The blog of photographer and musician, Kim Ayres

If we could hold conversations with animals, would we all be vegetarians?

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If we could hold conversations with animals, would we all be vegetarians?

Well of course we would, most of us anyway, except cannibals, and rednecks. It’s much harder to kill and eat something you can identify with.

In this day and age where most meat comes pre-packaged, few make any real connection between the chewy stuff in their mouths and real live animals. In fact, many people who live in cities have never even seen a cow, pig or chicken up close. If they had to be there when it was killed, they’d probably be eating lentils for the rest of their lives, and that’s without animals talking. If they were to start pleading for their lives, or cracking a few good jokes, very few would be able to face munching on their flesh with a crispy side-salad.

Then again, if it’s easier to eat something you can’t empathise with, if the animals started spouting a right-wing, neo-con agenda, I’d be asking for the ketchup faster than you could say “do you want fries with that?”

Well, ok, probably not…


Hungry said...

Mmm.... I'll have a Nazi-burger to go please.

Anonymous said...

I think they do talk to us, just not in words. Animals have their own intelligence. I stopped eating meat almost 17 years ago after reading, "Diet For a New America" by John Robbins. I still cook it for my family of carnivores.

Hitler was vegetarian - so 'out' with the idea that being vegetarian makes one gentler.

You got my vote, Kim. I only got one piece of spam (meatless) after I voted for your last entry.

quinn said...

Hey kim...

I pretty much agree with jupiter's girl....Although I am not a vegetarian..I am not a big fan of red meat, I do have it though.

Is that where the spam I got came from >? first time I ever got spammed since I started blogging lol..

Kim Ayres said...

Hungry - welcome to my ramblings.

JG & Quinn - I don't know why you might have had spam. But you don't have to leave an email address to vote.

Not that I thinnk it's going to make a scrap of difference. I just popped over to see how it was going. I had 2 votes and the huy in the lead had 158 - the things only been going for 3 and a half hours. In a popularity contest with a paramedic I don't stand a chance.

Attila The Mom said...

You got my vote!

You know what kind of freaks me out is commercials with talking chickens or cows or turkeys selling their own stuff. Like they're crying "eat me!" in a creepy way. LOL

Anonymous said...

When I first read the question I read: ... would we all be veterinarians? It's a good thing I re-read the question 'cause my answer might of sounded weird...

Either way, if animals could talk (with words) I would seriously reconsider eating meat.

P.S. I did vote!

Dr Maroon said...

a) you don’t need a laptop.
b) to answer your question, humans will not colonise other planets. Our evolutionary decendants might. Some form of machine based life perhaps. waitaminute that was last week.
c) talking beasts? We either take the question at face value in which case we don’t eat them, or spray cosmetics in their eyes or inject them with 3-in-one oil to see what happens, or we question the question,( which is what philosophers are wont to do) and wonder if we can only eat what we can’t talk to. (J.G. is right!)What about the Germans and Japanese you ask? They could talk to everyone they killed in the last war-didn’t stop them shooting and gassing everyone that stood in their way! You declare. A total shower! More KKKKKK Koffee.
d) I may still vote for you. Talk about emotional blackmail.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kim

I was going to say something like 'Let battle commence!', but as soon as I had finished writing, I saw that the leader had garnered more votes than I received in ten days on the previous competition. Then I looked at the leader's blog. They are blogging from within the ambulance service! My guess is the winner has already been chosen.

Anonymous said...

Very nice exit.
It's a lot easier to kill and eat something you're close to that you might like to think. Imagine all those people who raise and eat bunnies. Calves are much cuter than cows, but veil tastes so much better, little piggies - no not toes- displayed in restaurant windows, alfalfa sprouts bowing their sweet heads, chubby sprigs of asparagus seared on the grill, cherubic cucumbers blended to a cream, gossipy tomatoes diced into salads, timid potatoes mercilessly boiled to mush. Sick bastards! Hey! How come Doc's so witty?

Dr Maroon said...

I practice.

Kim Ayres said...

Attila - In the TV and LP versions of The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy there's a lovely scene in the Restaurant at the End of the Universe where the diners get to meet the meat. The animal has been bred not only to be very tasty, but to be able to verbalise the fact that it wants to be eaten.

Stinkypaw - I don't think I could eat veterinarians...

Dr Maroon -
a) The family computer is kind of on it's last legs. I may have changed the power supply, but it keeps stalling when I try starting it up. A new computer wouldn't go amiss
b) glad to see you read the back posts Doc.
c) but as far as I'm aware, the Germans and Japanese didn't eat the people they killed.
d) Don't waste your guilt on it. I currently have 7 votes and the guy in the lead has 359, so if you find someone more deserving I won't be offended.

Dr McCrumble - Tom Reynolds is one of the most popular bloggers on the net. I've even seen him on TV and, rumour has it, his book sells very well. With a button on his site asking for votes it's got nothing to do with well crafted arguments or entertainment, it's purely a popularity contest that I don't stand a chance in.

Justin - Which Doc?

Dr Maroon - ah, you've decided for him I see

jennifer said...

Exactly...I think it depends entirely on what the animal has to say...:)

Just voted. Good luck!

happykat said...

I gonna have to go in the "we wouldn't eat them" crowd.

We own ducks and chickens along other fowl. I won't let my husband butcher them because I know them. Even when we had goats (which are disgustingly vile creatures), I wouldn't dare eat them. They had names, for crying i the mud!

I think you're right in that we're normally so far removed from the source of our food that we become desensitized.

Anonymous said...

To the contrary, if we were able to hold a conversation with a lion, tiger and/or bear (oh my) the wild beast wouldn’t look at us as their next meal? I don’t think so.

I like beef. If the beast and I had the ability to converse. I would invite him or her to a fancy vegetarian restaurant and while eating my fried tofu with a side of sprouts I would finally go nuts, jump over the table and attack Sam the steer with my butter knife. My meal of steak tar tar with sprouts and tofu would be complete.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I voted for you anyway.

Nikki said...

um...excuse me..I'm a redneck....and I could never eat an animal that I had become emotionally attached to.

My husband is living proof.

Anonymous said...

But we can't have conversations with animals so that belies the reasons that it is a non-issue for me personally.

cabronsito said...

A lot to tell you and the world about that topic.
But not anymore on the toshiba-site.
Of course I voted for you!

And I will every day.
This one is FOR YOU!!!


Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

What if the animals aren't nice though? In fact what if they're right b******s, real racist, speciesist, hateful gits, for whom we'd all agree that being made into sausages is too good, and that if we ate them then God's green earth would be all the better.

In fact what if one particular cow told you he was The Chosen One, God (re)incarnate, and he commanded you to eat all his pals in the field, and then have him with a nice spot of horseradish when this year's Nouveau Beaujolais comes out?

So under the circumstances of animals being either abominably foul arseholes or God, you might indeed eat them if they could talk.

Kim Ayres said...

Jennifer - thank you :)

HappyKat - I didn'tknow that goats were disgustingly vile creatures, but then I've never been up close to one. Which I guess means it would be ok to try goat meat...

BStrong - you should write a children's book about that - a cautionary tale of the Steer who believed a human.

Nikki - is your husband upset by this?

Jo - that's just quick way of avoiding the question. Don't you think it would be harder to kill and eat something if it could plead for it's life with you?

Cabronsito - thanks. Although unless you can muster an extra 200 votes per day, I think it's unlikely I'm going to win

Kim Ayres said...

Sam - missed you in the ether there.

Animal preachers - now there's a really scary thought

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