The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

Election shock!

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In a massive surprise, the population woke up this morning to discover politicians had been elected to govern the UK.

People have been seen shuffling aimlessly about the streets, wearing pyjamas and dressing gowns and clutching cups of tea, with looks of shock and disbelief on their faces.

“I think we’ve all been duped,” said Castle Douglas man, Kim Ayres. “Of course, when you think about it, we should have seen it coming. But we didn’t. Politicians…” At this point he gave an involuntary shudder.

When asked who he thought we’d all been voting for, a look of stark confusion spread across his face. “I dunno really. Real people, I think. I mean, you know, people with feelings. People who care about more than just themselves. Personally I was hoping that nice woman in the post office would get in. She always gives me a warm smile and helps me work out the best way to send a parcel.”

At this point our attention was drawn to the upper window as Mrs Ayres, a local mixed media and textile artist, was seen leaning out screaming, “Bastards! Politician scum!” A small cheer went up from a group of OAPS on the other side of the road

Scenes like this are being echoed across the country as it is slowly dawning on the population of the UK that it could be years before they get another chance oust politicians once and for all.
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21 comments

Eryl Shields said...

I can't imagine Maggie shouting at all, let alone 'bastards!'

Carole said...

Unfortunate. I've heard rumors that politicians use a cloaking device to make it look like they care--but that once an election is over it dissapates.

TechnoBabe said...

We have been hearing so much about the election over there, are you glad it is over?

savannah said...

the MITM wants to know if televising the debate affected the outcome of the election. it's old news for us, but it would interesting to get your perspective. xoxoxo


(btw, thanks for your kind words yesterday.)

Charlie said...

I sure hope that nice lady from the post office got in—she sounds so caring and real.

Kim Ayres said...

Eryl - it's what you call a very well developed public persona...

Carole - It's an interesting concept - I've heard of this, but a different word was used for it... let me think... oh yes, that was it... Lying!

Technobabe - with all the talk of coalition governments, I fear it's just begin

Savannah - they reckon the televised debate reinvigorated the election because people suddenly remembered there was a third party, whose leader seemed quite pleasant and reasonable. But in the end, the fear tactics of the other 2 parties worked - people voted Labour or Conservatives because they hated the other one too much to risk them getting or staying in. So despite the initial flurry of interest, the Liberal Democrats didn't win any extra seats

Charlie - if only she had.

Pat said...

'it could be years before they get another chance oust politicians once and for all.'
Or next week maybe.
Why don't all the people in Scotland get together and sing to Gordon Brown 'Will ye no come back again?'
Puleeze!

hope said...

Ah, we all have dreams, don't we? A world without politicians is a good place to start. ;)

Ron Tipton said...

We have a former presidential candidate who is looking for a new venue. Perhaps he could provide a "fresh face" for your political scene. You may know him. His name is John Edwards. He has nice hair.

Mimi and Tilly said...

I really enjoyed reading this, especially hearing about Mrs Ayres shouting from the window. I don't think there's enough of that. You made me laugh out loud this morning. Thank you. I was one of those confused people in pyjamas yesterday. But only cos I was having an off day energy wise.

Mary Witzl said...

But then again, with Labour like you've had for the past ten plus years, who needs Tories or Conservatives? Maybe we'll all get lucky and these guys will be just like Labour?

Ah, I've always been a dreamer.

erika said...

Oh, this is seriously funny :)

Carole said...

On the bright side I just got my copy of Staring Back. I am all atwitter with excitement. John grabbed it first and he is enjoying it. But I know I will get a peek at it soon.

He is oohing and aahing. Grr.

Kim Ayres said...

Pat - we could send Alex Salmond from the SNP down to run the country. He always looks like he's having so much fun in charge of the Scottish parliament :)

Hope - the problem with the name you use for blogging is it makes it very difficult to say "we live in hope" without sounding a bit odd...

Ron - wasn't he the one who let George W get the biggest vote of any US president in history?

Emma - unfortunately I have to admit it's the default state for me. Occasionally I have greater moments of lucidity and am able to blog or write comments. But as bloggers only see/read me when I'm lucid enough to write, I sometimes thing most people have an entirely false impression of me.

Mary - one of the problems is they've only been wheeling out the moderate Tories since they realised an election would have to be soon. But I heard Michael Howard being interviewed yesterday, and all the old feelings from last time they were in power came flooding back

Erika - thank you :) It just poured out onto the page like I was just a conduit rather than the creator of it. Something must have decided it needed to be written... :)

Carole - you have the book? That was quick! I do hope it's OK

pilgrimchick said...

This is one of the few times when we actually hear about the UK over here in the US. I wonder if we'll hear more about a resolution to the hung Parliament on Monday, or whether this will go on for a while.

Jayne Martin said...

Not to worry. Eventually, Oprah is going to rule the entire world anyway. I understand she'll be giving everyone a car.

Kim Ayres said...

Pilgrimchick - it seems like they've sorted something out.

Jayne - so long as they are electric or solar powered cars...

Alice said...

Just wanted to leave a comment that this made me laugh out loud. I love it! And in response to your subsequent post, I do hope you soon return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Kim Ayres said...

Thanks Alice :)

~:C:~ said...

This post made me laugh out loud. Except that the laugh came out sounding more like a snort, due to my congested sinuses. Ow. Thanks, Kim.

Kim Ayres said...

~:C:~ - nae bother lass :)

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