As is so often the case, it was Maggie who identified the missing piece I was struggling to find.
"The problem was you didn't have a main photo," she said.
I was aware of waffling on a bit during last night's podcast. It took ages before I started showing any photos, and then there was an endless trail of one after the other (well, nine actually, but that's still a lot more than one).
I'd been quite looking forward to talking about the first Moniaive Comic Festival photo shoot – there had been so much going on, so many different elements.
But I probably didn't need to try to talk about all of them.
I failed to do the thing I'm always telling people to do in the Critique section of the podcasts, which is, "find the story."
There is always far more going on than you can possibly capture, so you need to find a particular thread and focus on it. Everything else then becomes a backdrop and support to that narrative.
Once you identify this, all other decisions of composition, lighting, inclusion and exclusion, become much easier to make. And this is true for all storytelling – whether it's photography, writing or film making.
More often than not, I've been taking a key photo to talk about, and then if there were any others, they came in as a support to the main offering. But at the Moniaive Comic Festival shoot I had several photos, all of which seemed to hold equal value. However, to anyone else they would have just been variations along the same theme.
Add in an extra layer of tiredness and I just wasn't as focused as I would have liked. But the problem of a live broadcast is you can't wait until you're in a better state, or keep re-recording it until you're happy to put it out there.
17 episodes in, and I still have plenty to learn...
---
0:00 - What's coming up
1:50 - Introduction to Moniaive Comic Festival
07:07 - Introduction to the Manga style photo shoot at the Moniaive Comic Festival
12:14 - Behind-the-scenes video of the photo shoot
20:37 - Using Gradient Map option to create different post-production effects in Photoshop
25:37 - Critique of images submitted to the Facebook Group, "Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres"
1:25:22 - Coming up next week
If you found this interesting/useful/entertaining, then please consider supporting these podcasts and blog posts via buymeacoffee.com/kimayres
Also consider subscribing to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.
And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/
Wednesday, July 29, 2020
Wednesday, July 22, 2020
Too Much Cake – and Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres - Episode 16
I was less than 5 minutes into the podcast when I realised I wasn't operating on full power.
My brain was slower, I was filling gaps with "ers" and "ums", and for a moment I completely forgot the name of the person in the photos I was going to be talking about. Was it something beginning with A?
Amy?
Annette?
Anita?
I glanced over to the folder with the images I was about to pull up on screen and was hugely relieved to see the filenames said "Gina" on them.
Not an "A" then...
After the experience of Episode 6, where I felt my low energy levels had made themselves felt with a performance that was distinctly less-than, I've been making more of an effort to pace myself throughout a Tuesday. I make sure I get a proper rest in the afternoon, and I don't allow myself to worry too much about the state the rest of the world is in (news is avoided, Facebook use is minimised).
However, it was Maggie's birthday yesterday, and a large slice of orange polenta cake covered in a chocolate ganache (on top of various other sweet treats throughout the day) had me feeling stuffed shortly before I sat down to begin the podcast.
This resulted in my body deciding digestion was more important than brain power, and redirected resources accordingly.
I sometimes wonder what these podcasts would be like if instead of doing them at 7.30pm, I went live at 11am, just after morning coffee.
I would probably deliver everything at high speed and it would all be over in 5 minutes...
---
0:00 - What's coming up
2:30 - The story behind a Tomb Raider inspired photo shoot
11:42 - How to make a flaming torch
25:20 - Critique of images submitted to the Facebook Group, "Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres"
1:07:34 - Coming up next week
If you found this interesting/useful/entertaining, then please consider supporting these podcasts via buymeacoffee.com/kimayres
Also consider subscribing to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.
And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/
My brain was slower, I was filling gaps with "ers" and "ums", and for a moment I completely forgot the name of the person in the photos I was going to be talking about. Was it something beginning with A?
Amy?
Annette?
Anita?
I glanced over to the folder with the images I was about to pull up on screen and was hugely relieved to see the filenames said "Gina" on them.
Not an "A" then...
After the experience of Episode 6, where I felt my low energy levels had made themselves felt with a performance that was distinctly less-than, I've been making more of an effort to pace myself throughout a Tuesday. I make sure I get a proper rest in the afternoon, and I don't allow myself to worry too much about the state the rest of the world is in (news is avoided, Facebook use is minimised).
