The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

A Man in His Prime

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Since The Fatigue has taken hold over the past couple of years, there have been precious few opportunities to reassert my dwindling sense of manhood.

Here I am, apparently in the prime of my life yet without the energy and drive to run for President, kill a wild boar with my bare hands, or race my son to the end of the garden.

Instead of being a testosterone fuelled Alpha Male, I’d rather have an afternoon nap.

However, today I was able to recapture some of that lost pride.

Today I was able to show I am still a man who can fulfil his manly duties.

Today I assembled a wardrobe in the bedroom.

Without an instruction booklet.

Hah! Who’s the daddy!
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21 comments

gimme a minute said...

Let's give it a few days before we pronounce on that, shall we?

Christ, I sound like my mother.We can rule out my being the daddy.

Anna van Schurman said...

Phew. After reading that first sentence I thought this post was going to be about sex. And then I had to translate the word wardrobe. I liked it better when I imagined you putting together a few outfits. ;)

MaLady said...

Some of us have it, some of us don't. ;) I use the instructions. I'd never make it as a feminist.

Eryl Shields said...

Why did you not use the instructions, is it a man thing, or had you lost them? Well done, anyway.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

You de maaaaaaan!

Tom said...

I took four trips to Ikea this week... not sure if I'm the daddy or just a slave to consumerism.

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Aye! We don't need no stinking instruction booklets! Instruction booklets are only for when you've cocked it up and destroyed something, and even then it's only to compare how well you destroyed it. :D

Kim Ayres said...

Gimme - I thought you were on holiday! Welcome back. Wardrobe is still standing 24 hours later - a success by my standards

Anna - however I look at it I still can't mak a euphemism out of assembling a wardrobe. However, perhaps you should know I had to rewrite a different sentence which mentioned my manhood taking a blow...

Malady - my school Physics teacher always used to say, "If all else fails, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS!"

Eryl - The wardrobe was already in the house when we got here, but in Maggie's studio room. Because she needed the space in her studio for the Spring Fling exhibition I took it apart. I was about to smash it when I noticed the Ikea-style screws and figured we might be able to reassemble it later. So, no instruction booklet, just a familiarity with Ikea-style construction and a brain with good spacial awareness.

Daphne - yay, groupie!

Tom - 4 trips? Sounds more like forgetfulness...

FLG - I like your thinking

Namaste said...

Absolutely brilliant!

Kim Ayres said...

Thangew, thangew (takes a bow)

savannah said...

here's the deal, sugar....bookshelves, cabinets and re-doing a table. are you interested? xoxox

Kim Ayres said...

Savannah - if the cabinets and table come from Ikea, I'm yer man. But if you want level shelves you'll need to ask my wife.

Mary Witzl said...

I am so practically challenged that even managing to assemble Ikea stuff WITH the instructions is a feat for me to preen over. So I'm in AWE of you for being able to put together a wardrobe sans written instructions, and oh, the envy!

I assembled our Ikea chairs and they've since gotten a little loose. Unkind comments have been made about my DIY prowress and I just remind the complainers that they can do the next lot themselves.

PI said...

You ARE the man!
Y'see Daphne's done it again. She's ALWAYS stealing my thunder and she's my junior. Flippin' cheek!
My # 2 son cheekily taught me RTFM.

problemchildbride said...

RTFM, Pat?

I thought this was going to be about sex too. I was just settling in nicely for a bit of Tuesday morning sauciness and then...a wardrobe. Not that I'm not pleased about the wardrobe. I am. Well done. You da man, yo!

Attila The Mom said...

You the man!! Whoohoo!

Kim Ayres said...

Mary - I think it's down to playing with lego when I was a kid

Pat - to RTFM feels somehow like a mild defeat - like needing a spear rather than bare hands to bring down a wild boar...

Sam - There's a limit to how much I could write about sex here as firstly, my wife would object; secondly, my son periodically glances over this blog now, especially since he set up his own; and thirdly, writing decent sex scenes seems to be near impossibility

Atilla - high five!

Conan Drumm said...

I'm doing that mutual abdominal bumping thing in the direction of the screen [with my fists in the air]

Yo da man wit da scru-drivah!!

Kim Ayres said...

Yay! I is da man!

Doug Dog said...

You’re the daddy! Ignoring the instruction booklet is sooo manly. My significant other uses that word a lot, mostly in jest. The fun part is, after we’ve been so manly and gotten the proper accolades, we’ll be required to change course and switch to our sensitive nature. Boggles the mind!!

Kim Ayres said...

Strong, powerful and confident, yet warm, caring and sensitive; prepared to kill to defend wife and children, yet also able to cry tears of happiness at the birth of a child.

Aren't all men like that?

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