Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Crystal Wedding Anniversary

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Depending on where you look, it’s estimated that the average wedding cost these days is anywhere between £15,000 and £25,000

15 years ago today, Maggie and I were married on a budget of less than 1% of that

I was unemployed and we had no money, so every penny had to be accounted for.

We married in a registry office (neither of us are religious, so a church ceremony would never have happened anyway); we only had immediate family in attendance; we sorted all the food ourselves (I was still chopping carrot sticks when people started turning up); and even our wedding rings were silver Celtic-knot style bands that cost less than £10 each (which we still wear).

We’ve still never been able to afford a honeymoon.

But was it “less than”? Absolutely not. Our wedding day was wonderful and still ranks as one of the happiest days of our lives.

For those who love a tale of romance and want to know why we got married, take a look at my blog post from 5 years ago – Tin Wedding Anniversary. And for those who are interested in what our lives were like in 1995, or wish to see what we looked like, then visit my blog post on our 14th wedding anniversary, which I wrote last year.
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39 comments:

mapstew said...

Congrats Kim & Maggie! love is all you need? :¬)

(Fortunately there are still some people who are going 'all out' and having the 'Big Day', and keeping me and my gang fed!) :¬)

Kim Ayres said...

Well, I guess it also helped that both me and my brother-in-law could play the guitar; everyone prefers Tesco's "chocolate meringue gateau" to wedding cake anyway; and Maggie dyed her own hair :)

Pat said...

I sometimes think the more money spent on a wedding the shorter the length of the marriage.
I wouldn't want musicians to lose out but what a load of unnecessary guff is expected for the Barbie like girl's Big Day.
I think it is sad that many young couples are frightened off marriage because of the enormous cost taken as the norm.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Awwww thats so romantic. Happy Anniversary.

debra said...

Wishing you peaceful, happy, joyous and loving days, Kim and Maggie.

Brave Astronaut said...

Happy Anniversary Kim and Maggie! All the best always and you have each other - so you are pretty much there!

belfast cabby said...

Happy anniversary fella,
To many folks get caught up in hype around the day spending obscene amounts of money.
All thats needed for a great wedding day is a bride and groom who love each other and a few good friends.

litzi said...

Hi Kim,
Happy Anniversary!

It’s rather surprising that weddings are still so exorbitant, given the global financial meltdown. It would be more prudent for a young couple starting off to forgo the unnecessary expenses and put the cash towards something practical, like a down payment on a house. Marriage is enough of an adjustment without adding mountains of debt to the situation…

savannah said...

Happy Anniversary, Maggie & Kim! xoxoxoxo

Lee Ann said...

Happy Anniversary!

michael greenwell said...

Congratulations to you both.

Se2 said...

wish both of you a very happy life still ahead....:)

Charlene said...

Thank you for sharing that with us.

I guess I should write about what life was like in 1971 when I got married in the church and our wedding cost $500. At that time people in our circle of friends were having $5000 weddings.

Carole said...

Happy Anniversary. I had to go back and read both previous posts because I am a sap for a good love story and because I missed them both.

My favorite part (I know, who cares what I think) is where you describe love as such a big word but after being with Maggie it seems like the smallest word and it can't possibly describe how you feel. Good stuff.

Falak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Falak said...

Congratulations Kim and Maggie! Best wishes and regards....

Lynne said...

Congrats and happy anniversary Kim and Maggie.

Aoife.Troxel said...

Happy Anniversary :)
My mother paid for her dress the same amount now almost guaranteed to be spent on shoes alone.
Their budget wasn't much more than yours; it was an outdoor wedding...their twentieth anniversary is this October 21st. :D
Can anyone explain why having something at half the price for the same enjoyment and love is worse than blowing lots of cash? Because apparently it is nowadays, I notice it among all my peers.
P.S. Your wedding bands sound very nice.

V said...

Happy Anniversary! Lovely to have your old posts here as a testament to some of the journey, V

Thrup'ny bits said...

Congratulations . . .
and snap, although we're celebrating Silver.

Alan

hope said...

Congratulations!

I wonder how many bride, like myself, would've loved to ditch the family and just elope? Oh they mean well but my Mom had Mother-of-the-Bride so bad I feared she'd knock me out of the way at the ceremony to show me how it was done.

You're right..it's the caliber of the person you choose. :)

Tiffin said...

Congratulations, Kim and Maggie! We did our own wedding too: pot luck in our garden with all the family bringing food, while we provided the bubbly. 31 years later I don't regret doing it simply, not one bit. We've never had a "honeymoon" either but if your honey still sends you over the moon, you can't beat that. Hope you get old and wonderful together.

Elizabeth Seaver said...

Well said! I'm afraid there is too much of the need to impress others in this wild spending which I'll bet they can't afford, either.

Ponita in Real Life said...

A very hearty congratulations to you and Maggie, Kim!

Weddings these days are obscenely expensive. I cannot believe what some people spend... having watched some of those shows where the bride is picking her gown (and is thrilled when it is 'one sale' for a mere $8,000), I just about lose it when they whine and cry because they want the really expensive dress! WTF for???? You only wear the damn thing once!!!