However, it was Maggie's birthday yesterday, and a large slice of orange polenta cake covered in a chocolate ganache (on top of various other sweet treats throughout the day) had me feeling stuffed shortly before I sat down to begin the podcast.
This resulted in my body deciding digestion was more important than brain power, and redirected resources accordingly.
I sometimes wonder what these podcasts would be like if instead of doing them at 7.30pm, I went live at 11am, just after morning coffee.
I would probably deliver everything at high speed and it would all be over in 5 minutes...
---
0:00 - What's coming up
2:30 - The story behind a Tomb Raider inspired photo shoot
11:42 - How to make a flaming torch
25:20 - Critique of images submitted to the Facebook Group, "Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres"
1:07:34 - Coming up next week
If you found this interesting/useful/entertaining, then please consider supporting these podcasts via buymeacoffee.com/kimayres
Also consider subscribing to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.
And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/
Wednesday, July 15, 2020
Begging, Busking or Bartering - and Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres - Episode 15
Asking for money has never been an easy thing to do.
It can feel like begging, even if I am actually providing goods or services of equal or higher value than the money being requested.
I'm not totally sure where it comes from, but there's no doubt I would feel naturally happier in an environment or society where people exchanged time and skills in such a way that everyone benefits – not just those with the most power, or biggest bank balances.
However, that's not the world we live in, and I'm now too old and tired to have the passion, naivety, and energy of youth, to go out and try and change the world to fit my ideals.
The simple fact is, I need money to survive. And even if I might, possibly, find ways to exist without it on my own, I also have a family to support.
But over the years I have also become corrupted by it and am now loathe to give up comforts and conveniences like a comfy bed and an indoor toilet. Thus I need to find ways to pay for these luxuries.
Nevertheless, being self employed means I am having to ask for money all the time.
It's not like working for someone else where you agree a wage when you join the company and then only have to think about it on occasions where a pay rise might considered. Every single customer and every single job has to be costed, negotiated and invoiced. And if you get it wrong you could lose the lot.
It never really gets any easier – I always feel I'm fighting against my natural instinct just to help a fellow human rather than charge them a fee for my time, energy and skills.
So I always overcompensate. It doesn't matter how much I charge, I make damn sure the client will gain far more than just the monetary value from the transaction. If they are merely satisfied, rather than pleased or delighted, then I begin to worry I haven't given enough.
This has all become vastly more complicated in my head since the arrival of Covid-19, the hibernation of my real-world photography business, and my attempt to see if it's possible to earn a living via online engagements.
The cornerstone of my plan for moving forward is my weekly, Facebook Live podcast, Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres.
Here, I am giving away my knowledge and expertise for free in a hopefully entertaining and useful way.
On the one hand it helps satisfy my natural desire to help other people, but at the same time I'm hoping to build a following and eventually find ways to monetise it – perhaps through things like memberships and online classes. But certainly in ways in which everyone who comes on board will feel they gain far more from than the fee they pay.
But in the meantime, what about the podcast? Can I ask for donations and support for that?
I'm not putting it behind a pay-wall – it's there for free for anyone who wants it.
But it still takes up at least 2 days of my week, every week, to create and promote.
When Lockdown began, and I was still trying to quell the panic and work out what to do next, I saw various musician friends doing online live concerts using Paypal as a tip jar. If you have a Paypal account it's not complicated to set up a link that allows people to simply and easily transfer money online, either from their own Paypal account, or via their credit/debit card.
This wasn't begging – this was busking.
It's the same way an entertainer can set up on the street – whether it's fire-breathing and acrobatics, or strumming a guitar singing all your favourite hits from the 60s and 70s – you can throw a few pounds or pennies into their hat to help support them and thank them for their time and entertainment.
So I set up paypal.me/kimayres, placed the address on my podcast screen, and for the past 3 months have pointed it out a couple of times per show for anyone who would like to lob something my way.
I had no idea whether it would work or not. It's not compulsory and most people are used to not paying for things that come via their screens.
Well, they do – they are still paying their TV license, or Netflix or Amazon subscriptions, and for their phone and internet connections – but it just doesn't feel like it.
I have had a small handful of contributors, and one or two of them have been particularly generous, but we're not talking at levels where I can think of early retirement, or even paying the gas bill.
But I'm also aware that some people get a little freaked out by donating when they have no guide as to how much.
Is £5 or £10 or £50 way too much, or insultingly small?
