Not Sounding Good – and Episode 21 of Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres

I'm 6 seconds into the podcast when I realise the sound level indicator isn't reacting to my voice. I'm going out live and no one can hear me.

30 seconds of frantic menu opening and clicking options in OBS – the programme I use to interface with Facebook Live – and the problem is sorted – we have sound!

1 minute later Maggie comes into the room to tell me my voice is high pitched, like a tape that's speeded up.

At this point my brain reminds me I'd had a similar problem with my microphone on a Zoom call that morning. Why it hadn't reminded me before I started a live broadcast is anyone's guess, but I will be having stern words with it later about not pulling its weight and not being a proper team player.

Another minute is passing as I do more frantic menu opening and clicking options, and now my voice is being picked up by the webcam rather than the microphone. The sound quality isn't as good and there's a definite hiss in the background, but it's better than silence, or me sounding like I've been sucking helium from a balloon.

You'll be pleased to know I've edited out 3 minutes silence, squeaky voice and furrowed brows for the recorded YouTube version below.

For the past couple of months I've been suggesting to people that if they would like to support these podcasts, then can do so by visiting buymeacoffee.com.

However after last night's fiasco I told Maggie there ought to be an alternative donation system called drownmysorrows.com

I've looked.

There isn't.

Amazingly, no one has yet even bought the domain name!

Perhaps I should get it and try a different route to global domination...

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0:00 - False start with high squeeky voice
0:30 - What's coming up
1:33 - Introduction to Soul Soup and issues of mental health
6:50 - The idea behind the "Everyday Superheroes" image<
19:45 - Critique of images submitted to the Facebook Group, "Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres"
1:07:05 - Coming up next week

If you found this interesting/useful/entertaining, then please consider supporting these podcasts and blog posts via buymeacoffee.com/kimayres

Also consider subscribing to my YouTube channel -  https://www.youtube.com/kimayres  – to help me build the numbers.

And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres  Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/

A Calm Serenity - and Understanding Photography With Kim Ayres – Episode 20

I've slowly become aware there's a point in the week where a sort of serene calmness descends upon me.

It's noticeable, because serenity isn't one of those words I would use usually associate with myself, and certainly since Lockdown the struggles with Depression, Anxiety and the ME/CFS have all become heightened.

And yet, late on Tuesday evenings I find I'm feeling good, even though most of the day will have been filled with quite a high level of anxiety-inducing preparations for the podcast.

This usually carries me through Wednesday too, despite the more hectic nature of the day as I write a blog post, upload the podcast recording to YouTube and work out all the tags and blurb to go with it, embed it in the blog, announce it and link to the blog from Instagram and Twitter and Facebook, and rewrite the blog for LinkedIn, and announce it and share it in LinkedIn groups. And sometimes I create an extra “bite-size” edit from the podcast, where I take a stand-alone section which could be useful for budding photographers who don't have the time to watch the full 90 minute episode.

Thursdays, it has to be said, are usually a write-off. My energy has gone and that calm serenity with it.

However, as I finish the live podcast, have a quick debrief with Maggie and then settle down with a cup of tea to start editing and rendering the video ready for YouTube, I find I'm often feeling at peace with myself.

It hasn't been like this from the beginning: in the earlier episodes I was too obsessed with everything that had gone wrong.

But 20 weeks in and these things bother me less.

Partly this is because I've now made so many mistakes and the world hasn't ended, that I've managed to mentally downgrade their importance.

I think the big thing though, is I'm now getting more feedback from people who seem to be genuinely enjoying, and benefitting from the podcasts.

The past few weeks I've been getting more live comments, and that instant connection breaks past the barrier of me sitting in a room on my own talking into a webcam. And then I've also been getting a few more messages from people afterwards letting me know how useful they found it.

This helps to counteract my fear that the whole thing is just perceived as an over-inflated, self-indulgent ego-trip and nothing more than a cringe-worthy act of showing off.

OK, I'm not going to deny there is an attention-seeking aspect to my personality, but actually what I love more than anything is to feel useful – to feel that something I'm doing is having a positive effect – to know that someone else feels their life has been improved on some level, however small, because of something I've done.

When I was younger, I think I would probably have most aligned myself with the idea, "do what thou wilt, but harm none."

I think as sentiments go, it not a bad starting point. Don't harm others, and so long as that's the case it shouldn't really matter what else you get up to.

But as I've got older, I've realised my mental health is always much improved when I cross the barrier from trying not to harm anyone else, to actively helping others feel better about themselves.

My whole photography business has been built around the idea of helping to improve people's self esteem. I don't just take the photo they need, but one where they feel they look good.

Unfortunately, Lockdown has massively limited my ability to do this.

But I realised the other day, while chatting with Maggie, the podcasts are starting to fill this space.

Each week I give away as much knowledge and insight into photography as I can, so those who are seeking to improve their understanding and skills feel they can do so in a safe environment. There are no “stupid” questions, and there are no humiliating put-downs.

Feeling that I'm actually helping some people, and getting more feedback that reinforces this sense, is leading to these lovely moments of calm serenity.

And for a few hours at least, the demons are silenced.

