When you go for a coffee, right, and they give you a choice between your espresso, latte, americano etc, all they really do is make up an espresso and add bits to it. So your latte is basically just an espresso with hot milk in a tall glass, while your cappuccino is an espresso with frothy milk and a shuggle of chocolate powder on top.
OK, I can accept that. But what really pisses me right off is that your "Americano", or bog-standard coffee as it's known to you and me, is just an espresso with hot water added. Now I could just about cope with that, right, if they didn't want to charge me an extra 50p for it!
So what I've decided I'm going to do, right, is make up a small flask of hot water, which I can carry with me in the large inside pocket of my coat, right? And then I'm going to ask for an espresso... but in a large cup.
Then, once the waitress has turned her back I can top it up with my own hot water and I'll have saved myself 50p.
OK, I can hear you saying that 50p isn't much, but think about it - if I was to do this, say twice a week for a year, then I'd end up saving myself over 50 quid, right?
In fact, we could take this further! If I'm out with someone, I could ask for a double espresso... and 2 large cups.
Sometimes I astound myself with my geniusness.
When I mentioned this to Maggie, she gave me one of "those looks" and told me I ought to talk to my doctor about the meds I'm on. I've heard placebos are very effective so I've decided to ask him to prescribe me some of them.