Each person has a different idea depending on their income, generosity, and life experiences. But perhaps a few/some/many will be so concerned about "getting it wrong" that it's easier not to do anything at all.
Not too long ago, I came across buymeacoffee.com, which seems to offer up a solution to this.
You set up an account and it has an easy to use page where people can turn up and donate the equivalent of a cup of coffee – averagely about £3 in the UK. And there's an option for those who are feeling a bit more generous and wish to donate multiple cups of coffee – 2, 5, 20 or whatever someone chooses to put in the box.
So I've decided to give this a go. In last night's podcast I swapped the Paypal link to buymeacoffee.com/kimayres
Nobody went for it, but then there have been plenty of weeks when no one has donated via Paypal either, so it's too early to tell.
I think this is a better way of going about it. It does feel a bit more like busking than begging.
But I am still doing psychological and emotional acrobatics to allow myself to put anything there at all - even though I don't doubt the quality of what I'm offering, or the benefits to those watching.
How does it make you feel when you see these links, or do you (or would you) use them yourself?
Do leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.
---
0:00 - Welcome to episode 15
0:10 - New webcam
1:06 - What's coming up
3:22 - All about The Artists at The Nail Factory
29:02 - Using artificial light to emulate natural light
44:29 - Critique of images submitted to the Facebook Group, "Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres"
1:22:27 - Coming up next week
If you've not done so already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.
And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/
It can feel like begging, even if I am actually providing goods or services of equal or higher value than the money being requested.
I'm not totally sure where it comes from, but there's no doubt I would feel naturally happier in an environment or society where people exchanged time and skills in such a way that everyone benefits – not just those with the most power, or biggest bank balances.
However, that's not the world we live in, and I'm now too old and tired to have the passion, naivety, and energy of youth, to go out and try and change the world to fit my ideals.
The simple fact is, I need money to survive. And even if I might, possibly, find ways to exist without it on my own, I also have a family to support.
But over the years I have also become corrupted by it and am now loathe to give up comforts and conveniences like a comfy bed and an indoor toilet. Thus I need to find ways to pay for these luxuries.
Nevertheless, being self employed means I am having to ask for money all the time.
It's not like working for someone else where you agree a wage when you join the company and then only have to think about it on occasions where a pay rise might considered. Every single customer and every single job has to be costed, negotiated and invoiced. And if you get it wrong you could lose the lot.
It never really gets any easier – I always feel I'm fighting against my natural instinct just to help a fellow human rather than charge them a fee for my time, energy and skills.
So I always overcompensate. It doesn't matter how much I charge, I make damn sure the client will gain far more than just the monetary value from the transaction. If they are merely satisfied, rather than pleased or delighted, then I begin to worry I haven't given enough.
This has all become vastly more complicated in my head since the arrival of Covid-19, the hibernation of my real-world photography business, and my attempt to see if it's possible to earn a living via online engagements.
The cornerstone of my plan for moving forward is my weekly, Facebook Live podcast, Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres.
Here, I am giving away my knowledge and expertise for free in a hopefully entertaining and useful way.
On the one hand it helps satisfy my natural desire to help other people, but at the same time I'm hoping to build a following and eventually find ways to monetise it – perhaps through things like memberships and online classes. But certainly in ways in which everyone who comes on board will feel they gain far more from than the fee they pay.
But in the meantime, what about the podcast? Can I ask for donations and support for that?
I'm not putting it behind a pay-wall – it's there for free for anyone who wants it.
But it still takes up at least 2 days of my week, every week, to create and promote.
When Lockdown began, and I was still trying to quell the panic and work out what to do next, I saw various musician friends doing online live concerts using Paypal as a tip jar. If you have a Paypal account it's not complicated to set up a link that allows people to simply and easily transfer money online, either from their own Paypal account, or via their credit/debit card.
This wasn't begging – this was busking.
It's the same way an entertainer can set up on the street – whether it's fire-breathing and acrobatics, or strumming a guitar singing all your favourite hits from the 60s and 70s – you can throw a few pounds or pennies into their hat to help support them and thank them for their time and entertainment.
So I set up paypal.me/kimayres, placed the address on my podcast screen, and for the past 3 months have pointed it out a couple of times per show for anyone who would like to lob something my way.
I had no idea whether it would work or not. It's not compulsory and most people are used to not paying for things that come via their screens.
