The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

This is for you

You know, you can do it.

Yes, I mean you. You reading this. Stop thinking for a moment that I’ve written this for someone else. I haven’t. This is for you.*

I know you have your doubts. I know you think the time probably isn’t right. But when is the time ever right? It’s just an excuse anyway. It’s just your fears talking, not the real, wonderful, incredible you.

There’s a quote by Woody Allen, which I always loved, where he says, “The only thing standing between me and greatness... is me.” And there’s a real truth in that.

You can be more. You don’t have to hold back, living in fear of all the things that might go wrong.

The biggest battles you’ll ever face are not with the problems and obstacles in your way, but with yourself – your own fear is all that is truly stopping you.

You can do it. You are a warm and wonderful human being. And you are far more capable than you think you are.

And you know what?

I believe in you.

Yes I do.

I know underneath all those insecurities, those worries, those fears, lies someone who is capable of creating the world they really want.

OK, you have that darker side to you, the one you try to keep hidden. And you fear if people knew who you really were they couldn’t like you, couldn’t love you.

But that’s not what defines you. You are so much more than that. Sure it’s one aspect of who you are, but it is by no means the only aspect, and certainly not the defining one.

We are multiple and complex beings with many different sides to our personalities.

What is important is not that we have these aspects to us, but how we decide to use them; which ones dominate in a given situation.

Yes, you have these parts of yourself you don’t like, but you also have parts other people love. And these are just as important. More important.

And you are loved.

Whether you believe you deserve it or not.

And you do deserve it.

You are wonderful.

And I believe in you.

Feel it.

Know it.

You are worthy.

And you can make a difference.

So go ahead and make it happen!

*yes, I do mean you


BreMarie said...

Thank you for this. You don't know me and I don't know you, but I read your blog often and this post truely touched me.

Thank you

Dan said...

*Stands up, tears off shirt, and screams out massive war cry*

Hang on, what is it I'm actually meant to be doing?

I was just going to have a bath. Was that it? I'm pretty good at that though, but it's nice to know that you have faith in me anyway mate.

thingy said...

That's a nice thought. I've visited your blog a few times and you seem to have a good heart. (you also have a wonderful blog lay-out)'s not true what you say. Not everyone is loved. Not everyone has a place in this world.
I am old enough to realize that now.

It hurts.
The truth does hurt.

Carole said...

I need to read this every morning. So excuse me while I print it off and laminte it.

Thrup'ny bits said...

Thank you for the positive affirmation, Kim . . .


thingy said...

P.S. Don't read anything into what I said. I sound morbid and I guess I shouldn't rain on your nice thoughts.

: )

Stephanie said...

See now, you went and made me cry. Thank you so much Kim for these words of encouragement. How did you know this was what I needed to hear today?
I am printing this sweet note right now and placing it in my journal.
thank you!

Fay's Too said...

Thanks so much for writing to me personally. Your message is right on time and right on! Thank you.
And yes, Thingie. . . everyone is loved.

Kim Ayres said...

BreMarie - I'm glad it meant something to you - you deserve it :)

Dan - you can have that bath. Don't be held back by fears and doubts. Embrace it, enjoy it and be empowered by it!

Thingy - did I say this was written for "everyone"? It was written for you. Go back and re-read it for you :)

Carole - never forget I believe in you :)

Alan - nae bother pal :)

Stephanie - you are wonderful and amazing :)

Fay - you are worthy, and you deserve it :)

mapstew said...

Thanks pal!

You know I always have to have a little chat with myself (along these lines) before I get up in front of the punters! And it works.

There was a time many years ago when I got so afraid I just walked off stage, and it took a long time to get my confidence back.

But I did get it back, with encouragement not unlike that which you have offered!

So thanks again!


Brenda Grolle said...

What a wonderful post! Thank you!

Tiffin said...

Sometimes we have to give that Woody Allen self a punch in the nose to get the jerk out of the way. Or read a post full of kindness to flip the switch to light from dark.

Ruth Laura. said...

Thank you so much for this.

I am a third year philosophy student, currently painfully revising for my January finals.

It was exactly what I needed to hear.

Thank you.

Postman said...

Well, that tears it. I'm going to effing publish this novel of mine if it kills me. Critics be hanged. Thanks for posting.

Helen said...

