The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

The Messiah Complex

Following my post Wasn't I Supposed to be Somewhere Else?, I decided to write a bit about the Messiah Complex - the feeling that somehow you are supposed to be saving mankind.

I sat at my laptop and wrote the first line:
Am I supposed to be the saviour of mankind, or am I deluded?
I had every intention of doing a deep, thoughtful and meaningful piece, but before I knew what had happened, the second line flowed out of my fingertips:

According to my Messiah’s Handbook, to doubt one’s divinity is a necessary crisis for any would-be Saviour to work His way through
Well, what could I do, but carry on writing and see where it went?

By the end I had written a short monologue that lasts about four and a half minutes, so I recorded it.

The audio blogs I recorded before have been stored in 2 different ways. The first two I used which opens in a new window and plays in a page full of advertising. The last one I did was stored at and links directly to the mp3 file (it's about 4MB big).

If one doesn't work for you then try the other

Let me know what you think of the story, and which format, if either, you prefer so that I know which to use in future.

Following Merle's request in the comments, you can find a transcript of The Messiah Complex here


Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Wow, Kim. Although I gather I'm not the first to say it, your voice is not what I expected at all. You've told us before it's not a Scottish accent you have, but although I believed it, I actually didn't.

The Messiah Complex was fun. Good one!

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I used Supload, BTW.

sarah said...

nice. you should have a job reading for audio books, you've the voice for it. good inflection.

Laurie said...

HI Kim,

I found you via Admiral pooper scooper. I really enjoyed it. You have a great radio voice and I liked the cleverness in the piece.

Kim Ayres said...

Sam PCB - It seems that everyone has been expecting the Scottish accent. I wonder how many readers I've lost because they've been disappointed.

Sarah - thank you. If you're ever needing an English voice-over at work, let me know - I could do with the extra income.

Laurie - welcome to my ramblings! And with flattery like that you're welcome back as often as possible :)

merle said...

Hi Kim,
I've never commented before, but I have been reading for a while now. Actually I have read it all (with comments - I think you were saying there a while ago about not having massive amount of comments, but I find that the ones you do get are actually worth reading, not like many other blogs out there). It was a really sad day when I caught up with current posts, I knew that from then on I would have to wait a day or few to read something new.
Now comes my problem, I use the internet at work and I can't listen to your blog - too noisy and people keep distracting, so I was hoping you could still write as well, please, (I couldn't see the Messiah Complex anywhere, which of course doesn't mean it's not there, sometimes I just miss the obvious).
Sorry for babbling too long, but it's my first ever comment anywhere.

Ronnie said...

Thoroughly enjoyable Kim.I listened on the 2nd one.Great voice ,by the way,if all Scots spoke like you,life would be a lot easier.

Kim Ayres said...

Merle - I was going to say Welcome to my Ramblings, but it looks like you've been here a while :)

So you've read all of them? Wow. That must have been some task!

I feel quite honoured that you've chosen me to be the first time you comment. I hope it's not your last.

I didn't publish The Messiah Complex in written format because it wasn't really a blog entry in the way that they usually are - it was a piece of fiction. OK, sometimes I exaggerate for literary effect, but my entries are usually based in truth.

OK then Merle, just for you - if you'd like to click here, then it'll take you to the written version - let me know how you get on with it.

Ronnie - Thank you. Although if all Scots sounded like me it would be a dull place.

Actually my wife has the loveliest voice - soft Southern Scottish accent - very easy on the ear and a pleasure to listen to. One day I'll try and talk her into recording something

SafeTinspector said...

I forgot to listen at home. And I have no sound at this machine.
I'll try back later.

merle said...

thank you.
Got on just fine :)

I think I can see why you wanted to put it on audio foremostly (is that a word?). As I was reading I could almost hear it (for some reason with voices from the Hitchhikers Guide to Galaxy CD, not sure what's up with that)

Anyway, had to say thank you for adding it here just for me :)
Don't think I should try to comment again though, besides of not having that much to say (although you might not think that from the way I carry on) it is taking me forever to write (and edit) one.

