Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Wealth Beyond Measure

What follows is a lie and you shouldn’t believe a word of it.

But I don’t want you to think of it like that, rather I want you to believe it, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in this world it’s hope that drives us forward and makes us RICH BEYOND MEASURE.

And who wouldn’t want to be rich beyond measure? In fact most of us would happily settle for measured riches too.

So with that in mind I want to tell you of a programme whereby you can become fabulously WEALTHY with virtually no effort.

Sound too good to be true? Yet there are people all over the world who earn MORE MONEY IN A SINGLE MONTH than we could hope to spend in a lifetime.

Think what you could do with all that money – huge mansion with a home cinema, swimming pool and fabulous views; holiday homes in the Bahamas, European cities and mountain retreats; your own Porsche, Ferrari, Winnebago, Jeep and Aston Martin with all the James Bond gadgets sitting in your driveway.

And you could make sure your LOVED ONES would want for nothing. Your kids would go to the BEST SCHOOLS and universities in the world.

You could make massive donations to all the important causes you believe in.

You could mix with the RICH and POWERFUL of the world and influence the big decision makers.

This programme could make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.

How much would something like this be worth to you?

If it cost you a million dollars but allowed you to make $10 million, $100 million even a BILLION DOLLARS, then it would be a bargain, right?

What if it cost less than a million?

What if it cost less than a hundred thousand?

What if it cost less than $10,000?

Wow. How idiotic would you have to be to pass up the OPPORTUNITY to have hundreds of millions of dollars, all for less than $10,000?

What if I was to tell you that for a mere $7, 350 I would give you the SECRETS TO UNLOCK THE WEALTH OF THE WORLD?

But we can take this further.

If you invite a friend to sign up and they join the programme then I’ll knock a thousand dollars off the price.

Invite 2 and I’ll knock off a further $1,000. I’ll do this for up to 6 friends, and 6 friends only, so you need to think carefully about whom you want to get involved in this.

You could not only make your millions, but SAVE a massive $6,000 RIGHT NOW by helping those nearest and dearest to you to become fabulously wealthy too!

So what do you need to do to gain these UNTOLD RICHES for a little over a thousand dollars?

Send me a check or deposit $7,350 into my PayPal account and I will send you the SECRETS to gaining a GREATER WEALTH than you can possibly imagine.

Make sure your friends let me know it was YOU who sent them and for each one who signs up I will send you a check for $1,000. That’s right – you gain ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS for EVERY FRIEND who signs up. But no more than 6 friends, right? We don’t want to let everyone in on our secret.

Feel a bit uncertain? There’s no need. Listen to these testimonials.

Kim, how can I ever thank you enough? Thanks to your programme my wife and I have given up our jobs, put our kids through Harvard and enjoy skiing in Switzerland all winter long.” ...Mark Davies

Not only do I have more money than I can throw in my Olympic-sized swimming pool, but so do my brother and his family, my parents and my best friend from high-school. You are the Man!” ...Andrew Gillespie

Fiona and I are getting married in September and I hope you’ll join us as our guest of honour. We very nearly split up when I was worrying every day about my minimum-wage job, realising that I would never be able to give her the life she deserves. But now we’re to have a fairy-tale wedding with over a thousand guests. And it’s all thanks to you and your extraordinary programme for making money.” ...Jason Anderson

But I need to warn you that this offer is TIME LIMITED.

I am only opening my unique money making offer to the first 500 people to sign up. After that it CLOSES FOREVER. Already I have had 328 people on my books who have been pleading with me to pass on my secret to them, so this offer won’t last long.

If you want the wealth of a lifetime you have to ACT NOW.

CLICK HERE right now and deposit your investment to secure your place on the programme.

If you’re still hesitating, then don’t bother. Stop right now. UNTOLD RICHES are not for you. Not everyone is capable of dealing with so much money. If you think you can’t handle it, then don’t sign up. I don’t need time wasters and I certainly don’t want to ruin anybody’s life with TOO MUCH MONEY.

So only if you’re ready for more money you can dream of, and then some, CLICK HERE. But only if you’re sure.

Once you CLICK HERE, there is no going back. Your life will change forever. Do not CLICK HERE if you are not ready.

But if you are, then don’t hang about because there are plenty of others signing up as you read this, and spaces are LIMITED.

CLICK HERE NOW!

And I look forward to welcoming you to the MULTI-MILLIONAIRE’S CLUB by the end of next month.

15 comments:

Mary Witzl said...

Tee hee! I really don't want it. But I was tempted to click in all those places just to see what might reveal itself...

Jupiter's Girl said...

Do you take credit cards? I hope I'm not too late.

ArleneWKW said...

There's a guy from Nigeria who's been trying to get me to help him transfer huge sums of money to the U.S. He tells me that I'll get to keep a substantial amount of it. I've forwarded your name and blog site to him. You can thank me later.

Monstee said...

We all have our Internet scams... er, businesses. Hope you get more from yours than me did from Monstee's Discount Cave of Porn.

Julie said...

Too funny, Kim. I had to "click here" just to see what would happen -- It's the first time I've done that since I started worrying about computer viruses.

Thank goodness that I wasn't overwhelmed with pop-up ads. Thanks for the morning laugh.

Mary Witzl said...

I had to go back and click, even though I had read the first line and taken it in -- honest!

I played a similar trick on my students once, giving them a long, detailed, luridly illustrated sheet of information, the first line of which was pretty much your first line. They slogged through the whole thing earnestly, having failed to notice that insidious first line, and great fun was had by teacher, but oh, the baleful looks I got afterwards. They still haunt me.

Sayre said...

There really is such a thing as TOO MUCH MONEY! All you have to do is look at Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsey Lohan, and any number of other people who can't figure out what to do with their lives. If everything is handed to you, what do you have that's worth anything?

Little sausage said...

Absolutely hilarious! Brilliant post. I could really do with some money though Kim...

Kim Ayres said...

Writing this post appealed to me on a number of levels:

Our default is to believe something told to us is true unless we have become completely jaded and cynical with life - and even then we can still hold out a vague hope for something different

We're very good at forgetting the beginnings of sentences, expecially when we want something to be true.

Even if we tell ourselves we know it cannot be true, we will still be very tempted to click, just in case.

Anything that precedes a "But" gets comfortably ignored, because what follows a "But" usually contradicts what went before it. For example, "I'm not a racist, sexist bastard, but..."

I have received so many of these things in my inbox I wondered if I could write one.

When I read it back after writing it, part of me desperately wanted it to turn out to be true

Mary Witzl said...

"We're very good at forgetting the beginnings of sentences, expecially when we want something to be true."

Like my kids when I saw "If you clean your rooms, I'll bake chocolate chip cookies." I swear they never hear the first part of the sentence.

PI said...

Being a woman I went back and clicked. I hope it worked ie makes people realise the dangers of gullibility and greed. One of my friends in the States recently fell for a scam and tells me she lost her retirement savings.

Kim Ayres said...

Mary - mmmmmm... chocolate chip cookies...

Pat - I read your post on that and it was one of the things that contributed to me thinking about writing this.

Kanani said...

Ha! Love this. I knew you'd come up with something clever.

BStrong said...

You're staying up to late watching senseless television.

Have you checked your PayPal account lately?

Great stuff.

BStrong said...

LIAR LIAR! I want my Freakin money back!!! If you don’t give it to me, I’ll come over there and take care of you with my all-in-one turkey baster, screwdriver, thermometer, tweezer keychain.