Well, they do – they are still paying their TV license, or Netflix or Amazon subscriptions, and for their phone and internet connections – but it just doesn't feel like it.
I have had a small handful of contributors, and one or two of them have been particularly generous, but we're not talking at levels where I can think of early retirement, or even paying the gas bill.
But I'm also aware that some people get a little freaked out by donating when they have no guide as to how much.
Is £5 or £10 or £50 way too much, or insultingly small?
Each person has a different idea depending on their income, generosity, and life experiences. But perhaps a few/some/many will be so concerned about "getting it wrong" that it's easier not to do anything at all.
Not too long ago, I came across buymeacoffee.com, which seems to offer up a solution to this.
You set up an account and it has an easy to use page where people can turn up and donate the equivalent of a cup of coffee – averagely about £3 in the UK. And there's an option for those who are feeling a bit more generous and wish to donate multiple cups of coffee – 2, 5, 20 or whatever someone chooses to put in the box.
So I've decided to give this a go. In last night's podcast I swapped the Paypal link to buymeacoffee.com/kimayres
Nobody went for it, but then there have been plenty of weeks when no one has donated via Paypal either, so it's too early to tell.
I think this is a better way of going about it. It does feel a bit more like busking than begging.
But I am still doing psychological and emotional acrobatics to allow myself to put anything there at all - even though I don't doubt the quality of what I'm offering, or the benefits to those watching.
How does it make you feel when you see these links, or do you (or would you) use them yourself?
Do leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.
---
0:00 - Welcome to episode 15
0:10 - New webcam
1:06 - What's coming up
3:22 - All about The Artists at The Nail Factory
29:02 - Using artificial light to emulate natural light
44:29 - Critique of images submitted to the Facebook Group, "Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres"
1:22:27 - Coming up next week
If you've not done so already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.
And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/
Wednesday, July 08, 2020
Camera Club Special - Episode 14 of Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres
Episode 14 of Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres was a Camera Club Special.
In response to the Covid-19 pandemic, 3 local camera clubs – Stewartry, Abbey, and Loreburn – decided to join together online and have weekly competitions for anyone who wanted to take part. These were then split into 2 categories – those taken with a phone, and those taken with a more regular camera.
During a conversation a few weeks ago with Keith from Abbey Camera Club, the idea came up that perhaps I could judge one of their competitions. I've given talks to all 3 clubs before and have good relationships with them, so I thought that instead of just choosing and announcing the winners in one section of the podcast, I could actually give feedback on the photos.
Initially I figured I would maybe just give a bit of critique on the top 3 in each category, but then I thought it's those who don't feature in the top spots that often benefit the most from some considered pointers.
I received the entries a few days before the podcast to give me time to go through the images and decide what areas of each photo could be addressed.
I was chatting to my son, Rogan, via Skype about this. He's been hugely supportive of my podcasts, helping me to shape them, and giving feedback after the episodes allowing me to hone my presentations.
I showed him a couple of the photos where I was feeling a bit uncertain where to begin, and because he managed to act partly as a sounding board, but also view things with an entirely different eye, it helped me past my blind spots.
Rogan suggested I send him all the photos, and we could talk about them the following evening.
So I did, and what followed was a marathon 3 hour call going through each of the images, where he would call me out if I'd missed something that occurred to him.
I must admit I thought Episode 14 would probably be shorter than many of the others. Although there would be 22 photos across 2 categories to go through, I felt much clearer on what I had to say about each one.
However, once the live podcast began, the bit of me that will never give a 30 second explanation if a 30 minute one will do, kicked in. So each image got a pretty thorough going over, and I also veered off into explaining the different elements required in impressing a judge when entering a competition.
2 hours later – the longest podcast by far – I quit the live feed and slumped back in my chair, feeling exhausted, yet buzzing at the same time.
And desperately suffering from post-podcast munchies.
On my list of possible developments for the podcast has been the introduction of occasional, or even regular competitions for followers, so this was useful as a sort of trial run.
But if I do, I'll definitely have to restrict the feedback to fewer images.
Below is the episode in full, with lots of juicy information on improving your photography...
---
0:00 - Introduction - what's coming up
6:45 - Phone entries in the competition and feedback
46:50 - Understanding the elements for a competition entry
55:00 - DSLR entries in the competition and feedback
1:58:30 - Coming up next week
If you've not done so already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.
