For those who have been reading this blog since as far back as last September, you’ll know that it’s not uncommon for me to find amusement in the stupidity of the local criminals – or at least the ones stupid enough to get caught (see Get Your Facts Right Before You Racially Abuse Someone... and More From the Court Files) and find their sorry tales written up in the local freebie paper, the Dumfries Courier.
One of this week’s tales of idiocy concerned a local man who screwed up when he filled his stolen car with petrol on the outskirts of Dumfries, without realising that it was in fact a diesel powered vehicle. Consequently he hadn’t got far before the car broke down and he abandoned it.
A quick look at the CCTV tapes from the local garages revealed the identity of the car thief and he was arrested soon after. As he had previously been banned from driving, he was already on police records.
However, what really made me smile was that it went on to say how the thief had been battling drugs misuse for the past 12 years and that:
Two days before the car theft, he went to hospital for help and was given medication. He took it all at once and as a result had no clear recollection of what had taken place…
You shouldn’t laugh really. No, really, you shouldn’t. Really…
...but I can snicker a little bit, can't I?
ReplyDeletebwahahaha!
Who fills up a stolen vehicle with gas these days anyway? What with the prices so high and all. I steer clear of cars myself, they interfere with my drug taking.
ReplyDeletePetrol in a Diesel.
ReplyDeleteEven if it worked, he'd be missing out on all those mileage benefits. The foold
It is nice to know that the idiocy is not just on this side of the ocean.
ReplyDeleteButrkp
Atilla - bwahahaha - you took the words right out of my mouth!
ReplyDeleteJagd - if you're in the US, then you ought to know that your petrol prices are still half what they are over here - almost $8 a gallon.
SafeTinspector - this guy was clearly knot the sharpest knife in the drawer
Butrkp - welcome to my ramblings. Is this your first time to this site, or just the first time you've commented?
Know, he was knot.
ReplyDeleteI'm no yankee, Sir. But where I am the price is nearing $1.80 a litre. What is more disturbing is that people buy bottled water from gas-stations for 2 dollars a litre!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time. Came to you through happykat but stayed for your ramblings.
ReplyDeleteButrkp
Two days before the car theft, he went to hospital for help and was given medication. He took it all at once and as a result had no clear recollection of what had taken place…
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA! What... what... hahahaha...
What if thehehehe the medication was 2 week of suppositories!
Stupid criminal!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't he know that when your stolen ride runs out of fuel that you just ditch it and steal another one?!??!
criminals these day! *throws up hands*
No ambition! *tsk tsk*
SafeTinspector - who needs a spell checker when I have other bloggers who can do it for me?
ReplyDeleteJagd - where are you based then? Or is that confidential information?
Butrkp - I hope you like what you find. Any plans to start your own blog?
Monstee - my buttocks are clenching as I write...
HappyKat - they obviously haven't been trained up to your exacting standards. Perhaps you should start running apprenticeships.
WV: wejog - a little run?
Quick! Someone sterilize him before he breeds! HE HE.
ReplyDeleteit is confidential, but that simian detective the japing ape figured it out.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the milky way.
The asteroid-veldt.
I am liking! Am giving serious thought to, well semi serious thought, ok never a serious thought,it.
ReplyDeleteButrkp
Butrkp
ReplyDeletedON'T DO IT.
Ah what the Hell, jump in . You're only here the once.
Your thief fits the profile of Keith Richards. He fell out of a tree, you know. A concussion was involved, but I am unclear about who suffered it: Keith, or the ground he landed on.
ReplyDeleteRichards: "What tree? What drugs?"
Nikki - well I wouldn't have thought he'd have made the most attractive proposition for mating with.
ReplyDeleteJagd - aye, he's a canny one that ape is.
Butrkp - well if you set yourself up with a blogger profile first, then you'llbe able to comment on sites that don't allow anonymous comments, and you can give thought to your blog at leisure.
Dr Maroon - and before you know it, Butrkp will be complaining that it's taken over too much of his/her life, but that s/he is completely addicted.
Admiral - you coud be on to something there...
What an idiot. I despair! Really! Are there no intelligent criminals left?
ReplyDeleteYes there are Stella, but we don't get to read about them because they're smart enough not to get cauhgt!
ReplyDeleteWow, your newspaper reports more interesting local news. We have reports along the lines of "Sheep Fell into Lake, Rescued by Fire Squad". They didn't mention if the sheep had taken any illicit drugs.
ReplyDelete