The Jekyll & Hyde transformation of being an award finalist

In the days, and even hours running up to the Dumfries & Galloway Life Awards 2017, I knew I wasn't going to win the visual artist/maker category. And I was genuinely fine with that. Afterwards, I also knew I was never likely to have won. And I was genuinely fine with that too.

But in the 30 minutes or so before the winner was announced, a desperate, highly competitive side to me was shouting in my head that this award absolutely and completely DESERVED to be mine.

The Dumfries & Galloway Life Awards celebrate the business, culture and, above all, the people who live in this corner of Scotland.

The fact that some people had taken the time to fill in a form and put my name forward with an explanation of why they felt I should be awarded – and then for the judges to select me as a finalist – felt wonderful, and was certainly reward enough. I didn't feel the need to win anything beyond that.

My fellow finalists were artist, Julie Dumbarton, and potters, Fitch & McAndrew. Highly talented and internationally recognised, these people help spread the value of Dumfries and Galloway well beyond its borders.



So while it was a delight to be included in their company, I knew I wouldn't really be in the running for the top prize. But that was OK. I would still get a free dinner at the awards night and see plenty of people I know.

I donned my least faded black jeans and my least crumpled shirt for the evening. Dinner was good. I found myself seated on the same table as Doug Fitch of Fitch & McAndrew. I've met him a few times and we've always got on well. In fact, the previous evening I'd even met him in the local supermarket and we'd discussed the upcoming awards. 10 minutes later I'd met him again when he asked if he could borrow my phone as his car wouldn't start and the battery on his phone was dead. I was only too happy to be able to help out.

My money was on Fitch & McAndrew. Julie had won it in 2013 and 2014, so I figured they'd give it to the potters this time.

As the desserts were cleared off the table, and the awards began, I started to wonder whether I might actually be in with a chance after all. And as they went through the different categories, slowly moving towards the visual artist/maker award, my heart rate started increasing, and I began seeing myself walking up to the stage to collect MY award. This feeling grew stronger and stronger as the minutes passed until by the time the category before us was announced, I was totally convinced I was going to win. I KNEW it to the core of my being. In fact I completely and utterly deserved this award. It was MINE.

My precious...

Another part of my brain was watching this reaction and laughing at the ridiculousness of it. But some deeper, competitive, primal part of me was still experiencing these feelings to quite an intense degree.

Just as I was about to leap up and claim my rightful trophy, they announced Julie Dumbarton was the winner.

For a brief moment I was dumbstruck by this hideous travesty of justice and was about to demand an investigation into the obvious corruption of the judges.

And then the moment passed. Of course Julie was going to win. The same reasons she's already won twice before still existed, and the judgements were based on merit, not past history.

Like looking in the box at Schrödinger's Cat - once the outcome has been witnessed, it has always been thus. All I could do was feel a bit foolish for having thought it could have ever been any other way.

I applauded Julie, now genuinely pleased for her. But I felt a bit disappointed for Doug.

I leaned over and whispered into his ear.

"Let's go and find Julie's car and let her tyres down..."

Whirligig

Ruth Morris and Gavin Marwick make up 2/3 of one of my favourite bands, Bellevue Rendezvous. World-class musicians, they never fail to carry you off to other worlds with performances and music that are nothing short of sublime. They also live locally, regularly play in pub folk sessions and to my absolute delight accepted my invite to my 50th birthday bash last year. They had finished recording their new album "While Rome Burns" the day before and we were all treated to a live performance of it.

More recently Ruth and Gavin have teamed up with the incredibly talented Pete Garnett (of Moishe’s Bagel) to form a ceilidh band called Whirligig, and I was asked if I could do some publicity photos for them.

We decided to go for 2 different kinds of images. Firstly we wanted something that looked cool and professional – a group shot and individual portraits in the same style, while the 2nd needed to be more of an in-action shot to portray the fact they are a band you get up and dance to rather than just sit in your chair and listen.

Ever since the discovery of the edge lighting effect when one of my flashes failed to go off during a shoot a few years ago, I’ve used any excuse I can to replicate the style. However, while I generally manage to achieve the effect I want on one person at a time, trying to get it to work on 3 in the same shot proved trickier. Making sure shadows were not being cast in the wrong places required many shots and the manoeuvring of patient musicians back and forth until I got the balance right.


Whirligig


Gavin Marwick


Pete Garnett


Ruth Morris

After a well-deserved break for lunch, we began the second, more complex shot.

What we’d decided to do was try and create a shot where the 3 of them looked like they were playing to a dancing crowd, but I wanted the audience to be blurry with movement. This meant a long exposure, but in order for the musicians not to be blurred too, they had to remain absolutely motionless for half a second at a time while everyone else swirled back and forth.

It took quite a few attempts, as sometimes one of the dancers would linger too long in front of a musician, or the light balance wasn’t right, or one of the players wobbled a bit. However, we got there in the end and they were pleased with the sense of life and energy in the final image.



If you're needing a first class, world class, ceilidh band for your event, I can't recommend them highly enough.

New Magazine-style Blog Layout

With a backlog of over 1,040 posts, spanning more than 12 years, I've often felt the layout of my blog was limited.

I know regular visitors will only be interested in the latest entry, but for newcomers there are all sorts of gems hidden in the archives which, unless you know exactly what you're looking for, would never be discovered.

My series of interviews with some amazing photographers, for example (under the heading "Chasing Shadows"), include some of the posts I am most proud of.

I also know there are some readers who are less interested in my photography but love the stuff about my family, or are curious about my daughter's Down's Syndrome, or wonder how ME/CFS has impacted on my life.

For a while I've been aware of "magazine-style" layouts for blogs, but finding the time to investigate suitable templates - and then figure out how to install them - has taken a while. And even though I'm reasonably web-savvy, it's still taken me the best part of 2 days to get this far.



However, for the moment I quite like how the new layout looks. There's plenty to explore and easier access to some of the key themes than ever before.

Do dive in and have a rummage around and, if you have a moment, let me know your thoughts about the new look in the comments. Does it excite you with possibilities for your own blog, or does it make you want to run away screaming...?