Sunday, June 15, 2008

Father's Day

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Father’s Day didn’t exist in our house when I was a child. Maybe it was around and my family didn’t buy into it, or maybe it’s a more recent retail opportunity. However you can be certain I exploit it for all it’s worth.

Yes, it’s Father’s Day on Sunday and don’t forget it kids. If you want to be sure I’ll still love you until my birthday- your next opportunity to show your love and devotion in 4 months time – you’d better do something to make me feel good about being a Dad.

Mind you, I no longer wear ties – not that I would ever have worn one with Homer Simpson on it anyway – and I prefer my socks plain. I didn’t like 80’s music back in the 80s and it certainly hasn’t improved with age so don’t even think about getting me any of those “Sounds of the New Romantics” CDs with “Don’t forget Father’s Day on the 15th June” stickers on. And a pack of blank DVDs – how dull and unimaginative. What do you mean your pocket money won’t stretch to the box set of “Dexter” Season One?

Yes, I did see the local beauty salon had a Father’s Day sticker in the window, next to some photos of rather unmasculine looking metrosexuals, but if you think for a single moment I would countenance the idea of a back, sac ‘n’ crack wax, then you need your head examined.

But wait, what’s this? Hand made cards from my children and grandchildren? Fond wishes and incredibly warm words from my stepchildren?

No, no, I’ve just got something in my eye, I’ll be fine in a moment…



Who’s the daddy!




Wot? No cake?
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13 comments:

Carole said...

Have a great day and enjoy your cards, foot rubs, giggles, spills, hugs, and everything else that goes along with.

ADW said...

Have a hell of a Father's Day!!!

I hope you get the sac 'n crack wax for the blog fodder alone. Pictures please.

Anna van Schurman said...

Man, your kids are so lucky they have four months to think of some other crap to get you. My father's birthday is next week! (Happy father's day)

Could the world help me out here with rescheduling mother's day so that, like father's day, it coincides in the US and the UK. Many thanks...

Dr Maroon said...

I dunno, I'd go for that waxing; just saying that's all. Handmade cards do bring a tear to a glass eye right enough, the trouble is the amoral mercenary little ratbags know this. It's not beyond them to throw in the odd cutesy spelling mistake as well. Walt Disney is an amatuer by comparison. It's only later (after Christmas) that you'll find out that they blew the money Mother gave them on cider and magazines.


And what's not to like about the new romantics? Wise up man, get your Bono boots down from the loft, borrow a headscarf (makes a crackerjack neckerchief) and white blouse off your good lady and get on down!

savannah said...

how sweet they are, sugar! the MITM got someecards from his brood! ;-)
xoxo

PI said...

Grandchildren? Have you been keeping something from me?

Eryl Shields said...

How can you not want a 'back, sac 'n crack' wax?

And I think an answer to Pat's question is in order here.

Kim Ayres said...

Carole - I had a great day thanks, including a batch of Rogan's homemade cookies. No one offered a foot rub though...

ADW - no, no and triple no - waxing is a step too far

Anna VS - I'm surprised the global retail card industry hasn't managed to achieve a world wide uniformity yet.

Dr Maroon - OK, next time we meet up, let'sdo an 80s revival. you can be a New Romantic and I'll be a Goth.

Savannah - I have to admit, I do love being a Dad

Pat - I've kept nothing from you - there are mentions of them every now and again. But for the record:

I have 2 children (Rogan and Meg), and 3 stepchildren (I'll only mention their names if they give me permission) from Maggie's previous marriage. They are all in their 20s now (although were all under 10 when I first met them) and my eldest stepdaughter has 2 children of her own - thus my grandchildren.

Although the "step" part of the relationship does exist, as Maggie and I have been together so long, and I've been involved with them all growing up, it does feel superfluous these days, so we've dispensed with it for the grandchildren. They both call me grandad and give me hugs when we visit.

So yes, I've been a grandfather for 4 and a half years now :)

Eryl - how can anyone want a back, sac 'n' crack wax?

Ouch...

Dr Maroon said...

I KNEW you were a goth!!!!!

Kim Ayres said...

Actually I was a headbanger with long hair and a denim jacket, and my school bag was covered in names of heavy metal bands. However, I did think the goths looked a bit cool. Or rather the goth lassies did. The lads looked like prats to be honest

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Happy fathers day for then, i.e. the day that was fathers day. :D

Mary Witzl said...

Tell me that wax thing for men is just something funny you thought up, Kim. Tell me there is no such place that actually offers that. Then I can wipe this horrified look off my face.

Father's and Mother's Day are not observed in this household. I reckon we missed out, but it's too late now. I do enjoy watching the kids squirm when their friends ask them what they bought us, though.

Kim Ayres said...

FLG - thank you :)

Mary - sorry, but it's for real. Google it, if you have the stomach (or want to treat/threaten Mr Witzl at some point...)