And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/
In response to the Covid-19 pandemic, 3 local camera clubs – Stewartry, Abbey, and Loreburn – decided to join together online and have weekly competitions for anyone who wanted to take part. These were then split into 2 categories – those taken with a phone, and those taken with a more regular camera.
During a conversation a few weeks ago with Keith from Abbey Camera Club, the idea came up that perhaps I could judge one of their competitions. I've given talks to all 3 clubs before and have good relationships with them, so I thought that instead of just choosing and announcing the winners in one section of the podcast, I could actually give feedback on the photos.
Initially I figured I would maybe just give a bit of critique on the top 3 in each category, but then I thought it's those who don't feature in the top spots that often benefit the most from some considered pointers.
I received the entries a few days before the podcast to give me time to go through the images and decide what areas of each photo could be addressed.
I was chatting to my son, Rogan, via Skype about this. He's been hugely supportive of my podcasts, helping me to shape them, and giving feedback after the episodes allowing me to hone my presentations.
I showed him a couple of the photos where I was feeling a bit uncertain where to begin, and because he managed to act partly as a sounding board, but also view things with an entirely different eye, it helped me past my blind spots.
Rogan suggested I send him all the photos, and we could talk about them the following evening.
So I did, and what followed was a marathon 3 hour call going through each of the images, where he would call me out if I'd missed something that occurred to him.
I must admit I thought Episode 14 would probably be shorter than many of the others. Although there would be 22 photos across 2 categories to go through, I felt much clearer on what I had to say about each one.
However, once the live podcast began, the bit of me that will never give a 30 second explanation if a 30 minute one will do, kicked in. So each image got a pretty thorough going over, and I also veered off into explaining the different elements required in impressing a judge when entering a competition.
2 hours later – the longest podcast by far – I quit the live feed and slumped back in my chair, feeling exhausted, yet buzzing at the same time.
And desperately suffering from post-podcast munchies.
On my list of possible developments for the podcast has been the introduction of occasional, or even regular competitions for followers, so this was useful as a sort of trial run.
But if I do, I'll definitely have to restrict the feedback to fewer images.
Below is the episode in full, with lots of juicy information on improving your photography...
---
0:00 - Introduction - what's coming up
6:45 - Phone entries in the competition and feedback
46:50 - Understanding the elements for a competition entry
55:00 - DSLR entries in the competition and feedback
1:58:30 - Coming up next week
If you've not done so already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.
And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/
Sunday, July 05, 2020
That Strained and Toxic Relationship...
The Strained Relationship I have with Facebook has become even more strained over the past few months.
Back in the earlier days, I did have a bit of an addiction problem with it. I'm a social person and enjoy finding out what everyone is up to.
Over the course of 13 years on Facebook I have amassed over 1,000 "Friends".
Believe it or not, I do not just accept friend requests from anyone – each is carefully considered.
Much to my surprise I have periodically gone through the list with the intention of at least getting rid of the people who I have no idea who they are, but somehow I seem to know who each one is, and why I did “friend” them in the first place.
I have occasionally "unfriended" people, although it's pretty rare for someone to piss me off so much I feel the relationship is unredeemable on any level.
But unlike the sneery responses I would sometimes see, I was always quite happy with people posting photos of their lunch, their selfies, and yet another sunset from their bedroom window. It was warm, friendly and done with good intent.
However, a few years back my newsfeed began to turn toxic. A combination of various UK and US elections, along with referendums on Scottish Independence and Brexit, led to my feed being flooded by outrage, fear and righteous indignation.
People were no longer writing in capital letters because they'd accidentally pressed the Caps Lock button: they were doing it deliberately to express the more extreme nature of their feelings.
Too often I began to see things like, “... AND IF YOU DISAGREE, THEN UNFRIEND ME NOW!!!”
But if I unfriended everyone I disagreed with on something, I would have no friends at all.
Including my wife and children.
Having always been one who believes in tolerance, debate, and doing my best to see the other person's viewpoint, even if I don't agree with it, these polarisations and extreme reactions I found very depressing.
In a way, it “cured” me of Facebook. I would no longer find hours had been mysteriously wasted, scrolling, clicking, commenting and sharing.
Facebook had become a place that made me feel sick and uncomfortable. Not all posts, of course, but enough to make me minimise my use.
I saw various friends denounce it entirely and disappear. Some came back again, but not all.