Hey Bearded One - today just might be the day when I take over the world! I'd been putting it off just in case everybody else didn't recognise how wonderful and special I am - but thanks to you, I can see world domination before lunch tomorrow. (wild cackle etc)....

Miss Blue Sky said...

Awww, thanks Kim! I have a TMA due in a couple of weeks and that has made me feel a lot better :)
I'm still laughing at Dan's comment!

Stella said...

Wow!!! Thanks Kim : )

Pat said...

Thank you Kim. I consider myself lucky to have had a face to face endorsement from you:)

hope said...

Wow! I'm going to consider this my pre-birthday present. I'd say, "You shouldn't have" but I'm really glad you did.

You're a good man. And we love you for it!

savannah said...

thank you, sugar! and as we say around heah backatcha, darlin! ;~D xoxoxox

V said...

Most days I would agree with you. Today is not one of them....unless it comes with some of those M&S parsnips.....

Katie Roberts said...

I hope you are reading this for yourself too Kim! Every parent should tell their children this, its like a life-raft for the dark stormy bits. (thanks for spreading it around Kim)

Anna said...

i hope upon reading this, you also wrote this for yourself.
it was comforting, thank you.
i wish you and your family well. :)

Eryl Shields said...

This sounds so like the start of a novel I'd love to read. Get writing.

As of this evening I consist mostly of Nigella Lawson's chocolate peanut butter sundae sauce.

thingy said...

Ooh, for me alone.

Why, thank-you.

Lovely, lovely. : )

Jayne Martin said...

I love this. Thank you. I feel hugged.

bonequinhoda bic said...

Kim , in these last couple of days and especially today i´ve been thinking on how selfish, hollow and shallow people really are (This includes me !).Than you appear with this great post...Thank you for this Kim !

Sayre said...

Lovely. And I needed that. Thanks.

Stinkypaw said...

THank you, I needed that tonight...

Kim Ayres said...

Mapstew - you're the man!

Brenda - no, thank you for taking the time to read it and respond!

Tiffin - we have these dark sides to us all, but it doesn't have to define you - you are so much more!

Ruth - If you have survived 2 and a half years of philosophy already, then there's serious proof you are a wonderful and capable person!

Postman - go for it! You are worth it :)

Helen - you'll get my vote!

Layla - you are living proof of this - you have shown time and time again just how incredible you are, how much you can achieve when you don't let those fears stop you. You are wonderful, Layla :)

Stella - you deserve it and I'm with you all the way!

Pat - I'm the lucky one, Pat, to have enjoyed your blogging friendship over the years, and meeting you was the absolute icing on the cake :)

Hope - Happy Birthday for when it arrives! You've survived another year, and that shouldn't be underestimated. Make sure you pamper yourself :)

Savannah - thank you, you are wonderful :)

V - today is especially one of them. This is the time you railed against the universe and stood your ground. You have my respect and admiration.

Katie - there will come a time when I will be glancing back over previous posts and stumble across it and be able to read it fresh again, where it will have maximum impact. Thank you for thinking of me :)

Anna - thank you :) And I like the way you question the universe - it's too easy just to accept the norm, but it takes real strength to question

Eryl - aaaarggle... slobber... but you so deserve it, and I am so happy you're home again and recovering :)

Thingy - thank you for coming back :)

Jayne - Here are some more: ((hugs)) :)

Bonequinhoda Bic - people are more selfish when they live in fear. But you are someone who likes to educate and entertain people, and that makes you a special person :)

Sayre - you're worth it!

Stinkypaw - you deserve it :)

Library girl said...

Oh I soooooo needed to hear that today:) My sincere thanks. Beautifully written and perfectly timed.

Mimi and Tilly said...

I love this post. You write so openly. I hear you and am feeling the love. (Big smile, gives self a cuddle).

Chrissie B said...

How wonderful. Thank you!

Falak said...

It was the perfect end to a not so great day. Thanks a million! :):):)

Chocolatesa said...

What if I don't want greatness? What if I don't know what I want?

The Pollinatrix said...

This is wonderful. Thank you.

I'm curious what inspired you to write this. But if you want to leave that a mystery, that's ok too.

Erin said...

Wow, Kim. Thank you! I have felt myself begin to regress painfully and slowly since I learned of Sang's death. These were the kinds of words that he would tell me when I felt useless and unworthy. Hearing them again, even from someone else, is a breath of fresh air caught at the perfect time.

Thank you for writing a post so
bold and truthful.

