Using broad stereotypes and clichés for the purposes of this post, we all know that the majority of men, and I include myself here, are pretty clueless when it comes to buying gifts for women. The male brain is wired to be more linear and direct. What’s the point of buying flowers or chocolates as a gift? They’re transient: flowers will be dead in a few days and chocolates will be eaten. A toaster, iron or drill set, on the other hand, could still be working years from now. And if you could buy an iron that could also toast and drill at the same time, well, how brilliant would that be?
I eventually learned that buying flowers for Maggie was a good thing, not because I ever understood why, but because she was always so delighted when I did. That and the fact that she made it perfectly clear on many, many occasions that the basic rule of thumb is, if it’s practical then she probably wouldn’t want it as a present.
So hats off to whomever in the Tesco Marketing Department came up with the slogan, Tesco Belgian Chocolates: HALF PRICE! Talk about an insightful piece of targeted marketing with Valentine’s Day just around the corner.
Most blokes have heard that chocolate is probably a good idea, although this is confusing as most women are also on a diet and worrying about the size of their posterior. However, these are suitably packaged in a romantic, girly kind of way to reassure the guy that it is exactly what he should be buying, but to make it HALF PRICE means it appeals directly to his practical nature. Genius.
The only thing left he has to work out is whether she will know about this offer. If she doesn’t he only has to buy the one, but if she does, he’d better buy her 2 so she doesn’t think he’s a cheapskate.
However, my guess is that awful lot of men will be sitting in confusion on February 14th when their partner is in a sulk with them after unwrapping an Impact Drill and Sheet Sander. In what I couldn’t help thinking was an even more cynical marketing strategy, I noticed that as my eyes came to the end of the bright red seasonal aisle, full of champagne and cuddly teddy bears with hearts on them, they naturally fell on the start of the DIY aisle where they were selling these items at £9.97 each, or 2 for £15.