Leaving was never a real option for me though.
As a self-employed creative, Facebook had become a necessary part of my business promotion.
These days, unless you have more work than you can cope with, and it looks like that will continue forever, then making sure you maintain some kind of social media presence is essential.
However, with the onset of Covid-19, Lockdown, and Social Isolation, the desire – or need – to interact with others moved up to a new level.
The simple fact is, I'm not an introvert.
I come to life in company of other people.
Even the ME/CFS symptoms diminish when I'm in good company.
My energy is not drained by others, but enhanced.
My whole business is built around that.
I love to photograph people rather than landscapes or wildlife.
I love making people feel better about themselves.
I love going on journeys into other people's imaginations, which take me to places I would never get to on my own.
I love how everyone is different and has a unique way of viewing the world.
I love how everyone is the same – we all feel love, fear, hope, and anxiety.
But under current conditions I can't do as many photo shoots. I can't meet up with people for a coffee or hot chocolate. I can't even stop for chats in the street.
And I'm really struggling with this.
Don't get me wrong, I realise how extraordinarily fortunate I am that I'm in a house with a wife and daughter I love with all my heart, and we get on well together.
But I am very much a social animal.
So with all the limitations in the physical world, the virtual one is acting as the next best, or only, alternative.
And so my time on Facebook has started increasing again.
I am desperate for photos of people's lunches, their selfies, and the sunsets from their bedroom windows.
But with insane clowns in charge of the 2 countries with the highest death rates in the world due to Covid-19, and I happen to be living in one of them, it's not surprising that my news feed is constantly flooded by outrage, fear and righteous indignation.
And this is toxic to my mental health, and my ME/CFS.
As if sensing my desire to quit, Facebook's algorithms are getting sleekit.
Whenever I flip over to my newsfeed, there's almost always a handful of "nice" stories to begin with.
It must have realised that if every time the first item is something stress related, I immediately hit the back button.
But instead it lures me in.
Then, half a dozen posts on, it shows me something that makes me wince or sigh or inwardly recoil.
I quickly scroll past and am relieved to read of someone's anniversary.
But then someone has shared a link to an "interesting" article (if they had said “depressing” or “terrifying” I would have jumped past), and stupidly I go and take a look.
Half an hour later, having fallen down the rabbit hole of links and outrage, I am utterly exhausted, overwhelmed, and left quivering in a state of feeling extremely vulnerable.
And I feel gullible to have fallen for it again.
So I close the page, have a rest, have a coffee, do something else.
After a while – maybe a few hours, maybe the following day – either I will feel better and start wondering what my friends are up to, or I will be feeling low and yearning for some kind of social contact with the outside world.
So I decide I'll just see what's happening on Facebook again...
Back in the earlier days, I did have a bit of an addiction problem with it. I'm a social person and enjoy finding out what everyone is up to.
Over the course of 13 years on Facebook I have amassed over 1,000 "Friends".
Believe it or not, I do not just accept friend requests from anyone – each is carefully considered.
Much to my surprise I have periodically gone through the list with the intention of at least getting rid of the people who I have no idea who they are, but somehow I seem to know who each one is, and why I did “friend” them in the first place.
I have occasionally "unfriended" people, although it's pretty rare for someone to piss me off so much I feel the relationship is unredeemable on any level.
But unlike the sneery responses I would sometimes see, I was always quite happy with people posting photos of their lunch, their selfies, and yet another sunset from their bedroom window. It was warm, friendly and done with good intent.
However, a few years back my newsfeed began to turn toxic. A combination of various UK and US elections, along with referendums on Scottish Independence and Brexit, led to my feed being flooded by outrage, fear and righteous indignation.
People were no longer writing in capital letters because they'd accidentally pressed the Caps Lock button: they were doing it deliberately to express the more extreme nature of their feelings.
Too often I began to see things like, “... AND IF YOU DISAGREE, THEN UNFRIEND ME NOW!!!”
But if I unfriended everyone I disagreed with on something, I would have no friends at all.
Including my wife and children.
Having always been one who believes in tolerance, debate, and doing my best to see the other person's viewpoint, even if I don't agree with it, these polarisations and extreme reactions I found very depressing.
In a way, it “cured” me of Facebook. I would no longer find hours had been mysteriously wasted, scrolling, clicking, commenting and sharing.