Kate said...

Kim, this is brilliant! It's wonderfully written, and you read it so well.

Oh, I used the first link, it worked fine.

Kim Ayres said...

SafeTinspector - ok

Merle - I loved the H2G2 radio series, and I had the LP for a while too. It probably has influenced me on some level.

Do comment again - your thoughts are just as valid and welcome as anyone else's. It's always good to get feedback from people who read my writings, even if it's just a smile :)

Kate - thank you. I think I'll probably stick to the system as people have the option to download the file too.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I read Merle's comment and was filled with shame. You see, I can't remember to whom I lost my comment cherry. I can't. It was a big deal at the time, I know that much, but... well...I guess somewhere along the line I became the kind of blogger I hoped I'd never be. I'm nothing but a loose comment floosie now.

Anonymous said...

Kim, you voice, oh your voice....I am captivated by that voice. It is not at all what I expected.

It always amazes me how clearly people who speak the English language in other countries pronounce words, no slang, as there is in common conversation here in the states.

You are an amazing storyteller! Wonderful. I enjoyed Mouse Slayer as well.

sarah said...

i will let the powers that be (Creative Services) know. ah the power of the internet.. gotta love it!

Binty McShae said...

Woooaaahhh!!! Hearing your voice is kind of freaky...!

Kim Ayres said...

Sam PCB - My very first comment was on a friend's blog, but my I remember my 1st real comment on another site was anonymous because I was too nervous to use my name.

Oh those naive, youthful days of 12 months ago...

RNP - So far I have only had 2 people say my voice was more or less as they expected - Sarah and SafeTinspector. Everyone else has been quite surprised.

Sarah - if you want to act as my agent, and get me plenty of voice-over jobs, I'm sure we can work out a 10% fee or something...

Binty - well, if we do ever get together for that pint then you'll have less to be freaked out about now, as you know what I look and sound like.

You, on the other hand, I have a sneaking suspicion will be female with a Welsh accent...

Jupiter's Girl said...

Very funny, Kim. Thanks for putting the link in for reading.

In conclusion, do you or don't you have a Messiah Complex? I promise, it won't matter to me either way.

Kim Ayres said...

Well I definitely have a B12 deficiency...

Jason (aka Connor) said...

Kim, I have read and listened to a fair few now. I must admit I often feel somewhat shamed by my lack of effort towards creativity and thinking of issues larger than myself or my life. Your blog is doing this to me once again. It's not a bad thing though.

The voice: exactly as I expect it to be :)

"The Messiah Complex" is to me a wonderul piece of amusing and entertaining creativity that sparks intrigue as to just how many 'pounds' of thought you must produce for each 'pound' of mine.

It also brings back memories of childhood caravan holidays where my dad would put on the radio once we children were tucked up in bed (we didn't listen to radio at bedtime at home). There would be the soft roaring of the gas lamp while the soft tones of the radio presenters would discuss issues far beyond the comprehension of a 6 year old as I was at the time. For some reason it was one of the most comforting and relaxing things ever known to me. It is something I had forgotten for many years until listeneing to this. Thanks for bringing back an obscure but very fond memory whilst creating a brand new memory to smile back at in years to come.

All-in-all... marvellous! I shall be catching up with the rest of your blog during my regular pre-bedtime surfs. It's the first blog I've found that makes me want to read on.

BTW - I used the 'MyFileHut' link due to the lack of advertising. It downloaded to my desktop, automatically added itself to my iTunes library and then dutifully played itself. How cool? Maybe it's just the Apple thing.

PS. I look forward very much to the possibility that one day we may chance to spend a long evening swapping perspectives around a campfire or even a banquet table. I see many things just the same way as you appear to but on the other hand my sense of perspective is somewhat opposed to yours. It could make for an interesting discussion I'm sure.

PPS. First time comment, and yes it does take a while... but then it is a rather big comment :)

Kim Ayres said...

Jason - welcome to my ramblings and thank you for your warm words about my blog and this post.

I look forward to the opportunity to discuss the universe at length with you - in front of a fire sounds like an ideal place :)

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