Of course, I AM glad that people do go all out, because we don't want Map out of a job. ;-)

Roschelle said...

where there is love money always takes the back seat! Congratulations! Wishing you guys many many many more!!!

Mary Witzl said...

Congratulations to you both!

What Pat said. I still shudder to remember all the hoopla over Charles & Diana getting married -- and look how that turned out. At the time, so many people had stars in their eyes about how romantic it all was, but I thought to myself how awful it would be if after all that nonsense, the marriage didn't work out.

I hennaed my own hair the night before I got married. And we proudly posed in front of Ichikawa City Hall after a wedding breakfast at Denny's. But it was one of the best days of our lives too.

Real romance costs virtually nothing. It's all the patience and devotion you have to pay with later...

Kim Ayres said...

Pat - I remember 25 years ago going to my cousin's wedding - a huge affair that cost in the region of £10,000 even then. I don't think they lasted more than 5 years together. It's not that I think there is a relationship between the money spent and the speediness of divorce, but I do wonder if massive weddings might set up unrealistic expectations of marriage.

Gillian - thank you :)

Debra - thank you :)

Brave Astronaut - thank you :)

Belfast Cabby - and a band - we wouldn't want to put Map out of a job :)

Litzi - but it's in the interests of consumerism that as much money is wasted as is possible. Don't forget, it's your patriotic duty to spend as much money as you can to kick-start the economy again!

Savannah - thank you :)

Lee Ann - thank you :)

Michael - thank you :)

Se2 - thank you :)

Charlene - $5k in 1971? You must have been moving in wealthy circles...

Carole - I still feel the same way about that. It's amazing how big a word "love" seemed before I dared to use it, and yet the word barely scratches the surface of the true emotions now.

Falak - thank you :)

Lynne - thank you :)

Aoife - spending twice (or more) for something that brings no extra enjoyment is just plain nuts :)

V - thank you :)

Alan - congratulations! 25 is one of the big ones - hope you have/had a great day :)

Hope - fortunately neither sets of parents thought of intervening. I dread to think of the emotional blackmail and pressure that must be there for some families.

Tiffin - pot luck in the garden sounds ideal - much more intimate and special :)

Elizabeth - it's true. But the only person you need to impress is your partner - and if they're marrying you they're already impressed :)

Ponita - they might get to use the dress once more - if you've not seen it before, google "trash the dress" - it's where couples will have shots taken, perhaps on an anniversary, but done in such a way that the original dress is trashed - perhaps wading in the sea, or riding on a motorbike etc

Roschelle - thank you :)

Mary - I do wonder if people who dress up in all this extremely expensive gear do feel any better. I wonder if it might actually just make them feel like they are someone else playing a role, which is not the best way to start a marriage :)

Mimi and Tilly said...

Happy anniversary. I love real love stories. I met my Significant Other eight years ago and we have our six year anniversary of being together on Sunday this week. I love him very much. x
P.S. I couldn't find that piece of music you recommended anywhere on line, and now my curiosity has been piqued!

Jayne Martin said...

Happy Anniversary,my friend. Wishing you and Maggie many more happy years together.

Hindsfeet said...

wow....this was kinda cool, Kim....I did go back and read your 14th anniv post, simply because I remembered it well...I think, I *think* that was the first, or at least one of the first posts of yours I ever read....that or the Bramble story....loved both and was hooked....

Can't believe I've been reading your stuff for a year now....

huh.....

so, uh, happy anniversary, on both counts.

haha ; )

(no disrespect meant, Maggie! ; ) )

Lisa Page Rosenberg said...

Happy Anniversary!
I remember from last year that your wedding anniversary is the same day as the anniversary of when my husband and I met...

I have been thinking of you so much in the last day. I was the Google Blogger Blog of Note yesterday and when it happened, I immediately thought of you and your post about how after the initial craziness, it all went back to normal, a reality and ego check. Thank you for that.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Congrats on the big day!

Love the links back to your earlier anniversary posts, how fun to read!

erika said...

Happy Anniversary Kim and Maggie! Your wedding anniversary post and picture from last year really stuck with me, it was so incredibly sweet. That photo makes me smile every time, you are just beaming. It's obvious that you and Maggie are just meant to be :)

angryparsnip said...

I'm late but
Congratulations !
and many more Happy Anniversary's to come.

cheers, parsnip

Lisa said...

Happy Anniversary and wishing you both many more to come!!

Kim Ayres said...

Emma - Happy Anniversary for Sunday! Do see if you can find the piece of music - it is so hauntingly beautiful.

Jayne - thank you :)

Hindsfeet - After a year of readin you're still coming back for more? A sucker for punishment...

Lisa - Congrats on your own anniversary, and congrats again for getting blogs of note! Have your visitor stats gone a little crazy?

Brahm - thanks :)

Erika - it's usually my haircut that makes most people smile... :)

Parsnip - thank you :)

Lisa - thank you :)

Jasmine said...

15 years is a great accomplishment. Happy (belated) anniversary to the two of you and here's to another 15+ more!

Eryl said...

Terribly sorry I missed congratulating you on the day, but congratulations, now, anyway and I hope you had a lovely day.

Kim Ayres said...

Jasmine - thank you :)

Eryl - thank you, and yes we did :)