In these days of environmental awareness, global warming and the introduction of the term “carbon footprint” into the English language, the search for renewable, less damaging energy sources is underway. Money, time and thought has been invested into solar power, wind power, tidal power, electric cars and even bio-fuel as a way to help reduce carbon emissions. However, each alternative is beset with its own problems and limitations.
Nuclear power may emit zero carbon, but as the waste products will still be a health hazard 250,000 years from now, not everyone is convinced by government enthusiasm about building more stations.
Wind, tidal and solar powers are all dependent on the weather, which is unpredictable at the best of times.
Electric cars require plugging into the mains electricity system, which is still mostly generated by environmentally unfriendly coal, oil, gas or nuclear power.
Even bio-fuel, hailed as the renewable alternative to oil, is not without its problems, when the growing of appropriate plants has impacted on issues such as deforestation, human rights, the food vs fuel debate and water resources, to name a few. And, of course, bio-fuels have other emissions beyond carbon, which also damage the atmosphere.
However, here in the Ayres household, we have discovered a new potential, renewable, environmentally friendly, zero carbon emission, portable energy supply, where each unit is active for several years.
It is The Hot Flush.
Yes indeed, you heard it here first, Ladies and Gentlemen. Menopausal women are the energy source of the future.
Cars, buses, trains, planes, schools, hospitals and government buildings across the land always contain a number of women of a certain age, just waiting to feel appreciated.
Thinking of building that extension to make a granny-flat for the mother-in-law once the mortgage is paid off? Build it now and tap into this vital resource, before it’s too late.
Women of the world, forget HRT and attempting to compete with surgically enhanced celebrities trying to look forever youthful, and embrace the third age of womanhood with pride and a sense of empowerment. Never has humanity, nay, the future of the entire planet, needed you so much.
Now all we need is an rocket scientist* to help design the power converters and we will save the world!
*Where’s Dr Maroon when you need him?