Facebook had become a place that made me feel sick and uncomfortable. Not all posts, of course, but enough to make me minimise my use.
I saw various friends denounce it entirely and disappear. Some came back again, but not all.
Leaving was never a real option for me though.
As a self-employed creative, Facebook had become a necessary part of my business promotion.
These days, unless you have more work than you can cope with, and it looks like that will continue forever, then making sure you maintain some kind of social media presence is essential.
However, with the onset of Covid-19, Lockdown, and Social Isolation, the desire – or need – to interact with others moved up to a new level.
The simple fact is, I'm not an introvert.
I come to life in company of other people.
Even the ME/CFS symptoms diminish when I'm in good company.
My energy is not drained by others, but enhanced.
My whole business is built around that.
I love to photograph people rather than landscapes or wildlife.
I love making people feel better about themselves.
I love going on journeys into other people's imaginations, which take me to places I would never get to on my own.
I love how everyone is different and has a unique way of viewing the world.
I love how everyone is the same – we all feel love, fear, hope, and anxiety.
But under current conditions I can't do as many photo shoots. I can't meet up with people for a coffee or hot chocolate. I can't even stop for chats in the street.
And I'm really struggling with this.
Don't get me wrong, I realise how extraordinarily fortunate I am that I'm in a house with a wife and daughter I love with all my heart, and we get on well together.
But I am very much a social animal.
So with all the limitations in the physical world, the virtual one is acting as the next best, or only, alternative.
And so my time on Facebook has started increasing again.
I am desperate for photos of people's lunches, their selfies, and the sunsets from their bedroom windows.
But with insane clowns in charge of the 2 countries with the highest death rates in the world due to Covid-19, and I happen to be living in one of them, it's not surprising that my news feed is constantly flooded by outrage, fear and righteous indignation.
And this is toxic to my mental health, and my ME/CFS.
As if sensing my desire to quit, Facebook's algorithms are getting sleekit.
Whenever I flip over to my newsfeed, there's almost always a handful of "nice" stories to begin with.
It must have realised that if every time the first item is something stress related, I immediately hit the back button.
But instead it lures me in.
Then, half a dozen posts on, it shows me something that makes me wince or sigh or inwardly recoil.
I quickly scroll past and am relieved to read of someone's anniversary.
But then someone has shared a link to an "interesting" article (if they had said “depressing” or “terrifying” I would have jumped past), and stupidly I go and take a look.
Half an hour later, having fallen down the rabbit hole of links and outrage, I am utterly exhausted, overwhelmed, and left quivering in a state of feeling extremely vulnerable.
And I feel gullible to have fallen for it again.
So I close the page, have a rest, have a coffee, do something else.
After a while – maybe a few hours, maybe the following day – either I will feel better and start wondering what my friends are up to, or I will be feeling low and yearning for some kind of social contact with the outside world.
So I decide I'll just see what's happening on Facebook again...
Wednesday, July 01, 2020
Building a Team and Juggling Agendas - and Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres - Episode 13
I talk quite a bit in Episode 13 about collaboration, building a team, and juggling different agendas.
In some ways, I think it's the way I embrace these things that separates me out from most other photographers.
By and large, photography is a solitary pursuit. The typical image is of someone with a camera around their neck heading into the wilderness to capture an amazing sunrise, or wildlife in action. Even if they have assistants it is only to aid them in their venture. They are still the ones who have the complete vision and will execute it.
With the move towards documentary or fly-on-the-wall wedding photography, even this genre can be more like wildlife, or street photography, as you are looking to capture those "decisive moments".
The photographer as observer, recorder, documenter.
She or he sits outwith the action in order to witness it.
Portraiture on the other hand, requires the input of another person. I can have the biggest camera, with the most expensive lighting system, in the most amazing location, but if the subject is nervous or uncomfortable or unhappy in any way, then I don't get my photo.
So in order to be an effective portrait photographer you have to have a certain level of people skills. You have to find ways of being able to put them at their ease. You have to make them feel empowered rather than victimised by the process.
Of course this is what puts a lot of photographers off portraiture. Let's face it, most of us are struggling most of the time with coping with our own feelings of fear, insecurity and imposter syndrome, so the idea of having to deal with someone else's as well can seem way too scary.
But not me. For some reason I love the interaction; I love making people feel more at ease; I love empowering others.