Anonymous said...

Excellent, Kim. I will be linking this into a future post.


Charlie said...

You just said in a few words what it takes a shrink several years to get around to. Thanks, Kim.

snoble24 said...

thank you. i was haveing some hard times feeling this exact way that no one can love me becuase of the bad things .ok there has been a few who has but they have not been easy to get ahold of when i need them. my fiance who ok granted i have problems with but i think he loves me well right now hes in the hospital in a coma so it kinda feels like god is playing a cosmic joke on me anyone who gets me and loves me for me ends up disapeering from my life. then i get the assholes who dont get me kinda thing so i kinda been feeling no one will love me for me or understand me. but youve given me confidence thanks

linea said...

First time visiting your blog and what a beautiful post to read! Made me feel so good I might have to come back and read more! Or even just read it again. Thanks!

expat@large said...

Kym, that's a great inspirational post and it even had the eternal grumpy old clown (me) thinking deeply for once.

Yes I can do it, you are so right.


"You talkin' to ME?" LOL says the Taxi Driver!.

OK I knew I couldn't stay serious too long!


Keep backing me up, man!

erika said...

I was so happy to read this post. Not just because I liked the affirmation and encouragement but also because you sound so convincing that you must beleive that it applies to you as well. You are loved indeed.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know that there's an award for you on my site. : )

Mary Witzl said...

I believe this, more or less -- most of the time. But I absolutely believe it after my first cup of coffee.

Off to get that coffee...

Kim Ayres said...

Library Girl - thank you - and you deserve it!

Mimi & Tilly - wonderful :)

Chrissie - thank you

Falak - it's because of not so great days we need to be reminded. Remember: you are wonderful :)

Chocolatesa - then set yourself the task of finding out what it is you want. This year could be devoted to finding out what drives you, what your passions really are - however large, or small. If you don't know, then find out. You can, you know. The fears don't have to stop you. Inside you have great warmth and strength. I believe in you :)

Pollinatrix - I was on the phone to a friend who called me because she needed a pep talk, and I realised what I was telling her was more or less what I tell everyone who needs it. Sometimes we need to hear someone else tell us that it's ok to be us, and that our demons are not what defines us. Sometimes we need permission to feel good about ourselves. So I thought I would tell you :)

Erin - thank you, for taking the time to respond. Absorb these words then, Erin. Whether from me, Sang or anyone else, these words are for you :)

Barbara - do let me know when you do. You're a wonderful person who cares and goes out of your way to help others :)

Charlie - is it any surprise when they get paid by the hour? But you, Charlie, are a truly wonderful and amazing person. And you have made a difference to my life.

Snoble24 - under the fears and frustrations, your heart is in the right place and you are worthy of love :)

Linea - welcome to my ramblings, and thank you for taking the time to leave such warm words :)

Expat - scroll back a few posts and you'll find you don't have a monopoly on being a tetchy, grumpy bastard, but it's not what defines you. You can do it, man :)

Erika - I believe what I'm telling you completely. Should I be listening to my own words? Of course. At some time in the future, I'll stumble across this post again, only then it will be fresh to me and will have most impact :)

~:C:~ - thank you - I'll be across shortly to take a look :)

Mary - coffee or not, you are a wonderful person. And you make damn fine coffee too :)

The Pollinatrix said...

Well, Kim, I'm really glad you did post this. It was very timely for me, as I've been quite deliberately facing some of my "demons," to let that dark side be less hidden, at least to myself, to integrate it rather than deny it. Thanks again.

Lisa E said...

thank you

Chocolatesa said...

It seems I've been trying to do that all my life. All the guidance counsellors or orientation classes at school didn't help. I gave up a few years ago, decided to stop worrying about it. But thanks :)

Kim Ayres said...

Pollinatrix - when we name our demons and place them out in the open, we discover they are much smaller than we thought they were

Lisa E - thank you :)

Chocolatesa - if you've given up worrying about it, why did you raise the question? School guidance councillors and advisors, and orientation classes always managed to draw a blank with me. It's only in the last couple of years I've really started to understand what really drives and motivates me. In fact, I recently stumbled across a post I wrote almost exactly 2 years ago called, "What to expect from blogging" where I outline what I get out of writing. But the same thing applies to my photography, and when I taught philosophy classes. It's so fundamentally me, I didn't notice it - in the same way we rarely notice we breathe. Your passions and motivations are there, close to the surface, but if you decide you can't find them, you won't. But you can if you want. If you decide to keep going until you get there, you will get there. You are stronger and more capable than you realise :)

Chocolatesa said...

