Ah, Mr Ayres. Yes, do come in. Take a seat. Can I get you anything? A cup of tea perhaps? No? Ok, I’ll come straight to the point.
I’m afraid there’s been a bit of a cock-up. You see, you’ve been given the wrong emotions. Don’t worry, we’ve got our people working on it, but it might still be a day or two before we’ve got it completely sorted out.
Have you noticed anything slightly amiss? Been feeling a little tetchy and irritable but not sure why?
Really Mr Ayres, there’s no need to take that tone with me. I most certainly was not being patronising. I think I can probably tick the box for paranoia too. This sheet? No it’s just so I can make a note of the emotions you’ve been feeling. No, Mr Ayres, it will not be available to any ‘Tom, Dick or Harry’ that asks.
How about fear and nervousness? You can come out from behind the chair, Mr Ayres, no one’s going to hurt you. That was just the pipes knocking. Happens all the time in these old buildings. You’re perfectly safe, I can assure you.
To answer your question, you were mistakenly assigned the emotions of Nora Huggins. Her postcode has a difference of one letter and it was a simple clerical error. She’s been going through a bit of a rough patch lately, which is why you’re finding all your emotions heightened and somewhat exaggerated.
We’re doing all we can to correct the mistake but in the meantime would ask for a little bit of patience and understanding from you, even if we did assign those to Mrs Huggins by mistake...
Did you ever have a day when it felt like your emotions weren’t your own, so were completely beyond your ability to do anything about them?
I’m assuming it’s a side effect of the anti-depressants as they bed themselves in and it will pass in a day or two. If not I’m going to have to find Mrs Huggins and see what mood I would have been in…