Even then, it's a bit of a leap from dealing with people on a one-to-one basis, to trying to cope with a whole team.
Because unlike the person who hires in a driver, a personal assistant, and porters, I'm very often working with a very limited budget, which means the hairdresser, makeup artist and models may well be working for free, or in exchange for use of the photos to promote their own businesses.
So at this point, I'm not only having to satisfy the client, I have to be able to satisfy the agendas of everyone else on the set. Especially if I ever want to use their services again.
And yet, I find I can thrive in this environment too.
I enjoy being part of something bigger than me; to be able to bring everyone on board with the vision and then trust them to carry out their part of it.
It allows me to create on a level I would never be able to do on my own.
While there are many photographers for whom social distancing isn't making a great deal of difference – the lone wolf mentality offers a protection of sorts – for me, this aspect of Lockdown I find particularly difficult to deal with.
For now all I can do is talk about the excitement of collaboration and shooting with a team.
It could be a while before I can practice it again.
---
0:00 - Introduction - what's coming up
2:16 - Background to the fashion shoot at the "Rural Mural"
5:10 - Assembling a team
11:41 - Preparing the models and taking a few behind-the-scenes photos
13:33 - creating a behind-the-scenes video
15:22 - the importance of coffee and snacks
20:15 - understanding the different agendas of the people you collaborate with
43:00 - Critiquing images
1:19:50 - Coming up next week
If you've not done so already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.
And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/
In some ways, I think it's the way I embrace these things that separates me out from most other photographers.
By and large, photography is a solitary pursuit. The typical image is of someone with a camera around their neck heading into the wilderness to capture an amazing sunrise, or wildlife in action. Even if they have assistants it is only to aid them in their venture. They are still the ones who have the complete vision and will execute it.
With the move towards documentary or fly-on-the-wall wedding photography, even this genre can be more like wildlife, or street photography, as you are looking to capture those "decisive moments".
The photographer as observer, recorder, documenter.
She or he sits outwith the action in order to witness it.
Portraiture on the other hand, requires the input of another person. I can have the biggest camera, with the most expensive lighting system, in the most amazing location, but if the subject is nervous or uncomfortable or unhappy in any way, then I don't get my photo.
So in order to be an effective portrait photographer you have to have a certain level of people skills. You have to find ways of being able to put them at their ease. You have to make them feel empowered rather than victimised by the process.
Of course this is what puts a lot of photographers off portraiture. Let's face it, most of us are struggling most of the time with coping with our own feelings of fear, insecurity and imposter syndrome, so the idea of having to deal with someone else's as well can seem way too scary.
But not me. For some reason I love the interaction; I love making people feel more at ease; I love empowering others.
Even then, it's a bit of a leap from dealing with people on a one-to-one basis, to trying to cope with a whole team.
Because unlike the person who hires in a driver, a personal assistant, and porters, I'm very often working with a very limited budget, which means the hairdresser, makeup artist and models may well be working for free, or in exchange for use of the photos to promote their own businesses.
So at this point, I'm not only having to satisfy the client, I have to be able to satisfy the agendas of everyone else on the set. Especially if I ever want to use their services again.
And yet, I find I can thrive in this environment too.
I enjoy being part of something bigger than me; to be able to bring everyone on board with the vision and then trust them to carry out their part of it.
It allows me to create on a level I would never be able to do on my own.
While there are many photographers for whom social distancing isn't making a great deal of difference – the lone wolf mentality offers a protection of sorts – for me, this aspect of Lockdown I find particularly difficult to deal with.
For now all I can do is talk about the excitement of collaboration and shooting with a team.
It could be a while before I can practice it again.
---
0:00 - Introduction - what's coming up
2:16 - Background to the fashion shoot at the "Rural Mural"
5:10 - Assembling a team
11:41 - Preparing the models and taking a few behind-the-scenes photos
13:33 - creating a behind-the-scenes video
15:22 - the importance of coffee and snacks
20:15 - understanding the different agendas of the people you collaborate with
43:00 - Critiquing images
1:19:50 - Coming up next week
If you've not done so already, please subscribe to my YouTube channel - https://www.youtube.com/kimayres – to help me build the numbers.
And, or course, if you would like to submit a photo for feedback, or just ask a photography related question, then do join my Understanding Photography with Kim Ayres Facebook group and I will put it into the following podcast:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/240842990388815/