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0:00 - What's coming up
2:23 - Creating a promotional photo for "Macmath: The Silent Page"
11:00 - Editing the photo
27:00 - Critique of images submitted to the Facebook Group, "Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres"
1:06:40 - Photographing bands in pub gigs
1:23:50 - Coming up next weekk


If you found this interesting/useful/entertaining, then please consider supporting these podcasts and blog posts via buymeacoffee.com/kimayres

Also consider subscribing to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.

And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/

Art as Process, not Product – and Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres – Episode 19

For most people, when we think of art, we think of the finished item: the painting, the sculpture, the film etc.

It is this item that is then perceived to have value – it can be bought, sold, and displayed. 

It is a commodity.

For non-artists it's very easy to assume that creating art is much like assembling flat pack furniture. Perhaps a little more skilled and involved, but primarily it's about going through a sequence of steps to produce a final outcome, and then it gets sold.

And if the person who made it is seen to be particularly skilled or renowned, then you can expect to pay more for it.

But this idea often sits very uncomfortably with artists themselves.

You pour your heart, soul and creativity into fashioning something, only for its value to be decided by others, in a way that can be completely at odds with the meaning the piece has for you.

When I decided I was going to talk about the photos I did for Douglas Walker of Handcooked Studios, showing him in the act of screen printing, it started a series of conversations with my wife over a number of coffees at The Shed Café.

Although Maggie respects my staged narrative, tableau style shoots, she has a particular fondness for my photos of artists and makers at work.

She loves to see the intensity captured in the creative process.

As the discussions evolved, it became clearer that for the artist, it is the act of creating, that is the art. 

It is the pursuit of an idea, a mood, an itch just out of reach that has to be scratched. 

It is the preparations, the getting started, the wrong turns, the frustrations, the overcomings.

It is trying to find that place where it is finished, or abandoned, or destroyed and begun again.

The final piece is an end to that pursuit.

This is the point where the artist stops being an artist and now, perhaps, has to become a salesperson.

For the rest of the world, the art is the thing that has been created. But for the creator, the revealing of the thing is the cessation of the creative process.

And I don't think many non-artists ever really consider it in these terms.

So the first part of this week's episode is only partially about the photos of Douglas, and much more where I shoot off in a philosophical mode about whether art is the product or the process.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below – I really would love to have other opinions on this.

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0:00 - What's coming up
2:15 - Introduction to photographing a screen printer in action.
10:30 - When art is the process, and not the product.
30:55 - Critique of images submitted to the Facebook Group, "Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres"
1:16:23 - Coming up next week


If you found this interesting/useful/entertaining, then please consider supporting these podcasts and blog posts via buymeacoffee.com/kimayres

Also consider subscribing to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.

And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/

Comments and Interaction - and Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres - Episode 18

What I really enjoyed in last night's podcast was the interaction.

There was a point where I was talking about how the energy and mood of a photo I created seemed to change noticeably when I reversed the image, even though it was basically just a bunch of trees.

Not completely sure whether this was purely in my own imaginings and other people might be wondering what on earth I was on about, I asked the viewers to give me their thoughts, and a few of them did.

I loved the responses I got: different interpretations; other ways of seeing.

A core part of who I am is a communicator. As discussed in previous posts, I'm also a blether (see Going Off On A Tangent), but that's all part of the same thing.

I like to talk, but that's because I love to share ideas. And for that to happen, I need someone to share them with.

18 episodes in and while it can look like I've settled in to how to present the live podcasts on Facebook to a degree, it's still not that easy only having a webcam to talk to, and not see a responsive face engaging with me.

No nods of agreement, raised eyebrows of scepticism, or bored expressions letting me know I've gone on too long. And of course no talking back – no conversation, no challenges, no anecdotes or alternate viewpoints given.

When I began the Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres podcasts, the idea anyone might start leaving comments felt like just another thing I had to think about while I was already struggling with which button to press and which direction to look in.

But very quickly I came to appreciate that even a "Hi Kim" let me know someone was out there actually listening. So now, at the beginning of each podcast I try and encourage people to leave comments.

Unfortunately I can't see the comments as they happen in real time, as my screens are taken up with all the folders, text and images I need access to, as well as Photoshop and anything else I'm using to demonstrate what I'm talking about.

So throughout the episode I will periodically check in on the comments and respond to them.

With numbers still relatively low as the show goes out live, sometimes there are only one or two greetings, and I can check in a while later and there are no additions.

I can't avoid the wee stab of disappointment, but I dare not dwell on it. This is a live show, and a crestfallen face isn't going to contribute positively. I'm looking for interest and excitement from the viewers, not pity.

So I do a quick mental reminder that more people will watch the recording afterwards, and that it's still early days.

Global domination is probably still a few weeks away yet...

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0:00 - What's coming up
2:25 - Finding an old photo but discovering a new story within it.
07:07 - Editing a woodland photo - chasing a mood
28:00 - Critique of images submitted to the Facebook Group, "Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres"
1:21:45 - Coming up next week



If you found this interesting/useful/entertaining, then please consider supporting these podcasts and blog posts via buymeacoffee.com/kimayres

Also consider subscribing to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.

And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/