The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

Hole in my shoe

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I have a hole in my shoe.

Not a big one that lets in the water and makes my socks wet, just a small one in the heel where it has worn through to an air pocket.

If it’s a dry day no one knows.

However, if the ground is damp, each step makes a noise like a queef.

Which might be more embarrassing if more people knew what that was.
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21 comments

Debby said...

I know what that is. I too have experienced a heel problem like that. Quite embarrassing!

Sayre said...

I know... comes of growing up with an English father.

Anna van Schurman said...

We call my cousin "queen queef." I don't know why. I mean, I know what it is but my knowledge of her is more limited than that would suggest. I think my sister started it when they roomed together at college. They are two of the dirtiest girls I know. Nothing anyone says can't be made dirty. Embarrassingly so. I think you're just hanging around with the wrong people. ;)

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Haha :D

That is all :D

karatemom said...

OMG ..LMAO..too funny ( and so bad).

Conan Drumm said...

Is a queef worse than a phfffffft...?

Kim Ayres said...

Debby - welcome to my ramblings and thank you for taking the time to comment :)

Sayre - and yet, it doesn't appear to be in the English Scrabble dictionary...

Anna - I can imagine "Queen Queef" being the kind ofname picked up by kids and yelled around the playground without ever knowing what it means

FLG - :)

KatateMom - :)

Conan - that all depends on your definition of a phfffffft...

Eryl Shields said...

I have no idea what it means so you'll have to explain. It's a good word though, sounds Anglo-Saxon. I used to have a pair of purple suede boots, which I loved, but I had to stop wearing them because they made horrendous farty sounds if I walked on polished floors.

savannah said...

suddenly, i feel as if i'm 10 again! *snickering* he said queef! this side of the pond it was pooted nobody said "fart" out loud anyway

Phil said...

I have a shoe that I have to wear due to safety reasons, that makes a sound as if I have a prosthetic leg with every step.

Yes, I could buy a new pair, but that would mean that I wouldn't get my moneys worth out of this pair. And I am way too cheap to do that.

Namaste.

debra said...

I'm with Eryl-----I don't get it

Kim Ayres said...

Eryl - well it sounds like you're halfway to understanding. Besides, I don't believe an intelligent person like you wouldn't have googled the term

Savannah - I remember a kid getting into trouble in primary school for saying "fart" to the teacher. Meanwhile, while you were aware of queef when you were 10, I have to admit I was in my mid-thirties before I'd heard of the term

Phil - sounds ideal for clumping down the hallway, scaring small children. Ideal for Halloween at the end of the month

Debra - another intelligent person who hasn't Googled or Wikied the term?

savannah said...

(don't ask me why, sugarpie, but i'm gonna explain my earlier comment)

i didn't know the word "queef" when i was 10. like you, i was an adult before i heard the word. what i meant was talking about flatulence reminded of my youth and school yard humor. xoxo

MaLady said...

Oh my. Maybe you shouldn't lead us to the terrors of the internet! I googled the term. But "how to" videos, Howard Stern's "queefing contest", some guy with "queef as beer" - a special brew with a special type of yeast. I didn't click any link and I still have much more information than I need to understand your shoe predicament. Oh my.

I'm laughing at your guts but it's just one more way to prove that we really are infidels...

debra said...

well, I kind of figured it was about farts.....
and I was ready to google it, but I thought your response would be more fun :-)

Carole said...

So sad when I find my queefing comment didn't post. Oh well, now I can't remember it.

michael greenwell said...

i have still got that record!

Kim Ayres said...

Savannah - it's OK, I wasn't judging you :)

MaLady - Wikipedia would probably have been a safer bet :)

Debra - "look it up" has got me out of all sorts of potentially embarrassing questions before now ;)

Carole - well if you do remember, be sure to post it :)

Michael - is that the Neil from the Young Ones version, or ther earlier 60s original?

Mary Witzl said...

I've got two shoes like that. I make sure to tell everyone that it is the shoes that are making the noise, not me. Frankly, they come in pretty handy sometimes, too.

PI said...

It took me ages to find Wikopedia and then I forgot how to spell it. However think of the play 'V----- Monologues'.
Would you say Kim?
I haven't seen it BTW.

Kim Ayres said...

Mary - are they a pair, or is it only one each in two pairs?

Pat - I think it's a step up from a farty sound to having a conversation...

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