head, thus myself. Sometimes the glimmer of a real person peeks through and I wonder who the hell that person is! lol!

Kim Ayres said...

Jo - for me it rarely stops

Kate - I never thought of you in any other way

OG Claudia - It's so true. How often do we get upset with people because they fail to live up to the kind of behaviour we expect from them. They are just being who they always were, regardless of the image we impose on them

Anonymous said...

A friend that I've know for years gave me Green Apple Martini Mixer for Christmas. It came with a shaker. I don't drink very much anymore, and definitely not Green Apple Martinis. I thought she knew me better. If it's the thought that counts, what does that say?

If I wasn't certain that I'd throw it back up, I'd try it.

I think I'd be a Labrador - like my Chip who retrieves sticks until he can't stand up anymore. Dogged determination

Stella said...

But Kim, you ARE nice - in a dashing and heroic way of course!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it strange how our vision differs from the way others see us?
I'm always surprised when I read/hear something about me - very seldom do people perceive me the way I think I am.

If you were to describe yourself, as a dog, what would you say?

Kim Ayres said...

Jupiter's Girl - we were kind of teasing Rogan a bit over Christmas by pointing out the number of people who had bought him shower gel and deoderant.

Stella - why thank you. You're always welcome here :)

Stinkpaw - welcome to my ramblings!

I'm really not sure what dog-like qualities I have. My wife might point out my tendency to crap on pavements and try and shag people's legs, but I think she just misreads the situation...

Real Girl755 said...

Warm and fuzzy... And sweet. It does fit you... I mean, my thought with the sweet was a teddy bear... You know, ferocious on the outside, full of soft on the inside?

Um... Emphasis on the "ferocious" in this post. ^_^

Kim Ayres said...

RealGirl755 - :)

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