Friday, July 25, 2008

Fear

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There’s no doubt, fear can be a useful emotion: it stops us doing bloody stupid things like leaping off a tall building, trying to fight a lion with our bare hands, or dangling our dangly bits over a tub of scorpions.

But sometimes, fear is restrictive; fear holds us back from doing things that are not dangerous, just outside our comfort zone. Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of not living up to expectations. And if we never push ourselves to overcome these fears, our lives are duller, more restrictive and ultimately unfulfilling.

Some fears, then, act as a warning, while others stifle our growth.

The problem is not always knowing which are which.

Sigh.
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17 comments:

Mama S said...

I read a quote once, although I don't remember who said it. It was "Feel the fear and do it anyway."

Of course this doesn't apply when it comes to dangly bits and scorpions...but it certainly does come in handy with the comfort zone fears. As soon as you figure out which is which. :)

Fat Lazy Guy said...

It's the "doing it anyway" that I have trouble with. Much easier to say than to do :D

Maddy said...

You and me both dearie, how to strike a balance between the two.
Best wishes

Kanani said...

I think it really helps to have a guide --someone not directly attached to your situation, but can put aside all the baggage and help you through a particular situation.

Fear is big, and often it's not acknowledged.

ArleneWKW said...

Gosh, Kim, I hope you'll easily sort out whatever type of fear it is.

Mary Witzl said...

I hope you'll sort it out too!

When I look back on my life, I've done some unbelievably reckless, stupid things. Like leaving a really well-paid job to come to Scotland and run a B & B. Ahem. But if we'd never tried it --- well, we wouldn't be out a massive amount of money and grappling to do menial jobs. Sigh.

Really, I think talking it over, thinking about it endlessly, researching, planning, rethinking -- then saying "Oh what the hell" and going for broke -- there's a lot to be said for all of that. At some point, you really do have to free fall, and it can be tough, but it can also be a little exhilerating.

Kim Ayres said...

Mama S - it's the knowing which is which where the complications lie :) Welcome to my ramblings!

FLG - this is true, but if we don't make changes, our lives will never change

Maddy - welcome to my ramblings and thank you for taking the time to comment :)

Kanani - I've been looking for a guide or guru all my adult life. Never found one yet.

Arlene - sooner or later, no doubt :)

Mary - maybe it's nearing the time for another leap?

Trooper Thorn said...

Always listen to the fear when it involves the dangly bits. That's what keeps them dangling.

Kim Ayres said...

Trooper Thorn - welcome to my ramblings - it's a rare thing to have 3 new commenters on one post, but that doesn't make you any less welcome. In fact you strike me as the kind of guy who understands the need to keep the dangly bits safe.

PI said...

I regret I am a big fearful wimp.

PI said...

Oh and if we're quoting:
'There is nothing to fear but fear itself.'
Right.

Kim Ayres said...

Having read various bits about your life and things you've had to deal with and overcome, Pat, I don't believe you.

As for quotes, "he had decided to live forever or die in the attempt" was always a favourite of mine

MaLady said...

oh fear - that awful clawing grasp that surrounds the soul's heart squashing the beat of it to a stifled, uneven rhythm.

"perfect love chases away all fear" - my favorite quote on the subject

Doug Dog said...

Hi Kim,

Yes, these lesser accepted fears can be very restrictive. I’ve discovered that as I age, many of these fears become less so; life can be too short anyway, so why worry as much.

I do share your exception about protecting one’s “dangly bits”, however!

Kim Ayres said...

Malady - Perfect love chases aways fears about not being loved, but there are a few things it doesn't cover...

Doug Dog - of course "life's too short" can be a fear in itself...

Freakazojd said...

I hear you...this is my biggest personal struggle on a day-to-day basis. Immensely frustrating, and increasingly so, because I am more aware of it now, even as it is happening, sometimes, and have not figured out a way to "re-pattern" myself yet. ARRRRR...

Kim Ayres said...

Freakazojd - in order to re-pattern, it helps if you have a goal, which you then need to make as powerful and clear in your mind as possible