Well my logic was that I understood your initial post to be saying "don't be afraid to do what you want to do", but how can I be afraid of doing something if I don't know what to do? lol :P Anyways thank you for the encouragement :) I actually have started thinking about that again recently with my impending divorce, now that I won't be an army wife after all.

Sayre said...

Kim, this touched me to the point that I forwarded it to a friend of mine who is in need of encouragement. I did credit you and included a link to your blog. I hope you don't mind. I found your words to be just what I needed to hear just when I needed to hear it the most.

Thank you.

Kim Ayres said...

Chocolatesa - it can't be an easy time for you - I hope you have a good support network around you

Sayre - thank you for your warm words :)

Chocolatesa said...

I do, thanks :)

Anez said...

I wasnt online almost a week and I missed this post when It came Up!! Kim thanks for posting!!
I love reading all of your post....
Your a gift to this world...well the blogging world and those around u in the least!
I really love the fact that I have a privilidge to know even a small part about a person like U !!!
*Starry eyed* I think Im in Love ;) he he hehehe keep it up ..keep the post coming !
THANK YOU!!!!...soooo Damn much!

Helen's Angel said...

Kim, this is fab. Are you feeling more optimistic yourself? I have referenced this post in my own blog. I hope you don't mind.

Susan O said...

Thank you again. It was like you wrote that just for me.

I will listen to it often because it will remind me that God wants me to live my life abundently!

From across the ocean.

Susan O

Kim Ayres said...

Chocolatesa - :)

Anez - you're good for a midddle-aged man's ego :)

Helen - I'm honoured, thank you :)

Susan O - you won't find much in the way of god reminders on this site as I'm a confirmed athiest (feel free to check posts under the labels "religion", or "If there is a god I'm doomed"). However, the message is a personal one to whoever listens to it and I'm pleased you found it meaningful :)

LegalMist said...

Thanks, Kim. I needed that. :)

Kim Ayres said...

LegalMist - anytime :)

Hindsfeet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hindsfeet said...

re-read this air to good for my soul, all over again....

so thanks, again.

Judith Morris said...

Kim, I'm new to blogging and found your post via Helen Mac's site. What you say is so true, but not many people are bold enough to say it. Over the years I have begun to realise that self-belief is the key to success and contentment in equal measures. I have a friend who needs to hear these words at the moment so I shall send her the link.

Kim Ayres said...

Welcome to my ramblings, Judith, and thank you for your warm words :)

Hindsfeet said...

.....with all my heart, thank you, Kim.......

warmest always,
Liz ~*

Kim Ayres said...

Liz - it's always here for you :)

Kristi Kennington said...

Happy swollen feet and ankles to me...and to you...about your "you can do it pist"
I know iccan...I kbow to the miles I have crossed in this art studio I reside within...I tell my self daily...and do my best. And when it all turns in on its ass and my scene flips to anew cliff from which to peer...I am still and ok stilk! old mode and preventing critical consideration and contemplation time of what you have been being!!! Recluse of doing

White dog! Dooky! Looks weird...but thats what it did!! The dog doo dooed, dropped it and tried to cover it up by and by, by scratching at the surface nearby vigorously with his hind legs...ole silly doG backs his ass up to area of poodom while tagging the grass and dirt, but?! Never looking to see if he's been a successfull poodom coverer. He just runs away after a brief surface crumbing ritual...oblivious to the onlookers and passers by, but! One little poo del doggy dogdess sure did do'ed it to his member as she parlayed pooDel style across the way from his dooky do do do spot. So off he went ....with quite a nice tent popping up for his hardness swelling in anti-cipation of her

Thanks yall..what a lovely crew! Yall tune it to sell it...yah!! Way off the pew...I go!

Mmmmm...88 :-D. Love veers!!!

Kristi Kennington said...

Oh...I forgot one littl thingy....when u deserve a are actually
De Serving yourself within your use of a deserving mindset!!

Careful jest mite be
Tyme to read.....a bit deeper or not?!
Or or or DO. Who cares "to be" will Become you! Doggonedaggit..Follows no one!
Actualy...I am kin to ken: =to know.

Have fun....hun! Appreciate att empts

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