The blog of photographer Kim Ayres

Apparently I'm the picture of health

"Let's see... according to the blood tests your liver is fine; your kidneys are fine; you don't have any inflammation; glucose levels no problem; cholesterol very good; white blood cells are neither small nor large so that's fine; PSA is perfectly normal... Nothing's flagging up."

"So I have the body of someone a decade younger?"

"Well, you have the body of someone your age who's been looking after their health..."

Following on from my visit to the doctor a few weeks back (see previous post, I Still Have It...), I saw the nurse who took some blood and sent it off for a raft of tests.

Today I returned to see the doctor to discuss the results.

It seems I'm in pretty good shape.

Given I'm now at an age where some people seem to suddenly drop dead unexpectedly ("He was out for a run/eating his breakfast/delivering a powerpoint presentation when he suddenly had a heart attack/fell face first into his rice crispies/went completely blue in the face and dropped to the floor... AND HE WAS ONLY 56!"), it's a great report to get.

But it also means the doctor feels it gives her even more reason to stick to the original CFS/ME diagnosis.

Part of me was really hoping something would show up.

Part of me was also a bit terrified that something would show up.

Let's face it, I wouldn't want the reason for my fatigue being I had some terminal illness with only a few weeks to live.

I guess what I really wanted was something like my zinc levels were low and I could take a daily supplement with my breakfast and miraculously my energy levels would be restored.

But no. It looks like whatever I have is here to stay with no explanation.

Maybe after 15+ years I have to move on to the next stage of grief beyond denial and into anger - but that would take a bit too much energy...


9 comments

savannah said...

Hey, sweetpea! Had to go back and read your earlier post before I commented here. Like Maps, I've known about your condition since I started blogging and found you, so knowing that, it IS good that nothing else has developed! Nothing is easy sometimes, right?

FYI, I just started treatment (Paxovid) for COVID even though I've had 2 vaccines and 3 boosters! Oh well.

xoxo

Kim Ayres said...

Savannah - sorry to hear Covid is hitting you so hard. Hopefully the boosters have mitigated what might have been worse.
As for the CFS - there are plenty of people who suffer with far worse things. And mostly I just get on with it and have normalised it.
Sometimes, however, I just get a bit overwhelmed or pissed off about it and out comes another blog post

Anonymous said...

I totally get why you would be overwhelmed and pushed off! Love you my friend. MAPS.

Anonymous said...

'pissed'

Kim Ayres said...

Thanks MAPS - appreciated :)

Z said...

You'd think there would be something - oh look, a bit of inflammation here - even if there wasn't much they could do about it. Disheartening. Though not bad news, anyway - sorry, I'm not helping here. So you should be pissed off sometimes.

Kim Ayres said...

Z - that's always been the problem - there's nothing showing up. At least they've never accused me of making it all up, like many people with CFS/ME have had to go through

Anonymous said...

Hi Kim
Mixed blessings with good blood results
I have had a similar journal over the last 20years with no definitive diagnosis. Likely CFS
Recently confirmed diagnosis of Fibromyalgia
No "cure" but at last an answer .

Kim Ayres said...

Anonymous - sorry to hear of your condition - I hope you find ways to minimise its impact on your life.
By the way, if you do post here again, please leave a name - it always makes it easier to engage :)

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