If you read the previous post "Get your facts right before you racially abuse someone..." then you will know that I enjoy reading the Court Files section of the freebie paper we get through our door each week - the Dumfries Courier.
Most of the time it contains entries that reflect the seriously sad and empty lives of those appearing in it. For example, this week there is mention of Charles Rogerson, a 32 year old man who was charged at Dumfries Sheriff Court for stealing 2 bottles of Vodka.
Every now and then a wee gem of attempted creativity threatens to break through. I loved this one:
A 22 year-old motorist was reminded in custody by the Sheriff [local magistrate] at Dumfries on Friday accused of driving while unfit through use of drink or drugs, driving carelessly and colliding with a fence, a car and then a cycle.
Thomas McClure of Summerville Crescent, Dumfries, pleaded not guilty to committing the offence on Thursday at Margaret Walk in the town.
He also denied driving while disqualified, failing to provide a breath test, using a car without insurance and attempting to pervert the course of justice by leaving the site, changing the top he was wearing and telling the police he had been in bed.
I can only guess that as he was in court to answer these charges, that his cunning plan of changing his shirt wasn't enough to fool our local constabulary