
Now get him to look serious and brooding into the camera for a moment. You might want to tell him that Farscape was never as good as Star Trek, or that Facebook is only MySpace for snobs, or some such thing.
Then crop the image close, only only allowing half the face to show, as this will remove any sense of an asymmertrical skull structure and the viewer will automatically assume the rest of the face to be well balanced.

Desaturate the image as Black & White photography gives a sense of artistic and cultural superiority. Now boost the contrast on the iris to make it stand out more.


Finally, darken the background and fine tune the brightness and contrast on the rest of the face, making the lights lighter and the darks darker.

Et VoilĂ , you now have the photo for the dust cover of the Blogger's next best selling hardback.
Of course it would help if he ever got round to writing it.
I'll just send you a photo and you make it look good for me... 'mkay?
ReplyDeleteADW - you're in luck! Female nudes are a speciality of mine...
ReplyDeletei had my own version of this.
ReplyDelete1. get a girlfriend who is a photographer.
2. go to a scottish island
3. allow her to take a picture of a reflection
4. break up with said photographer
5 you get a good photo
http://tinyurl.com/2ww89m
I'm ready to buy the book just for the jacket. Perhaps you should publish the dust cover first and later write book.
ReplyDeletewhat carole said, sugar! ;-)
ReplyDeletePhotoshop has helped me mingle among the mortals with more ease... When I used to look like this it was difficult for the common man to relate to my experiences, and so a team of dedicated professional graphic artists have helped me to achieve my current online appearance.
ReplyDeleteOhh... and I dig the new photoshopped you, by the way. Much better than that old smiling and gentle looking guy on Facebook.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason The Patrician from Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels springs to mind.
ReplyDeleteShould I be aware of subtle manipulation that makes it seem that I am in control of my own destiny while in reality merely executing my role in your master plan?
Nah..didn't think so.......well...er
Michael - is the breaking up with the girlfriend an essential part of the process? I admire your dedication.
ReplyDeleteCarole - aw, shucks
Savannah - shucks again :)
Tom - I'm impressed with your understanding and empathy with the common man.
Hangar Queen - hmmm... perhaps it's more The Master from old Dr Who episodes...
Wow! That photo looks like it ought to be the cover of a book with a whole slew of hard-hitting, pithy reviews from the New York Times Book Review and the Guardian: "Mesmerizing," "A rollicking good read," and so on.
ReplyDeleteI had to send my photo to the people who sponsored a competition I won once. Honestly, it was so awful I could hardly bear it, but they printed it anyway.
How hard is it to do that sort of photograph? Really?
You make it sound so easy Kim, but having tried messing about with photoshop I know that's not so. It takes a certain type of skill and patience not in my possession, sadly.
ReplyDeleteI'd buy the book too.
Oh, bravo sir... although 2 minutes more and you could have also removed that lone grey hair on your 'tache. Never mind. The extinguished hair adds a distinguished air to a distinctive Ayres, what!
ReplyDeletewith exception to the first photo...I am just pleased you shared them with us.....( not hard to look at at all!)....( I am so bad):)KUIN
ReplyDeleteMary - the better the quality of the original photograph, the more you can do with it. You only have to look at all the completely false models on and in every magazine to see what can be done if you have the skill. If you've not seen it, this video on YouTube is a real eye opener to what can be done. My skills don't go that far, but I do have fun playing about a bit.
ReplyDeleteEryl - like anything, it's practice - the more you do, the better you get.
Binty - superb linguistic gymnasticss my friend. How about you put them to use on the Storytellers Blog?
Kuin - but the first one is the most accurate...
Hey Kim
ReplyDeleteHead on over to me for an award :-)
Kim will come back later to absorb this but when you have a chance see my comment on Eryl's blog and tell me what you think please. With regard to reading out loud.
ReplyDeleteThat last picture looks just a touch George Michael.
ReplyDeleteYou've got WAYYYY too much time on your hands.
Sorry Kim, I am too impatient for all that. Download and crop, then post. That is my way.
ReplyDeleteThat's amazing... can I use that on MY book cover?
ReplyDeleteThat photo looks more like:
ReplyDelete"If you dis my query, I'm going to hex you with a spell."
I wish I had your expertise. Since I got a new screen my photo makes me look demented with teeth like Dracula. My son had a go but couldn't rally improve it.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteChristina - I'll be over in a bit :)
Pat - sent you an email
Dr Maroon - it beats making notes for my philosophy class
Jo - you're a wiser person than me
Sayre - that might confuse your buying public...
Kanani - Maybe a bit too Derren Brown
Pat - Just embrace it and start wearing lots of lace and velvet